Weekly Review — January 9, 2007, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

[Image: The Cloaca Maxima, 1872]
The Cloaca Maxima, 1872

The 110th Congress convened on Capitol Hill, and Representative Nancy Pelosi of California kicked off her tenure as America’s first female speaker of the House with four days of parties dubbed “Pelosi-Palooza.” The festivities included a performance by singer Tony Bennett and an honorary street-naming in Pelosi’s hometown of Baltimore. Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia disrupted the Congress’s opening prayer with shouts of “Yes, Lord!” and “Mmmhmmm!” and Senator Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts mimed tipping a bottle to his mouth. Congress’s first Muslim member took his oath on a Koran once owned by Thomas Jefferson, and a Buddhist representative swore in on no book at all.Washington PostWashington PostCBS NewsAZ CentralThe inauguration of Governor Eliot Spitzer of New York was celebrated with a twelve-liter bottle of Veuve Clicquot that required a wrench to uncork and bloodied the hand of its opener,New York Timesand concerns about terrorism prompted Governor Jim Gibbons of Nevada to take his oath shortly after midnight on New Year’s despite the admitted absence of any known threat. AP via San Diego Union-TribuneFormer President George Herbert Walker Bush imitated the comedian Dana Carvey imitating himself at a service for the late President Gerald Ford. New York TimesNewly released FBI files revealed that the late Chief Justice William Rehnquist checked into a hospital for sedative dependency in 1981. During his rehabilitation, Rehnquist spoke of “a CIA plot against him” and tried to escape from the hospital clad in his pajamas. Washington PostAfter two centuries without Congressional representation, it appeared that residents of Washington, D.C. might get a vote.AP via Boston Globe

Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki announced that he would not be seeking a second term. “I didn’t want to take this position,” said al-Maliki. “I wish it could be done with even before the end of this term.” InTheNewsGrandmothers gathered in Times Square to hold a vigil for the 3,000 U.S. soldiers who have died in Iraq,.AP via International Herald Tribuneand the Army apologized for sending letters to officers killed in action urging them to reenlist.CNNIraqi security guards were arrested for taking illegal cell phone footage of Shiite officials taunting Saddam Hussein before he was hanged. President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt called images of the execution “revolting and barbaric,” and Libya announced its intention to erect a statue of Hussein on the gallows. Master Sgt. Robert Ellis, a senior medical adviser responsible for Hussein’s care in Baghdad, praised the stoicism displayed by Hussein. “Saddam,” he said, “was gangsta.” A Texas 10-year-old who had seen video footage of the execution died after hanging himself from his bunk bed.ABC NewsDer Spiegel STL TodayReuters via MSNBC

Armenian politicians were accused of buying votes with potatoes,Telegraphand King Abdullah II of Jordan complained that odors from an Israeli livestock facility were wafting into his palace on the Red Sea.AP via HaaretzScientists were performing experiments to turn gaysheep straight.Daily TelegraphA two-faced calf was born on a farm in Virginia. “Genetically, this is one of my better calves,” said its owner.AP via Yahoo! NewsThe FDA approved Slentrol, a weight loss drug for dogs.USA TodayLocal police claimed ownership of a rare meteorite that crashed through the roof of a New Jersey family’s house, and United Airlines employees claimed to have seen a saucer-like object hovering over O’Hare Airport last fall.AP via Yahoo! NewsA woman watching New Year’s fireworks in Florida avoided serious injury when a shot fired into the air glanced off the golden strap of her “very cheap” brassiere.AP via Yahoo! NewsIn Jonesboro, Arkansas, a kindergartener brought a gun to school;KAITin Sydney, Australia, feuding families armed with knives, baseball bats, metal poles, planks, branches, cricket bats, pick handles, screwdrivers, golf clubs, curtain rods and glass bottles rumbled;Daily Telegraphand in Houston, Texas, the lawyer for a teenager whose forehead contains a subpoenaed 9mm bullet said that his client would allow the bullet to be removed as long as he is not charged with capital murder.AP via Star TelegramShooting threatened to replace golf as U.K. executives’ social networking sport of choice.The TimesA study found that American workers were receiving the “silent treatment” from angry bosses, AP via Yahoo! Newsand the nation of Qatar appeared to have been blocked from editing Wikipedia.The Lede (New York Times)A British man died of a heart attack when ambulance crews could not be dispatched because they were on an E.U.-mandated lunch break,The Sunand a lawyer representing a French prisoner who ripped out and ate the lung of a fellow inmate said his client had been denied a request for isolation.Daily TelegraphIn New York City, a veteran saved a teenager from an oncoming subway train by throwing himself over the boy’s body and keeping still as two cars passed inches above their heads. Mayor Michael Bloomberg presented the vet with a medal for civic achievement and one year of free bus and subway rides.Reuters via Yahoo! NewsSeattle parents defended their decision to stunt the growth of their brain-impaired 9-year-old daughter,LA Timesa man shot a thousand-pound wild hog in suburban Atlanta,AP via Yahoo! Newsand it was reported that an 80-year-old great-grandmother in Kentucky had killed her first deer on a hunt in November. “Ka-powie!” said the woman. “Don’t stop doing things ’til you’re in the grave!”AP via Yahoo! News

Share
Single Page

More from Miriam Markowitz:

Weekly Review November 6, 2007, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Weekly Review October 2, 2007, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Weekly Review July 31, 2007, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Get access to 165 years of
Harper’s for only $45.99

United States Canada

CATEGORIES

THE CURRENT ISSUE

January 2017

The Monument Wars

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

The Trouble with Defectors

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Over the River

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

House Hunters Transnational

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

The Lords of Lambeau

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

A Window To The World

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

view Table Content

FEATURED ON HARPERS.ORG

Post
Illustration (detail) by Lincoln Agnew
Article
Over the River·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Ashley arrived for her prenatal appointment at Black Hills Obstetrics and Gynecology, in Rapid City, South Dakota, wearing a black zip-up hoodie and Converse sneakers.1 To explain her absence from work that morning — a Tuesday in April 2015 — she had told a co-worker that she was having “female issues.” She was twenty-five years old and eight weeks pregnant. She had been separated from her husband, with whom she had a five-year-old son, for the better part of a year. The guy who’d gotten her pregnant was someone she’d met at the gym, and he’d made it abundantly clear that he wanted nothing more to do with her. Ashley found herself hoping that the doctor would discover some kind of fetal defect, so that her decision would be easier. She glanced across the waiting room at a television playing a birth-control ad and laughed darkly. “Jesus, Lord, it would be so nice if someone just pushed me down a flight of stairs.”

In the exam room, she perched on the table with her feet crossed at the ankles, her blond hair brushing the back of her pink hospital gown. “I don’t know what’s available for me here,” she told her doctor, Katherine Degen, who sat facing her on a stool. “I figured nothing.”

 Some names and identifying details have been changed. 

“Big, fat zero, unfortunately,” Degen said, making a 0 with her fingers. The last doctor who provided abortions in Rapid City retired in 1986, three years before Ashley was born.

The baby was due in November, when Ashley, who was a nurse, hoped to be enrolled in a graduate program to become a nurse practitioner. Getting pregnant as a teenager had forced her to put that dream on hold, but she had thought that she was finally ready; she had even submitted her application shortly before the March 15 deadline. For the first time in her adult life, Ashley felt as if her plans were coming together. Then she missed her period.

It would be too difficult to attend school as a single mother of two, Ashley knew. She had made an appointment for three weeks from now at the nearest abortion clinic, in Billings, Montana, 318 miles away. But just a week and a half ago, her husband had said he wanted to get back together and offered to raise the child as his own. Was it a sign that she was meant to continue the pregnancy? As a rule, Ashley approached her problems with resolve. She was capable and tough; she liked shooting guns and lifting weights. She kept track of her stats and checked off her goals as she achieved them one by one. Yet the dilemma before her had shaken her confidence. She leaned back and turned to watch the ultrasound screen. The black-and-white image danced. A sharp, fast thumping emerged from the machine. As Degen removed the wand, Ashley wiped the corner of her eye.

Photograph (detail) by Brian Frank
Article
A Window To The World·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Ashley arrived for her prenatal appointment at Black Hills Obstetrics and Gynecology, in Rapid City, South Dakota, wearing a black zip-up hoodie and Converse sneakers.1 To explain her absence from work that morning — a Tuesday in April 2015 — she had told a co-worker that she was having “female issues.” She was twenty-five years old and eight weeks pregnant. She had been separated from her husband, with whom she had a five-year-old son, for the better part of a year. The guy who’d gotten her pregnant was someone she’d met at the gym, and he’d made it abundantly clear that he wanted nothing more to do with her. Ashley found herself hoping that the doctor would discover some kind of fetal defect, so that her decision would be easier. She glanced across the waiting room at a television playing a birth-control ad and laughed darkly. “Jesus, Lord, it would be so nice if someone just pushed me down a flight of stairs.”

In the exam room, she perched on the table with her feet crossed at the ankles, her blond hair brushing the back of her pink hospital gown. “I don’t know what’s available for me here,” she told her doctor, Katherine Degen, who sat facing her on a stool. “I figured nothing.”

 Some names and identifying details have been changed. 

“Big, fat zero, unfortunately,” Degen said, making a 0 with her fingers. The last doctor who provided abortions in Rapid City retired in 1986, three years before Ashley was born.

The baby was due in November, when Ashley, who was a nurse, hoped to be enrolled in a graduate program to become a nurse practitioner. Getting pregnant as a teenager had forced her to put that dream on hold, but she had thought that she was finally ready; she had even submitted her application shortly before the March 15 deadline. For the first time in her adult life, Ashley felt as if her plans were coming together. Then she missed her period.

It would be too difficult to attend school as a single mother of two, Ashley knew. She had made an appointment for three weeks from now at the nearest abortion clinic, in Billings, Montana, 318 miles away. But just a week and a half ago, her husband had said he wanted to get back together and offered to raise the child as his own. Was it a sign that she was meant to continue the pregnancy? As a rule, Ashley approached her problems with resolve. She was capable and tough; she liked shooting guns and lifting weights. She kept track of her stats and checked off her goals as she achieved them one by one. Yet the dilemma before her had shaken her confidence. She leaned back and turned to watch the ultrasound screen. The black-and-white image danced. A sharp, fast thumping emerged from the machine. As Degen removed the wand, Ashley wiped the corner of her eye.

Artwork by Imre Kinszki © Imre Kinszki Estate
Article
The Lords of Lambeau·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Ashley arrived for her prenatal appointment at Black Hills Obstetrics and Gynecology, in Rapid City, South Dakota, wearing a black zip-up hoodie and Converse sneakers.1 To explain her absence from work that morning — a Tuesday in April 2015 — she had told a co-worker that she was having “female issues.” She was twenty-five years old and eight weeks pregnant. She had been separated from her husband, with whom she had a five-year-old son, for the better part of a year. The guy who’d gotten her pregnant was someone she’d met at the gym, and he’d made it abundantly clear that he wanted nothing more to do with her. Ashley found herself hoping that the doctor would discover some kind of fetal defect, so that her decision would be easier. She glanced across the waiting room at a television playing a birth-control ad and laughed darkly. “Jesus, Lord, it would be so nice if someone just pushed me down a flight of stairs.”

In the exam room, she perched on the table with her feet crossed at the ankles, her blond hair brushing the back of her pink hospital gown. “I don’t know what’s available for me here,” she told her doctor, Katherine Degen, who sat facing her on a stool. “I figured nothing.”

 Some names and identifying details have been changed. 

“Big, fat zero, unfortunately,” Degen said, making a 0 with her fingers. The last doctor who provided abortions in Rapid City retired in 1986, three years before Ashley was born.

The baby was due in November, when Ashley, who was a nurse, hoped to be enrolled in a graduate program to become a nurse practitioner. Getting pregnant as a teenager had forced her to put that dream on hold, but she had thought that she was finally ready; she had even submitted her application shortly before the March 15 deadline. For the first time in her adult life, Ashley felt as if her plans were coming together. Then she missed her period.

It would be too difficult to attend school as a single mother of two, Ashley knew. She had made an appointment for three weeks from now at the nearest abortion clinic, in Billings, Montana, 318 miles away. But just a week and a half ago, her husband had said he wanted to get back together and offered to raise the child as his own. Was it a sign that she was meant to continue the pregnancy? As a rule, Ashley approached her problems with resolve. She was capable and tough; she liked shooting guns and lifting weights. She kept track of her stats and checked off her goals as she achieved them one by one. Yet the dilemma before her had shaken her confidence. She leaned back and turned to watch the ultrasound screen. The black-and-white image danced. A sharp, fast thumping emerged from the machine. As Degen removed the wand, Ashley wiped the corner of her eye.

Photograph (detail) by Balazs Gardi
Article
With Child·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

"She glanced across the waiting room at a television playing a birth-control ad and laughed darkly. 'Jesus, Lord, it would be so nice if someone just pushed me down a flight of stairs.'"
Photograph (detail) by Lara Shipley

Tons of hair Poland exports annually to West Germany in exchange for barber equipment:

100

Alcoholic mice who are forced to stop drinking no longer try to swim when placed in a beaker of water, perhaps indicating that the mice are depressed.

One of the United Kingdom’s largest landlords published guidelines banning “battered wives” and plumbers, among others, from renting his more than 1,000 properties. “It’s just economics,” he said.

Subscribe to the Weekly Review newsletter. Don’t worry, we won’t sell your email address!

HARPER’S FINEST

Who Goes Nazi?

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

By

"It is an interesting and somewhat macabre parlor game to play at a large gathering of one’s acquaintances: to speculate who in a showdown would go Nazi. By now, I think I know. I have gone through the experience many times—in Germany, in Austria, and in France. I have come to know the types: the born Nazis, the Nazis whom democracy itself has created, the certain-to-be fellow-travelers. And I also know those who never, under any conceivable circumstances, would become Nazis."

Subscribe Today