Weekly Review

By Paul Ford

White House photo.

George W. Bush named national security advisor Condoleezza Rice to replace Colin Powell as secretary of state.¹ A few days later,Condoleezza Rice entered the hospital for minor surgery of an undisclosed nature.² Bush spared two Thanksgiving turkeys from death.³ “By virtue of an unconditional presidential pardon, they are safe from harm,” he said.⁴ The turkeys, named Biscuits and Gravy, were chosen by an Internet poll, beating out Patience and Fortitude.⁵ Texas prisoner Anthony Fuentes was executed.⁶ A buck was captured and euthanized after running through Chicago's O'Hare Airport ⁷, and a Texas website was planning to offer hunters the ability to shoot animals online.⁸ Congress passed a $388 billion spending bill.⁹ The bill had $15.8 billion worth of “extras,” including $25,000 for the study of mariachi music and $2 million to buy back the presidential yacht, sold by Jimmy Carter in 1977.¹⁰ The yacht, the U.S.S. Sequoia, currently rents for $2,500 an hour.¹¹ The bill also allows hospitals and HMOs to refuse to provide abortions, and¹² gave two committee chairmen and their assistants access to income tax returns, without regard to privacy laws. Republicans acknowledged the mistake of the latter provision, and vowed to repeal it.¹³ The House Republican Conference changed its rules to allow majority leader Tom DeLay to maintain his leadership role if he is indicted.¹⁴ The dollar fell sharply against the Euro.¹⁵ Inflation rose¹⁶, and many credit card lenders were doubling and tripling their rates.¹⁷

There was fighting in Baghdad, Addhamiya, and Mosul, where nine Iraqi soldiers were executed.^{18 19} It appeared that Margaret Hassan, an aid worker held hostage in Iraq, had been executed. Another hostage, Teresa Borcz Khalifa, was released after being held for three weeks.²⁰ A U.S. Marine was caught on videotape as he shot and killed a wounded, apparently unarmed man in a Falluja mosque.²¹ Soldiers at Fort Lewis, Washington, were throwing chocolate pudding and lemon-lime Gatorade at each other in order to prepare for duty at Army detention centers like Guantánamo Bay. “I feel good about this mission,” said one soldier. “I get to be part of the solution.”²² Web publishers were upset with the White House for denying them the right to host a Christmastime video of Barney the dog; the White House insisted that the publishers link to the video instead of hosting it themselves. Last year's video, “Barney Reloaded,” which featured Karl Rove draped in Christmas lights, brought 24 million visitors to the White House website.²³ The Army and Air Force increased the number of mobilized National Guard and Army Reserve personnel to 182,478, and²⁴ Senator John McCain called for up to 50,000 more troops in Iraq.²⁵ Colin Powell visited Israel and the West Bank.²⁶

Kmart and Sears merged ²⁷, thieves stole a 10-ton railway bridge in Australia,²⁸ and an elderly South African woman was eaten by a shark.²⁹ A Yemeni FBI informant set himself on fire in front of the White House³⁰, and the Clinton library opened in Little Rock, Arkansas.³¹ The management of a company with offices near the library asked its employees to leave their guns at home on the day of the opening.³² British programmers released a game called “JFK: Reloaded,” which recreates the Grassy Knoll. “Players will discover just how hard it is to place those three bullets in exactly the same way that Oswald did,” said a spokesman for the game company.³³ It was extremely windy in Austria and Slovakia ³⁴, and strong winds killed seven in Poland.³⁵ Fifty-five died in an iron mine fire in the Chinese province of Hebei³⁶, and 54 were killed in the crash of a passenger plane in Baotou, in Inner Mongolia.³⁷ China was planning to launch 100 satellites by 2020.³⁸ A plague of locusts, which are kosher, swept through parts of Israel.³⁹ Locusts also invaded Cairo ⁴⁰, and Egypt decided to allow foreign belly dancers.⁴¹ The mayor of Riyadh announced that no foreign observers would be welcome in Saudi Arabia's municipal elections, nor would women be able to participate as voters, or candidates.⁴² The U.N. announced plans to send 7,000 peacekeeping troops to Sudan ⁴³, and U.S. and Afghan forces were looking for three kidnapped U.N. workers in Kabul.⁴⁴ A union representing U.N. staff registered a vote of no confidence in the U.N.'s senior management.⁴⁵ Ukraine elected Viktor Yanukovich as its president, although observers said the election failed to meet international standards.⁴⁶ The World Conservation Union released a list of 15,589 endangered species, 8,323 of them plants or lichen⁴⁷, and a tanker spilled 44,909 gallons of oil off the coast of Newfoundland.⁴⁸ Cholera killed 42 in Nigeria ⁴⁹, and an experimental jet flew at 6,600 miles an hour.⁵⁰ A new poll showed that nearly one half of the U.S. population believes that human beings did not evolve, but instead were created by God within the last 10,000 years, while only one third believe that the theory of evolution is accurate.⁵¹ Cubans were building a new Russian Orthodox church⁵², and Catholic dioceses in America were buckling under the financial strain of sex-abuse lawsuits; dioceses in Tucson, Arizona, and Portland, Oregon, had declared bankruptcy.⁵³ The World Toilet Summit was held in China⁵⁴, and Americans were celebrating National Bible Week. ⁵⁵ Scientists flooded the Grand Canyon. ⁵⁶