SIGN IN to access Harper’s Magazine
Need to create a login? Want to change your email address or password? Forgot your password?
1. Sign in to Customer Care using your account number or postal address.
2. Select Email/Password Information.
3. Enter your new information and click on Save My Changes.
Subscribers can find additional help here. Not a subscriber? Subscribe today!
Hurricane Rita, the third-most intense hurricane ever recorded in the Atlantic basin, struck Florida, Texas, Arkansas, Mississippi, and Louisiana, killing 36 people and causing flooding, tornadoes, and storm surges, and re-flooding parts of New Orleans. Hurricane evacuations caused miles of traffic jams in Texas, and a bus filled with elderly people exploded when an oxygen tank caught fire, incinerating at least 24 passengers.WikipediaHouston ChronicleIn the wake of Hurricane Rita, which damaged a number of oil refineries, President George W. Bush called on Americans to conserve gas. “I mean,” he said, “people just need to recognize that the storms have caused disruption and that if they’re able to maybe not drive when they–on a trip that’s not essential, that would helpful.”The White HouseIt was reported that President Bush, exhausted from job stress, was back on the bottle. “Stop, George!” Laura Bush allegedly yelled as she walked in on him drinking straight whiskey.The National EnquirerWikipediaSlate.comThe Bush Administration raised $600 from U.S. citizens to help rebuild Iraq, where at least 42 people died in the fighting this week.The GuardianThe Washington PostOne hundred thousand people marched in Washington, D.C., to protest the war.APCindy Sheehan was arrested.APIn Poland an 18-month-old child ran over three family members with a car,Reutersand in India a 12-year-old girl killed herself after her mother told her that she could not afford to give her a single rupee for lunch.BBC NewsAn earthquake struck Peru.BBC News
A Chinook helicopter crashed in Afghanistan, killing the entire crew.BBC NewsMembers of the Armyâ??s 82nd Airborne Division admitted that while in Iraq their battalion regularly tortured prisoners. “Some days,” said a sergeant, “we would just get bored, so we would have everyone sit in a corner and then make them get in a pyramid. This was before Abu Ghraib, but just like it. We did it for amusement.” Another sergeant said that he had seen a soldier beat detainees with an open chemical light. “That made them glow in the dark, which was real funny,” he said, “but it burned their eyes, and their skin was irritated real bad.”The New York TimesNASA announced that it wanted to return to the moon,Reutersand China was preparing to send the manned Shenzhou VI spacecraft into orbit.Red NovaNew York City announced that it would install up to twenty public pay toilets, one for every 405,203 people.1010 WINSIn Wichita Falls, Texas, a man named Roderick Johnson was suing prison officials for allowing him to be made into a sexual slave. Johnson testified that he had once been the “property” of a prison gang called the Gangster Disciples, who rented him out at rates ranging from $3 to $7 per rape. A defendant in the case said that Johnsonâ??s testimony was not credible because he never showed the “bruises,” “possible broken bones,” or “a little worse” that would prove that the sex was nonconsensual.The New York TimesA man in Butte, Montana, was charged with killing and beheading a dog, then throwing the severed head at the dogâ??s owner. “Here,” said the man, “is your f——- dog back.”The Independent RecordThirty-six military-traineddolphins with toxic dart guns were reported missing in the Gulf of Mexico.The Guardian
Hamas announced that it would stop using the Gaza Strip to stage incursions into Israel after Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon promised to crack down on the group. LA TimesThe National Rifle Association convinced a district court to stop gun confiscations in New Orleans,The National Rifle Associationand the Irish Republican Army laid down its arms.The Washington PostA man in Portland, Oregon was calling people, telling them he had kidnapped an 11-year-old girl, and threatening to hurt the girl unless the recipients of the calls engaged in phone sex.The Corvallis Gazette-TimesThe FDA was criticized for naming a veterinarian trained in animal husbandry as acting director for the Office of Womenâ??s Health.The Washington PostGreece won the Eurobasket.FIBA.comAn Australian surfer avoided a shark attack by punching the shark.CNN.comA Des Moines, Iowa, high school teacher was in trouble for confronting the students who toilet-papered his house with a sword,The Iowa Channeland the skeleton of a schizophrenic man was found in Wales; he had handcuffed himself to a tree. Deep scuff marks on the tree made it clear that the man had tried to free himself.Liverpool Daily Post
More from Paul Ford:
Many comedians consider stand-up the purest form of comedy; Doug Stanhope considers it the freest. â€śOnce you do stand-up, it spoils you for everything else,â€ť he says. â€śYouâ€™re the director, performer, and producer.â€ť Unlike most of his peers, however, Stanhope has designed his career around exploring that freedom, which means choosing a life on the road. Perhaps this is why, although he is extremely ambitious, prolific, and one of the best stand-ups performing, so many Americans havenâ€™t heard of him. Many comedians approach the road as a means to an end: a way to develop their skills, start booking bigger venues, and, if theyâ€™re lucky, get themselves airlifted to Hollywood. But life isnâ€™t happening on a sit-com set or a sketch showÂ â€” at least not the life that has interested Stanhope. He isnâ€™t waiting to be invited to the party; indeed, heâ€™s been hosting his own party for years.
Because of the present comedy boom, civilians are starting to hear about Doug Stanhope from other comedians like Ricky Gervais, Sarah Silverman, and LouisÂ CK. But Stanhope has been building a devoted fan base for the past two decades, largely by word of mouth. On tour, he prefers the unencumbered arrival and the quick exit: cheap motels where you can pull the van up to the door of the room and park. Heâ€™s especially pleased if thereâ€™s an on-site bar, which increases the odds of hearing a good story from the sort of person who tends to drink away the afternoon in the depressed cities where he performs. Stanhopeâ€™s America isnâ€™t the one still yammering on about its potential or struggling with losing hope. For the most part, hope is gone. On Word of Mouth, his 2002 album, he says, â€śAmerica may be the best country, but thatâ€™s like being the prettiest Dennyâ€™s waitress. Just because youâ€™re the best doesnâ€™t make you good.â€ť
Ratio of husbands who say they fell in love with their spouse at first sight to wives who say this:
Mathematicians announced the discovery of the perfect method of cutting a cake.
Indian prime-ministerial contender Narendra Modi, who advertises his bachelorhood as a mark of his incorruptibility, confessed to having a wife.
Subscribe to the Weekly Review newsletter. Donâ€™t worry, we wonâ€™t sell your email address!
Scienceâ€™s crisis of faith