Weekly Review — March 14, 2006, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

[Image: A Humbug, December 1853]

The U.S. State Department issued a report criticizing human rights abuses in China, North Korea, Iran, and Cuba. It also criticized the rights records of Jordan and Egypt, two countries where the United States has sent detainees to be interrogated. The report noted that the United States’ “own journey towards liberty and justice for all has been long and difficult,” and is “far from complete.”The New York TimesThe IndependentA bombing at a Shiite market in Sadr City, Iraq, killed at least 50 people; Shiite vigilantes responded by abducting four men, beating and executing them, and hanging them from lampposts.The New York TimesIn Baghdad 37 corpses were found, including 18 bodies stacked in a minibus. The corpse of American peace activist Tom Fox was found in a trash heap in western Baghdad; Fox and three other members of Christian Peacemaker Teams had been kidnapped in November 2005 by the Swords of Righteousness Brigade.The New York TimesThe New York TimesThe Iraqi government hanged 13 insurgents,AP via Yahoo! Newsand it was reported that Iraq’sShiite party had ordered the Health Ministry to stop recording deaths that resulted from execution-style shootings.The Washington PostAmericans had nearly $800 billion in credit-card debt.TribStar.comU.S. Treasury Secretary John Snow warned Congress that the United States was about to exceed its debt limit of $8.2 trillion,The Toronto Starand a five-year study into alternative methods of managing hog waste produced no feasible alternative to the current practice of filling massive lagoons with excrement.WRAL.comIn rural Nepal fathers were being paid in piglets if they agreed not to sell their daughters into servitude,The Christian Science Monitorand a farmer in Germany said that he got the idea of feeding a friend’s corpse to pigs from a lecture about Buddhism.MSNBCThe Sheaf, a University of Saskatchewan campus newspaper, was criticized for publishing a cartoon showing Jesus Christfellating a talking pig,The Gatewayand the House voted to renew the Patriot Act.CNN.comA New Zealand miner drowned in a flooded shaft,Stuff.co.nzand photographer and director Gordon Parks died.The Washington PostAfter 213 years as a nonprofit, the New York Stock Exchange became a public company.The New York TimesA new species of blind, furry, lobster-like crustaceans was discovered in the South Pacific.CNN.com

Former Texas Governor Ann Richards announced that she had been diagnosed with cancer.AP via Yahoo! NewsTom DeLay (R., Tex.) won the Republicanprimary for his congressional seat,Capitol Hill Blueand scientists were investigating a family of mentally retarded Kurds in Turkey who walk on all fours. “However they arrived at this point,” said a scientist, “we have adult human beings walking like ancestors several million years ago.”Time-warp family who walk on all foursThe House passed legislation that, if approved in the Senate, will make it far more difficult for states to put warning labels on food; under the new rules all warnings will be approved by the Food and Drug Administration. “What’s wrong,” asked Representative Henry Waxman (D., Calif.), “with our system of federalism?”Canada.comBritain planned to kill one third of its wild badger population–about 100,000 badgers–in order to slow the spread of bovinetuberculosis; critics of the plan argued that slaughtering badgers will speed the spread of bovine tuberculosis.The GuardianMad cow disease was found in Alabama,The New York Timeswhere three college students were arrested for setting nine churches on fire. One of the students, Benjamin Moseley, was planning to appear in a school theater production called “Young Zombies in Love.”The New York TimesA sociology professor at Suffolk University, Boston, was suspended after being caught browsing Internetporn sites while teaching a class; he was unaware that his computer was connected to a display behind him.7News BostonIn Licking County, Ohio, a man was accused of making 2,623 obscene phone calls over 20 days,SFGate.comand in Arizona a 52-year-old Deputy Fire Chief named Leroy Johnson was seen dragging a lamb into a neighbor’s barn. The lamb??s owner, Alan Goats, entered the barn to confront Johnson. “You caught me, Alan,” said Johnson, zipping up his wet pants. “I tried to fuck your sheep.” Police described the victim as small, gray, three feet tall, and four feet long.The Smoking GunTwo British preschools were criticized for having children sing “Baa baa rainbow sheep.” “There are much better ways,” said a representative of another preschool, “of addressing these issues.”BBC NewsDetails from recently released Guantánamo Bay transcripts continued to emerge. “We lost our goats,” explained one prisoner. “That’s why we were looking through binoculars.”The Christian Science MonitorYanni was arrested for allegedly hitting his girlfriend.The Smoking Gun

The Cassini spacecraft, said NASA, found what appeared to be water on Saturn’s moon Enceladus.The Washington PostThe Nigerian government, hoping to avoid the panic and rioting that broke out during the eclipse of 2001, warned its citizens that they may experience “psychological discomfort” during the eclipse of March 29.Reuters via Yahoo! NewsSlobodan Milosevic died of a heart attack in prison at the Hague; it was unclear whether his death was a murder, a suicide, or from natural causes.Bloomberg NewsVenezuela debuted a new flag. “The white horse,” explained President Hugo Chavez, “is now liberated, free, vigorous, trotting toward the left.”CNN.comIn Chicago between 300,000 and 500,000 people marched to protest a House bill that calls for increased border protection to limit immigration,CBS2Chicago.netand Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano ordered more soldiers to patrol the Mexican border. “We are not,” she said, “at war with Mexico.”The Washington PostTwo more bodies from the Hurricane Katrina disaster were found in New Orleans.ABC News OnlineA Dutchstudy found that 50 percent of the products returned to stores for malfunctions actually work fine but are just too complicated to use.ReutersAl Qaeda was communicating via social networking website MySpace.com,ABC Newsand a Pentagon-funded medical consortium, researching techniques to regenerate body parts, was hoping to create a working finger within five years.The Charlotte Observer

Share
Single Page

More from Paul Ford:

From the May 2010 issue

Just like heaven

Weekly Review March 23, 2010, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Weekly Review November 24, 2009, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Get access to 165 years of
Harper’s for only $45.99

United States Canada

CATEGORIES

THE CURRENT ISSUE

March 2016

Save Our Public Universities

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

The Rogue Agency

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Mad Magazines

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Killer Bunny in the Sky

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Bird in a Cage

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

The Hidden Rivers of Brooklyn

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

view Table Content

FEATURED ON HARPERS.ORG

Article
Save Our Public Universities·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“Whether and how we educate people is still a direct reflection of the degree of freedom we expect them to have, or want them to have.”
Photograph (crop) by Thomas Allen
Article
New Movies·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

The Force Awakens criticizes American imperialism while also celebrating the revolutionary spirit that founded this country. When the movie needs to bridge the two points of view, it shifts to aerial combat, a default setting that mirrors the war on terror all too well.”
Still © Lucasfilm
Article
Isn’t It Romantic?·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“He had paid for much of her schooling, something he cannot help but mention, since the aftermath of any failed relationship brings an ungenerous and impossible impulse to claw back one’s misspent resources.”
Illustration by Shonagh Rae
Article
The Trouble with Iowa·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“It seems to defy reason that this anachronistic farm state — a demographic outlier, with no major cities and just 3 million people, nine out of ten of them white — should play such an outsized role in American politics.”
Photograph (detail) © Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
Article
Rule, Britannica·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“This is the strange magic of an arrangement of all the world’s knowledge in alphabetical order: any search for anything passes through things that have nothing in common with it but an initial letter.”
Artwork by Brian Dettmer. Courtesy the artist and P.P.O.W., New York City.

Number of people who attended the World Grits Festival, held in St. George, South Carolina, last spring:

60,000

The brown bears of Greece continued chewing through telephone poles.

In Peru, a 51-year-old activist became the first former sex worker to run for the national legislature. “I’m going to put order,” she said, “in that big brothel which is Congress.”

Subscribe to the Weekly Review newsletter. Don’t worry, we won’t sell your email address!

HARPER’S FINEST

Two Christmas Mornings of the Great War

By

Civilization masks us with a screen, from ourselves and from one another, with thin depth of unreality. We habitually live — do we not? — in a world self-created, half established, of false values arbitrarily upheld, largely inspired by misconception, misapprehension, wrong perspective, and defective proportion, misapplication.

Subscribe Today