Weekly Review

By Roger D. Hodge

Former Haitian president Jean-Bertrand Aristide accused the United States of overthrowing him in a coup. "I was forced to leave," he said. "Agents were telling me that if I don't leave they would start shooting and killing in a matter of time."¹ State Department officials claimed that the U.S. had simply declined to protect Haiti's democratically elected president from the advancing rebel mob.² Aristide called for a restoration of democracy and for peaceful resistance against the foreign occupiers.³ Two hundred seventy-one Shiite worshipers were killed in simultaneous bombing attacks on mosques in Baghdad and Karbala; international telephone service was knocked out on the same day by a rocket attack.⁴ Baghdad's sewage continued to flow untreated into the Tigris River, and the⁵ Iraqi Governing Council signed an interim constitution; Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani denounced the new constitution and again called for direct elections.⁶ Violent protests continued in Venezuela, where⁷ President Hugo Chávez called George W. Bush an asshole, and the⁸ National Electoral Council declared that Chávez opponents had failed to gather enough valid signatures to trigger a recall election.⁹ A video store was blown up in Afghanistan.¹⁰ French lawmakers passed a ban on Islamic headscarves, and¹¹ Russian religious leaders refused to permit Roman Catholics to attend a conference on religious tolerance.¹²

China issued a report condemning the United States for its human-rights violations and its "military aggression around the world."¹³ Iraqis were demanding to know the whereabouts and condition of more than 10,000 men and boys (ages 11 to 75) who are being detained by American forces.¹⁴ Nigeria was looking for ways to "decongest" its death-row facilities, and¹⁵ California's supreme court ruled that a Catholic charity must cover birth control in its employee health coverage.¹⁶ Homosexuals continued to get married around the country, and¹⁷ Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was named as the new executive editor of Muscle and Fitness and Flex magazines, said it was fine with him if voters want to change the law to permit gay marriage.¹⁸ A new study found that angry men are more likely to drop dead of stroke.¹⁹ A self-described "pressure-group with a terrorist character" was threatening to bomb French trains unless it receives a $5 million ransom; French investigators speculated that the group has anarchist or left-wing or right-wing tendencies.²⁰ Attorney General John Ashcroft was hospitalized with gallstone pancreatitis.²¹ President Bush was criticized for exploiting September 11 in his new campaign advertisements, which employ paid actors instead of real firemen, and²² Jose Padilla, the American citizen who was seized in Chicago in June 2002 and declared an enemy combatant, met with his lawyers for the very first time.²³ Astronomers at the Chandra X-ray Observatory found evidence of a new class of black holes.²⁴

Senator John Kerry eliminated his remaining competition for the Democratic presidential nomination, and²⁵ McDonald's began phasing out its popular "Supersize" order of french fries.²⁶ NASA scientists announced that Mars was once wet enough to support life.²⁷ Martha Stewart revealed that she was "distressed" to have been convicted for lying about an improper stock trade that saved her about $45,000. Stewart's television show was withdrawn by WCBS, and there was speculation that her company might not be able to survive its association with a convicted felon.²⁸ Bernard Ebbers, the former CEO of WorldCom, pleaded not guilty to carrying out the largest accounting fraud in American history, and²⁹ Alan Greenspan, the chairman of the Federal Reserve, suggested cutting Social Security and Medicare to help pay for President Bush's massive tax cuts for the rich.³⁰ The inspector general of the USDA opened a criminal investigation into whether the Washington State mad cow was falsely listed as a downer; the man who killed the cow, the man who took the cow to slaughter, and the owner of the slaughterhouse have all said that the cow was able to walk. A spokeswoman for the agency said that she could not "fathom" the notion that a high-ranking USDA official could have ordered the falsification, though she did not deny the charge but simply repeated that she could not "fathom" it.³¹ Avian flu was found on two more U.S. farms.³² An Israeli fashion designer staged a photo shoot along the West Bank wall near Jerusalem; several young models were photographed while posing under Arabic graffiti that read: "I AM A BIG DONKEY."³³ Pfizer Global Pharmaceuticals announced that Viagra doesn't work on women.³⁴