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Visiting Scotland for the G8 summit, President George W. Bush fell off his bicycle after running into a policeman. Bush was hurt, but not badly. The policeman hurt his ankle. “I should act my age,” said Bush.APIOL.co.zaTerrorists set off bombs on three trains and a bus in London, killing fifty-two people, despite the fact that in 2003 Dick Cheney said that “our military is confronting the terrorists, along with our allies, in Iraq and Afghanistan so that innocent civilians will not have to confront terrorist violence in Washington or London or anywhere else in the world.”The ScotsmanThe White HousePresident Bush condemned attacks on innocent folks by those with evil in their hearts. “The war on terror,” he eulogized, “goes on.”The White HouseSeveral London hotels increased their rates in response to the bombings.BBC NewsBritish MP George Galloway said that “London has reaped the involvement of Mr. Blair’s involvement in Iraq.”Democracy Now!In Iraq, a suicide bombing killed twenty-one people, eight members of the same Shiite family were shot and killed, and suicide car bombs killed seven people near the Syrian border. Washington PostIraqi police detained twelve suspected militants inside a metal box under the Iraqi sun; nine died from the heat, and one of the survivors complained that he had been given electric shocks by the police.BBC NewsSilvio Berlusconi announced that Italy would start pulling its troops out of Iraq in September,The Guardianand in Afghanistan, the Taliban beheaded ten Afghan soldiers and killed a Navy SEAL.The GuardianThe commander of Guantánamo Bay was fired,Washington Postand a nine-year-old boy fell into a hot-spring pool at Yellowstone National Park and was burned on over 40 percent of his body.Jackson Hole Zone
A South Carolina courthouse was vandalized by a goat,TheKansasCityChannel.comand New York Times journalist Judith Miller was sent to jail in Virginia for refusing to appear before a grand jury in connection to the Valerie Plame case. At the jail, where Zacarias Moussaoui is also an inmate, she had to sleep on the floor. Karl Rove’s lawyer acknowledged that Rove spoke about Valerie Plame to Time Magazine reporter Matt Cooper; Rove released Cooper from his promise of confidentiality, allowing the journalist to testify and avoid jail.The New York TimesAFPLeaders at the G8 meeting decided to give $3 billion to Palestine.ReutersThey also decided to double the aid sent to Africa to $50 billion. “Too little,” said a Uganda aid activist, “too late.”ReutersIsrael planned to ask the United States for $2.2 billion to help them pull out from Gaza.ReutersThe European Parliament voted 648 to 14 against software patents.BBC NewsSeattle’s new energy-efficient city hall building was found to be using 15 to 50 percent more electricity than its larger predecessor.The Seattle Post IntelligencerPolar bears were dying in greater numbers due to global warming,Washington Postand a man was arrested for paying children to yell at him because he is fat.The Salt Lake TribuneMcDonald’s corporation asked Russell Simmons, P. Diddy, and Tommy Hilfiger to redesign the company’s uniforms. CNN MoneyThe United Church of Christ endorsed same-sex marriage.The GuardianFour teenagers were charged with urinating into the holy water at the Saint Pius X church in Rochester, New York,The Pittsburgh Channeland Cedric, a seventy-year-old turtle prone to attacking drainpipes and lawn mowers, was wandering loose in Borrowash, Derbyshire.BBC News
U.S. Treasury Secretary John Snow said that Canadian oil was important to American security.Houston ChronicleBulls gored four people in Spain,Reuterscats were suffering from plague in Wyoming,USA Todayand Air Supply played the Karl Marx theater in Cuba.ABC13.comHurricane Dennis killed thirty-two people in the Caribbean.ReutersBoth factions in the Ivory Coast war agreed to disarm by October.ReutersPaula Jones announced that she would visit the Clinton Library,APand a study found that circumcised men are less likely to contract HIV.The AdvocateThe Godfather was being made into a video game.The New York TimesIt was announced that up to 4,700 birds, including burrowing owls, red-tailed hawks, and golden raptors, were being killed each year by a wind farm in Altamont, California.The GuardianA Hungarian-speaking parakeet was loose in Vermont,APand a Massachusettsparrot appeared to understand the concept of zero.MSNBCScientists found that taking regular showers could cause brain damage,Daily Mailfour hundred sheep killed themselves in Turkey,IOL.co.zaand at a funeral in Pennsylvania a corpse was given a pack of cigarettes, a beer, and a remote control and allowed to watch football.Post-Gazette
More from Paul Ford:
Number of British women killed last fall by lightning conducted through their underwire bras:
British women wear heels for fifty-one years on average, from the ages of twelve to sixty-three.
Thousands of employees of McDonaldâ€™s protested outside the companyâ€™s headquarters near Chicago, demanding their wages be increased to $15 per hour. â€śI canâ€™t afford any shoes,â€ť said one employee in attendance, â€śand I want Versace heels.â€ť
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â€śShelby is waiting for something. He himself does not know what it is. When it comes he will either go back into the world from which he came, or sink out of sight in the morass of alcoholism or despair that has engulfed other vagrants.â€ť