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Seven people died in a suicide car bombing in Iraq,The Guardianand a Norfolk, Virginia, man changed his name to Kentucky Fried Cruelty.com.NBC6.netRussia shut down a natural-gas pipeline to Ukraine; as a result, natural-gas supplies were diminished in Hungary, France, Italy, Poland, and Germany.BBC NewsU.S. financial giant Citigroup was attempting to purchase about 85 percent of the state-owned Guangdong Development Bank of China.The New York TimesThe U.S. Justice Department opened an investigation into who leaked information about the NSA’s domestic wiretapping program to the New York Times. Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. and Times editor Bill Keller refused to answer any questions about the leak, even though the questions came from their own public editor.The Washington PostThe New York TimesA 2-year-old in Patchogue, New York, was found drunk,APand a judge ruled that John Hinckley Jr. could make unsupervised visits to his parents.CNN.comIn Malaysia people were searching for a 10-foot-tall ape that walks upright.ReutersThe New Year was postponed by one second to accommodate for the slowing rotation of the earth.The ScotsmanIt was flooding in California, and parts of Oklahoma and Texas were on fire.CBS NewsForbes.com
Twenty Sudanese migrants, protesting their treatment in Egypt, were killed by Egyptian police.BBC NewsA landslide in Yemen killed 30 people,BBC Newsand a collapsing ice rink in Germany killed 11 people.BBC NewsA police officer in Fremont, California, was attacked by a pack of chihuahuas and was later treated for ankle bites.APAn airplane flying from England to Spain made an unscheduled stop in Porto Santo, a 10-mile-long, three-mile-wide island, to eject a disruptive passenger.TelegraphA British woman married an Israelidolphin after fifteen years of courtship. “I am just waiting for everyone to leave,” said the woman, “so we can have a private moment.” NBC10.comWives in China were suing their husbands’ mistresses to reclaim gifts the mistresses had received from the husbands.China DailyA judge ruled that it was illegal for the Bush Administration to continue to imprison several ChineseMuslims at Guantánamo Bay. Nine months ago a tribunal determined that the prisoners in question were not actually enemy combatants, but U.S. law will not allow them to be sent to China because China persecutes Muslims, and no other country wants the prisoners. The judge also noted that he had no power to enforce his own ruling.Boston.comIn Utah a 13-year-old girl who became pregnant by her 12-year-old boyfriend was ruled a sex offender. The 12-year-old boy was also ruled a sex offender. “It’s a paradox,” said the girl’s attorney.The Salt Lake Tribune
Nepalese Maoist Pushpa Kamal Dahal announced an end to the four-month truce with King Gyanendra’s Royal Nepalese Army.New KeralaIt was revealed that Pentagon contractors had hired IraqiSunni clerics to help them develop propaganda campaigns.The New York TimesIn Florida a 16-year-old named Farris Hassan decided to complete a school project on the Iraq war by going to Iraq; he made it to Baghdad, and was sent back to Florida by United States authorities. “This place,” explained an official, “is incredibly dangerous to individual private American citizens.”CNN.comA U.S. National Guardsman who served in Iraq was sentenced to 25 years in prison after he pleaded guilty to shooting an Iraqi soldier with whom he had had consensual gay sex.Gay.com/APU.S. school buses were increasingly being plastered with advertisements,CBS Newsand the University of Michigan was boycotting Coca-Cola products because of Coca-Cola’s human rights policies.Local 6In West Virginia 13 miners were trapped underground.ABC NewsA woman in New York City was under investigation for putting her dead husband in a suitcase and leaving him there until neighbors complained of the smell. “She wanted to take him to Arizona to be buried,” explained a detective.NewsdayAuthorities in New Zealand shot and killed 41 stranded pilot whales.Toronto StarA study found that Antonin Scalia is the funniest of the Supreme Court justices; in fact Scalia is 19 times funnier than Ruth Bader Ginsburg. A former clerk defended Ginsburg’s sense of humor: “Maybe not often, perhaps not loudly or with great vigor and the wild waving of arms,” said the clerk, “but laugh she does.”The New York TimesAnother study found that Americans have a lot of stuff.The Christian Science MonitorHunters in Spain were killing 50,000 hunting greyhounds each year by drowning, poisoning, and hanging them; those greyhounds that “humiliate” their owners by failing to win races or catch hares are often hanged in such a way that their paws barely touch the ground, and as they struggle against the noose, the dogs’ nails make a clacking noise. This is known as “the typewriting death.”The Guardian
More from Paul Ford:
Number of British women killed last fall by lightning conducted through their underwire bras:
British women wear heels for fifty-one years on average, from the ages of twelve to sixty-three.
Thousands of employees of McDonaldâ€™s protested outside the companyâ€™s headquarters near Chicago, demanding their wages be increased to $15 per hour. â€śI canâ€™t afford any shoes,â€ť said one employee in attendance, â€śand I want Versace heels.â€ť
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â€śShelby is waiting for something. He himself does not know what it is. When it comes he will either go back into the world from which he came, or sink out of sight in the morass of alcoholism or despair that has engulfed other vagrants.â€ť