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Riding shotgun

From transcripts of telephone conversations between Joseph Miedzianowski, a gang-crimes specialist with the Chicago Police Department, and William Jarding, a correctional officer with the Cook County Sheriff’s Department assigned to the Cook County firearms range. The conversations were recorded in November and December 1998, as a result of a court-authorized wiretap of Miedzianowski’s home telephone. In June 2002, Jarding was sentenced to sixteen months in prison for conspiracy to possess stolen ammunition. Miedzianowski is currently serving a life sentence for an unrelated drug-running conviction.

Joseph Miedzianowski: Hello.

William Jarding: Papa.

Miedzianowski: Hey, Billy.

Jarding: I’m still at work.

Miedzianowski: Whadda you doing?

Jarding: Working. So, you didn’t see that guy, did you?

Miedzianowski: I told you I’m gonna have it by tomorrow morning.

Jarding: Ch—, okay.

Miedzianowski: ’Cause, ah, I’m not gonna, I can’t let my little Billy sink or swim.

Jarding: Well, no, I—

Miedzianowski [cooing]: He, he’s my Billy. And I’m not sharing him with nobody. When you coming home tonight?

Jarding: I don’t know. I’m, I’m gonna be here for a couple of hours. I know that.

Miedzianowski: So, whaddaya gonna do? Just hang out?

Jarding: No. You gotta file the paperwork. Gotta get all that shit ready for them tomorrow. Make sure the range is clear. That’s it.

Miedzianowski: Too bad they lock the vault.

Jarding: Oh, that’s the first thing they do when I’m here. Are you fucking kidding? And you know the first thing they ask me: what jacket are you wearing and do you have a bag?

Miedzianowski: And whadda you say?

Jarding: I say, “Absolutely. Here, look.” And then when they go to lunch, [singing] Hi, ho!

Miedzianowski [singing]: Hi, ho!

[Both laugh.]

Jarding [singing]: There the ammo go!

Miedzianowski: If you got a chance when you get home tonight, give me a holler.

Jarding: Are you gonna be busy?

Miedzianowski: No, I’m, I’m being good. [laughs]

Jarding: Okay. Thanks, Pop.

Miedzianowski: Billy, take care now. Bye-bye.

Jarding: Goodbye.

Jarding: Hello.

Miedzianowski: How are you?

Jarding: What are you up to?

Miedzianowski: Billy, I’m gonna tell you somethin’, I’m not saying this as a joke, I pulled my back out so fuckin’ bad I bare-ly could get in the car to drive home yesterday.

Jarding: How d’ya do that?

Miedzianowski: You know.

[Jarding laughs.]

Miedzianowski: Worse pain I’ve ever fucking had. Anyways, my little commando, what are you doing? Can you come over here?

Jarding: Yeah. I just gotta jump in the shower and walk the dogs.

Miedzianowski: In about an hour? Make it an hour ’cause I’m gonna, she’s gonna be gone in about an hour. Okay?

Jarding: So, I’ll see you about two. I gotta walk the dogs.

Miedzianowski: Okay. Are you workin’ the range this week?

Jarding: Yep.

Miedzianowski: Steal. Steal. Steal.

[Jarding laughs.]

Miedzianowski: Seriously, steal, steal. That’s all I can tell ya. Three words: steal, steal, steal.

Jarding: Location, location. No, no.

[Miedzianowski laughs.]

Jarding: Strike that.

Miedzianowski [laughing]: Steal, steal, steal. Okay? I’ll see you, oh, in about an hour.

Jarding: Goodbye.

Miedzianowski: Take care, Billy.

Miedzianowski: Hello.

Jarding: Papa.

Miedzianowski: Hey, Billy. What’re you doing today?

Jarding: I’m at the range right now.

Miedzianowski: Again?

Jarding: I’m guarding our stash.

Miedzianowski [laughing]: Our stash.

Jarding: The only bad thing is that, ah, nine-millimeter ball, that’s it.

Miedzianowski: Really?

Jarding: Mmm. But next week, shotgun.

Miedzianowski: Shotgun, shotgun’s always good.

Jarding: Yep.

Miedzianowski: I’ll tell you what I’ll do. What time do you get off today, Billy?

Jarding: Ah, I’m not really sure.

Miedzianowski: This afternoon when I crawl out of my bed, I’ll give ya a call.

Jarding: Okay. Goodbye.

Miedzianowski: Good morning.

Jarding: Hello.

Miedzianowski: Good morning. You are my special friend.

Jarding: Hello.

Miedzianowski: Hello!

Jarding: I got a couple of goodies for you already, and I gotta wait for shotgun. They gotta go pick it up.

Miedzianowski: You gotta pick it up?

Jarding: No, they do.

Miedzianowski: Oh, I thought you said “you.” Oh my God, you’re never coming back.

Jarding: Oh, of course not.

Miedzianowski: Man, Bill, you already got ammunition. I am so proud of you.

Jarding: Early bird gets the worm, eh?

Miedzianowski: Well.

Jarding: So, what you kind of explained to me the other day is, don’t pay attention to Paulie [a Chicago police officer] about nothing?

Miedzianowski: Billy, this is the bottom line. His stories are stories. His stories are my stories. Anything I’ve done people are saying they’re doin’.

Jarding: Mmm hmm.

Miedzianowski: Man, Bill, I’ve thrown guys out third-floor windows, I fuckin’ beat ’em with hammers, I’ve run over them with cars. None of these fuckers got the balls to do that anymore. It’s ridiculous.

Jarding: It’s ’cause they’d all get jammed.

Miedzianowski: And why don’t I?

Jarding: Don’t know, it’s the magical touch.

Miedzianowski: ’Cause I’m papa.

Jarding: Mmm.

Miedzianowski: ’Cause I always remember one thing.

Jarding: Hmm?

Miedzianowski: What you put down on paper today will come to haunt you tomorrow. [laughs]

Jarding: That part is true.

Miedzianowski: So I always put down the right stuff.

Jarding: Mmm hmm.

Miedzianowski: The right story, the right, the truth. You know what I mean? The truth will always prevail.

Jarding: Yeah.

Miedzianowski: Okay, beautiful. Well, I tell you what, I’ll see you here at four o’clock then?

Jarding: Okay.

Miedzianowski: Wilhelm, take care.

Jarding: Shotgun day.

Miedzianowski: Take care now.

Jarding: Goodbye.

Miedzianowski: Bye-bye.

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