Readings — From the May 2013 issue

Poetic License

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From correspondence recently received and sent by members of Washington State’s Personalized License Plate Review Committee.

shgnwgn — We feel that this plate could be offensive to good taste and is misleading. The registered owner states that the meaning is “name of Scooby-Doo’s van.” In researching, it was found that the name of Scooby-Doo’s van is the Mystery Machine.

I was shocked and offended that someone would make a complaint about my plate. jugalet is simply the name given to fans of an underground Christian record label (Psychopathic Records).

Recently while driving, I was behind a sedan with plates bearing puinsai. While this term is not known in Washington, it is well known in the Hawaiian Islands. It is loose English/slang for “put inside,” which references sex with a woman.

I have submitted to get a personal license plate pork. I have had that plate before, in the late ’70s, when I first got my driver’s license. Now that I’m fifty-two years old, I would like to get it back if possible. I have had that nickname over forty years and to this day I still have friends call me Pork.

I realize that the licensing office makes every effort to prevent offensive and vulgar personalized plates from reaching the road, but I admit I was surprised to see a Chevy Volt today with the plate ef opec, in which “ef” clearly means the f-word, since it’s attached to an electric vehicle and is meant to insult the OPEC cartel.

I just received this notice advising me about the license number dbachre. Debauchery has been somehow connected with “unseemly sexual activity.” I have never thought about it that way. Debauchery always meant to me, “Leading one astray, or going out and drinking and carousing,” without the end result or intention to have a sexual liaison.

This plate is issued to Cut Rate Auto Parts, very commonly known as CRAP. We have never received a complaint. It was thoroughly researched prior to being issued, to verify that it is on a vehicle that clearly advertises the meaning of the plate.

I received your letter today in the mail and was very surprised that somebody would take my license plate caca so far out of context. My niece, when she was a baby, could not say my name, Courtney, and every time she tried it came out “Auntie CaCa.”

Re: complaint regarding personalized license plate ceme4dk. As you may notice by my letterhead, I am a dentist here in Washington. My license plate is read as “See me for decay.”

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