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1989 / January | View All Issues |

January 1989

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Uncle Sam, Stay Home

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Time waits for Pee Wee Herman·

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Where the people are nice and the trains run on time·

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Uranium, in moderation·

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Are you cut out for the CIA?·

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Bravo 20 bombing range near Fallon, Nevada, 1986·

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Gorby the antichrist·

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Republicans and Democrats disagree today on many issues, but they are united in their resolve that the United States must remain the world’s greatest military power. This bipartisan commitment to maintaining American supremacy has become a political signature of our times. In its most benign form, the consensus finds expression in extravagant and unremitting displays of affection for those who wear the uniform. Considerably less benign is a pronounced enthusiasm for putting our soldiers to work “keeping America safe.” This tendency finds the United States more or less permanently engaged in hostilities abroad, even as presidents from both parties take turns reiterating the nation’s enduring commitment to peace.

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"The F.N. asked to be sent to an institution whose legitimacy it did not accept, and French voters rewarded the party with first place in the election."
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"This bipartisan commitment to maintaining American supremacy has become a political signature of our times. In its most benign form, the consensus finds expression in extravagant and unremitting displays of affection for those who wear the uniform. Considerably less benign is a pronounced enthusiasm for putting our soldiers to work 'keeping America safe.'"
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Average number of times a Canadian apologizes each week:

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The Finnish postal service announced it will begin mowing lawns on Tuesdays.

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Matt was happy enough to sustain himself on the detritus of a world he saw as careening toward self-destruction, and equally happy to scam a government he despised. 'I’m glad everyone’s so wasteful,' he told me. 'It supports my lifestyle.'

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