Weekly Review — April 12, 2005, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

[Image: Devil Spanker]

Eighteen people died when a U.S. helicopter crashed in Afghanistan. The Taliban claimed they shot down the helicopter; the United States blamed bad weather.BBC NewsChicago TribuneIraq’s parliament elected Jalal Talabani, a Kurd, as president; his Presidency Council then named Ibrahim Jaffari, a Shiite, as prime minister.BBC NewsSenior American defense officials noted several positive developments in Iraq: only thirty-six American soldiers, they said, died there this March; attacks on allied forces were down to thirty or forty a day; and by early 2006, only 105,000 American soldiers may be needed in the country.New York TimesTens of thousands of Iraqis held a nonviolent march in Baghdad to protest the American occupation,Reuterstens of thousands of Lebanese held a mass jog through Beirut to show national unity,APand thousands of Chinese rallied to protest Japanese history textbooks.The AustralianThe Bush Administration was working to gain access to records of international money transfers,New York Timesand transcripts of legal proceedings at Guantánamo Bay were released. “I don’t care about international law,” said the president of a military tribunal in one transcript. “I don’t want to hear the words ‘international law’ again. We are not concerned with international law.”APAt the pope’s funeral, Prince Charles shook Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe’s hand,The Guardianthen went home to England, where he married Camilla Parker Bowles.BBC NewsTony Blair called a general election for May 5, 2005.BBC NewsPrince Rainier III of Monaco died,New York Timesand Peter Jennings announced that he has lung cancer.New York Times

Scottish soccer fans booed during a moment of silence to honor the pope,APSaul Bellow died,APand National Library Week began.The Daily DemocratThe New York Public Library planned to auction off rare artworks to raise money,New York Timesand developers in England were about to start construction on Dickens World, a $113 million theme park that will offer an Ebenezer Scrooge ride and Dickens characters on ice.SEEDAA long-lost poem written by Tennessee Williams was discovered,Washington Universityand geneticists bred blue roses.Biology News NetTen million eight hundred thousand copies of the next Harry Potter book were being printed.Argus LeaderIn Florida, investigators traced an outbreak of E. coli to a petting zoo,KansasCity.comand the EPA decided to cancel a study of the effects of pesticides on infants.Salt Lake TribuneIt was revealed that Interior Department scientists studying the environmental effects of a proposed nuclear waste dump at Yucca Mountain, Nevada, had made things up and deleted findings they did not understand so that the development of the dump could go forward. “Science by peer pressure is dangerous but sometime it is necessary,” one scientist wrote in an email.New York TimesThe United Arab Emirates tested prototypes of robotic camel jockeys, which will replace child camel jockeys,Reutersa nine-foot-long eel with a head as big as a soccer ball was swimming loose in Australia,ABC News Onlineand millions??possibly billions??of butterflies were fluttering towards California.Biology News NetIt was announced that Cookie Monster would cut back on cookies.Seattle Post-Intelligencer

Republicans held a conference to discuss ways to reform the federal judiciary, which they say has “run amok.” Senator Tom Coburn’s chief of staff said that “mass impeachment” of judges might be necessary, and Tom DeLay, who is under investigation for illegal fundraising, gave a pre-recorded speech entitled “Confronting the Judicial War on Faith.”New York TimesDeLay was accused of paying his wife and daughter $500,000 from funds controlled by his political-action committee. He was also accused of taking lobbyist-funded trips to Russia, Saipan, and Scotland.ABC NewsNew York TimesBoth sides in Ivory Coast’s civil war signed a peace accord.Globe and MailScientists drilled 4,644 feet into the earth’s crust, nearly reaching the mantle,Kerala NextAndreaDworkin died,The Guardianand archaeologists in Germany uncovered a 7,200-year-old pornographic statue. The GuardianA study found that store clerks are more respectful to slender shoppers than to obese ones,APand scientists in Connecticut inseminated a whale.Live ScienceIn Indiana, someone threw a pie in William Kristol’s face. Someone else threw a pie at David Horowitz. Prior to the pie throwings, Pat Buchanan was doused with salad dressing.Palladium-ItemIsrael was planning to dump 10,000 tons of garbage a month into the West Bank,Haaretzand Israeli soldiers shot dead three Palestinian teenagers in Gaza.HaaretzA social-studies teacher in Georgia was in trouble for putting on blackface,WSBTV.coma Virginia judge sentenced a spammer to nine years in jail,APand a Georgia man died after police shot him with nonlethal beanbags.CNN.comMany conservative American pharmacists were refusing to dispense birth control,BBC Newsand tailors sewed the next pope’srobes.USA Today

Share
Single Page

More from Paul Ford:

From the May 2010 issue

Just like heaven

Weekly Review March 23, 2010, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Weekly Review November 24, 2009, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Get access to 164 years of
Harper’s for only $39.99

United States Canada

CATEGORIES

THE CURRENT ISSUE

December 2014

Gateway to Freedom

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Guns and Poses

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Christmas in Prison

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Poison Apples

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Growing Up

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

view Table Content

FEATURED ON HARPERS.ORG

Article
Beeper World·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“The beeper, for a certain kind of Miami teenager in the Nineties, was an essential evolutionary adaptation.”
Photograph by Curran Hatleberg
Article
Hammer Island·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“The place could have sprung from someone’s jealous dream about white people.”
Photograph by Emily Stein
Article
Growing Up·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“The best coming-of-age stories have a hole in the middle. They pretend to be about knowledge, but they are usually about grasping, long after it could be of any use, one’s irretrievable ignorance.”
Photograph by Ben Pier
Article
Guns and Poses·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“‘It’s open shopping,’ he said. ‘A warehouse. The whole of Libya.’”
Map by Mike Reagan
Article
Christmas in Prison·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“Just so you motherfuckers know, I’ll be spending Christmas with my family, eating a good meal, and you’ll all be here, right where you belong.”
Photographer unknown. Artwork courtesy Alyse Emdur

Amount that President Obama has added to America’s “brand value” according to the Nation Brands Index:

$2,100,000,000,000

A study suggested that the health effects of exposure to nuclear radiation at Chernobyl were no worse than ill health resulting from smoking and normal urban air pollution.

A Utah woman named Cameo Crispi pleaded guilty to having drunkenly attempted to burn down her ex-boyfriend’s house by igniting bacon on his kitchen stove.

Subscribe to the Weekly Review newsletter. Don’t worry, we won’t sell your email address!

HARPER’S FINEST

In Praise of Idleness

By

I hope that after reading the following pages the leaders of the Y. M. C. A. will start a campaign to induce good young men to do nothing. If so, I shall not have lived in vain.

Subscribe Today