Weekly Review — March 14, 2006, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

[Image: A Humbug, December 1853]

The U.S. State Department issued a report criticizing human rights abuses in China, North Korea, Iran, and Cuba. It also criticized the rights records of Jordan and Egypt, two countries where the United States has sent detainees to be interrogated. The report noted that the United States’ “own journey towards liberty and justice for all has been long and difficult,” and is “far from complete.”The New York TimesThe IndependentA bombing at a Shiite market in Sadr City, Iraq, killed at least 50 people; Shiite vigilantes responded by abducting four men, beating and executing them, and hanging them from lampposts.The New York TimesIn Baghdad 37 corpses were found, including 18 bodies stacked in a minibus. The corpse of American peace activist Tom Fox was found in a trash heap in western Baghdad; Fox and three other members of Christian Peacemaker Teams had been kidnapped in November 2005 by the Swords of Righteousness Brigade.The New York TimesThe New York TimesThe Iraqi government hanged 13 insurgents,AP via Yahoo! Newsand it was reported that Iraq’sShiite party had ordered the Health Ministry to stop recording deaths that resulted from execution-style shootings.The Washington PostAmericans had nearly $800 billion in credit-card debt.TribStar.comU.S. Treasury Secretary John Snow warned Congress that the United States was about to exceed its debt limit of $8.2 trillion,The Toronto Starand a five-year study into alternative methods of managing hog waste produced no feasible alternative to the current practice of filling massive lagoons with excrement.WRAL.comIn rural Nepal fathers were being paid in piglets if they agreed not to sell their daughters into servitude,The Christian Science Monitorand a farmer in Germany said that he got the idea of feeding a friend’s corpse to pigs from a lecture about Buddhism.MSNBCThe Sheaf, a University of Saskatchewan campus newspaper, was criticized for publishing a cartoon showing Jesus Christfellating a talking pig,The Gatewayand the House voted to renew the Patriot Act.CNN.comA New Zealand miner drowned in a flooded shaft,Stuff.co.nzand photographer and director Gordon Parks died.The Washington PostAfter 213 years as a nonprofit, the New York Stock Exchange became a public company.The New York TimesA new species of blind, furry, lobster-like crustaceans was discovered in the South Pacific.CNN.com

Former Texas Governor Ann Richards announced that she had been diagnosed with cancer.AP via Yahoo! NewsTom DeLay (R., Tex.) won the Republicanprimary for his congressional seat,Capitol Hill Blueand scientists were investigating a family of mentally retarded Kurds in Turkey who walk on all fours. “However they arrived at this point,” said a scientist, “we have adult human beings walking like ancestors several million years ago.”Time-warp family who walk on all foursThe House passed legislation that, if approved in the Senate, will make it far more difficult for states to put warning labels on food; under the new rules all warnings will be approved by the Food and Drug Administration. “What’s wrong,” asked Representative Henry Waxman (D., Calif.), “with our system of federalism?”Canada.comBritain planned to kill one third of its wild badger population–about 100,000 badgers–in order to slow the spread of bovinetuberculosis; critics of the plan argued that slaughtering badgers will speed the spread of bovine tuberculosis.The GuardianMad cow disease was found in Alabama,The New York Timeswhere three college students were arrested for setting nine churches on fire. One of the students, Benjamin Moseley, was planning to appear in a school theater production called “Young Zombies in Love.”The New York TimesA sociology professor at Suffolk University, Boston, was suspended after being caught browsing Internetporn sites while teaching a class; he was unaware that his computer was connected to a display behind him.7News BostonIn Licking County, Ohio, a man was accused of making 2,623 obscene phone calls over 20 days,SFGate.comand in Arizona a 52-year-old Deputy Fire Chief named Leroy Johnson was seen dragging a lamb into a neighbor’s barn. The lambâ??s owner, Alan Goats, entered the barn to confront Johnson. “You caught me, Alan,” said Johnson, zipping up his wet pants. “I tried to fuck your sheep.” Police described the victim as small, gray, three feet tall, and four feet long.The Smoking GunTwo British preschools were criticized for having children sing “Baa baa rainbow sheep.” “There are much better ways,” said a representative of another preschool, “of addressing these issues.”BBC NewsDetails from recently released Guantánamo Bay transcripts continued to emerge. “We lost our goats,” explained one prisoner. “That’s why we were looking through binoculars.”The Christian Science MonitorYanni was arrested for allegedly hitting his girlfriend.The Smoking Gun

The Cassini spacecraft, said NASA, found what appeared to be water on Saturn’s moon Enceladus.The Washington PostThe Nigerian government, hoping to avoid the panic and rioting that broke out during the eclipse of 2001, warned its citizens that they may experience “psychological discomfort” during the eclipse of March 29.Reuters via Yahoo! NewsSlobodan Milosevic died of a heart attack in prison at the Hague; it was unclear whether his death was a murder, a suicide, or from natural causes.Bloomberg NewsVenezuela debuted a new flag. “The white horse,” explained President Hugo Chavez, “is now liberated, free, vigorous, trotting toward the left.”CNN.comIn Chicago between 300,000 and 500,000 people marched to protest a House bill that calls for increased border protection to limit immigration,CBS2Chicago.netand Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano ordered more soldiers to patrol the Mexican border. “We are not,” she said, “at war with Mexico.”The Washington PostTwo more bodies from the Hurricane Katrina disaster were found in New Orleans.ABC News OnlineA Dutchstudy found that 50 percent of the products returned to stores for malfunctions actually work fine but are just too complicated to use.ReutersAl Qaeda was communicating via social networking website MySpace.com,ABC Newsand a Pentagon-funded medical consortium, researching techniques to regenerate body parts, was hoping to create a working finger within five years.The Charlotte Observer

Share
Single Page

More from Paul Ford:

From the May 2010 issue

Just like heaven

Weekly Review March 23, 2010, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Weekly Review November 24, 2009, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Get access to 165 years of
Harper’s for only $45.99

United States Canada

CATEGORIES

THE CURRENT ISSUE

September 2016

Tearing Up the Map

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Land of Sod

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Only an Apocalypse Can Save Us Now

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

The Watchmen

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Acceptable Losses

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Home

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

view Table Content

FEATURED ON HARPERS.ORG

Post
 
Andrew Cockburn on the Saudi slaughter in Yemen, Alan Jacobs on the disappearance of Christian intellectuals, a forum on a post-Obama foreign policy, a story by Alice McDermott, and more
Artwork by Ingo Günther
Article
Land of Sod·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Just a few short years ago, Yemen was judged to be among the poorest countries in the world, ranking 154th out of the 187 nations on the U.N.’s Human Development Index. One in every five Yemenis went hungry. Almost one in three was unemployed. Every year, 40,000 children died before their fifth birthday, and experts predicted the country would soon run out of water.

Photograph by Mike Slack
Article
The Watchmen·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Just a few short years ago, Yemen was judged to be among the poorest countries in the world, ranking 154th out of the 187 nations on the U.N.’s Human Development Index. One in every five Yemenis went hungry. Almost one in three was unemployed. Every year, 40,000 children died before their fifth birthday, and experts predicted the country would soon run out of water.

Illustration by John Ritter
Article
Acceptable Losses·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Just a few short years ago, Yemen was judged to be among the poorest countries in the world, ranking 154th out of the 187 nations on the U.N.’s Human Development Index. One in every five Yemenis went hungry. Almost one in three was unemployed. Every year, 40,000 children died before their fifth birthday, and experts predicted the country would soon run out of water.

Photograph by Alex Potter
Article
The Origins of Speech·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

"To Chomsky...every child’s language organ could use the 'deep structure,' 'universal grammar,' and 'language acquisition device' he was born with to express what he had to say, no matter whether it came out of his mouth in English or Urdu or Nagamese."
Illustration (detail) by Darrel Rees. Source photograph © Miroslav Dakov/Alamy Live News

Chances that college students select as “most desirable‚” the same face chosen by the chickens:

49 in 50

Most of the United States’ 36,000 yearly bunk-bed injuries involve male victims.

In Italy, a legislator called for parents who feed their children vegan diets to be sentenced to up to six years in prison, and in Sweden, a woman attempted to vindicate her theft of six pairs of underwear by claiming she had severe diarrhea.

Subscribe to the Weekly Review newsletter. Don’t worry, we won’t sell your email address!

HARPER’S FINEST

Mississippi Drift

By

“Matt was happy enough to sustain himself on the detritus of a world he saw as careening toward self-destruction, and equally happy to scam a government he despised. 'I’m glad everyone’s so wasteful,' he told me. 'It supports my lifestyle.'”

Subscribe Today