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Iran announced that it had successfully produced low-grade enriched uranium; to celebrate, men in traditional dress danced with uranium samples.Reuters via Yahoo! NewsThe Iranian government also promised to give $50 million to the Palestinian Authority, now controlled by Hamas, which let it be known that it would recognize Israel’s right to exist if the Jewish state were to withdraw from the entire West Bank, East Jerusalem, and Gaza. CNN.comDemocracy Now!A suicide bomber killed nine people at a falafel restaurant in Tel Aviv,The New York Timesand in Sri Lanka bomb attacks by Tamil rebels killed 16 people.BBC NewsAt least five U.S. soldiers were killed in Iraq, and a car bombing in Baquba killed 27 people.The New York TimesXinhua.netSome Iraqis were changing their names to avoid being identified as either Sunni or Shiite. “[I] don’t want my children to die,” said the Shiite father of Ali, Hassan, and Fatima, “just because of their names.”Reuters via Yahoo! NewsClose to 65,000 Iraqis had fled their homes to avoid sectarian violence,BBC Newsand six former U.S. generals called for Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to resign.The AgeIt was reported that Rumsfeld was “personally involved” in the torture of GuantĂˇnamo Bay detainee Mohamed al-Qahtani, who was made to perform “dog tricks”; Rumsfeld was allegedly briefed on the progress of al-Qahtani’s interrogations by phone.The AgeVice President Dick Cheney, who will receive a $1.9 million refund on his 2005 taxes, was booed at a Washington Nationals baseball game, where he threw out the first pitch. “I have never, ever,” said one fan, “heard anyone get booed like that man.”The Washington TimesThe Mercury NewsPeace activist William Sloane Coffin The Seattle Timesand author Muriel Spark died,The Heraldand Tiger Woods apologized for calling himself a spaz.Reuters via Yahoo! News
Officials in Afghanistan said that 41 Taliban and six police officers had been killed in fighting in the Helmand province; a Taliban spokesman claimed 15 Afghan police and one Taliban were killed.Al JazeeraIt was revealed that the U.S. military had mounted a propaganda campaign, targeting Iraq and the United States, intended to make Abu Muab al-Zarqawi, the Jordanian leader (or possibly former leader) of Al Qaeda in Iraq, appear more powerful than he is. One document describing the campaign was called “Villainize Zarqawi/leverage xenophobia response.”The Washington PostA poll found that 63 percent of Americans were “absolutely certain” of the physical resurrection of Jesus Christ.The Washington PostOther polls found: that 55 percent of Americans want a Massachusetts-style health care law;ABC Newsthat 52 percent of Americans would give up some tax deductions for a simpler tax code;Asbury Park Pressthat 51 percent of Americans oppose gay marriage (the same percentage that thinks illegal immigrants mostly contribute to American society);HoustonVoice.comTimes-Heraldand that 46 percent of Americans use profanity more than twice a week.TMCNetFurther polls found that 90 percent of Americans believe their peers are too fat, but only 40 percent believe they are too fat themselves,The Sydney Morning Heraldand that nearly three quarters of 10- to 13-year-old Americans like quesadillas.SFGate.comSixty-two percent of Mexicans polled agreed that the United States is wealthy because it exploits others.El Universal Online
An audit found that FEMA misspent at least $1 billion in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina,Democracy Now!and theater programs for the deaf, operating on a shoestring, were trying to figure out who in Congress cut their $2 million in federal funding in December 2004.The New York TimesIn Italy, Bernardo Provenzano, also called The Tractor, the alleged head of the Italian mafia, was arrested near Corleone in Sicily.BBC NewsPrime Minister Silvio Berlusconi refused to admit that he had lost his seat to Romano Prodi; Prodi urged Berlusconi to admit defeat.BBC NewsRoger Toussaint, the head of the Transport Workers Union in New York City, was sentenced to 10 days in jail for leading a transit strike in December 2005.NewsdayIn Athens, Georgia, several agents from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms briefly detained a University of Georgia student who was dressed as a ninja. “Seeing someone with something across the face,” said a special agent, “from a federal standpointâ??that’s not right.” The student said he was leaving a pirate vs. ninja event.RedAndBlack.comIn London, a woman’s skeletal remains were found two years after her death, propped in front of a still-on TV. “I did notice a kind of rotten smell,” said a neighbor, “but the bins downstairs are strong and the stairwells smell with junkies.” BBC NewsFormer Illinois Governor George Ryan was convicted of racketeering,and in Purcell, Oklahoma, a man named Kevin Ray Underwood was arrested for killing a 10-year-old girl named Jamie Rose Bolin. “I chopped her up,” he told police. “Regarding a potential motive,” said a police chief, “this appears to have been part of a plan to kidnap a person, rape them, torture them, kill them, cut off their head, drain the body of blood, rape the corpse, eat the corpse, then dispose of the organs and bones.” The police also announced that they had removed skewers and a meat tenderizer from Underwood’s apartment.Winston-Salem JournalResearchers in Africa discovered a catfish that stretches out of the water to eat land animals,NaturePrince Albert of Monaco reached the North Pole,BBC Newsand scientists in Britainfound that human fetuses cannot feel pain.BBC News
More from Paul Ford:
Amount British Nuclear Fuels paid the British Scouts last year to add its logo to their scientist badge:
Roughly 80 percent of U.S. cocaine was thought to be contaminated with a drug that causes skin tissues to rot.
Ohio was judged to be the most profane state.
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