No Comment — July 31, 2007, 6:37 am

‘Bama Media Suck-Up Watch: Boot-Licking Good

Not since Elisabeth Bumiller wrote her famous ode to the threadcount of Dubya’s pillows in the hallowed pages of the New York Times have I seen something quite capable of competing with this. For a few weeks now, I have been pointing out the similarity of the Alabama Newhouse papers (especially the B’ham News and Mobile Press Register) to the Soviet press of the pre-Gorbachev age. They are the golden voice of the Alabama GOP, presenting the world in politically flavored terms, start to finish. But yesterday, the coverage took a turn into territory that tops anything I ever remember in the Soviet press. Now the ’Bama mainstream papers are moving into decidedly North Korean territory. And under the heading of absurd political suck-up to GOP power brokers, what could top this piece which ran yesterday in both the Birmingham News and the Mobile Press-Register adulating Governor Bob Riley as a lovable man of the people:

Gov. Bob Riley doesn’t leave home without his cowboy boots. The owner of about a dozen pairs — all size 12 — Riley wears cowboy boots every day and almost everywhere. He’s worn boots to areas damaged by tornadoes, to his daughters’ weddings, to news conferences, fund-raisers, speeches and international economic recruiting trips. In April, he hosted a delegation from the Hubei Provincial People’s Congress of China wearing a black alligator pair.

Cowboy boots are the staple of Riley’s wardrobe. “I had all my tuxedoes and my suits tailored for a pair of boots,” Riley said. “Actually, that’s when I wear the alligator most of the time. They are as formal as any dress shoe you will ever buy.”

The cowboy boot — the most iconic of American footwear — had its origins in the poorly made Civil War cavalry boots, according to Jennifer June, author of “Cowboy Boots: The Art & Sole.” Some shoe historians attribute the origins of western bootmaking to the constant repair work required by this repurposed military footwear, June wrote. Bootmakers designed the cowboy boot to meet the needs of someone working in stirrups, she wrote.

Here’s an exercise. Read the entire piece substituting the words “Beloved Leader” for Riley. Now, doesn’t that work better? Recommended art: a socialist realism scene, Riley surrounded by adoring children, bringing him flowers. And they’ve thoughtfully provided Riley’s boot size, so admirers out there can give Riley a favorite pair (be sure it’s alligator, too). Don’t worry about these gifts being seen as political bribes, when extended with request for favors. Riley is a Republican.

There isn’t any news in the B’ham News, but, oh my, there sure is a lot of boot-licking.

Share
Single Page

More from Scott Horton:

From the April 2015 issue

Company Men

Torture, treachery, and the CIA

Six Questions October 18, 2014, 8:00 pm

The APA Grapples with Its Torture Demons: Six Questions for Nathaniel Raymond

Nathaniel Raymond on CIA interrogation techniques.

No Comment, Six Questions June 4, 2014, 8:00 am

Uncovering the Cover Ups: Death Camp in Delta

Mark Denbeaux on the NCIS cover-up of three “suicides” at Guantánamo Bay Detention Camp

Get access to 164 years of
Harper’s for only $39.99

United States Canada

CATEGORIES

THE CURRENT ISSUE

April 2015

The Joke

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Abolish High School

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Beat Reporter

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Going It Alone

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Rotten Ice

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Life After Guantánamo

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

view Table Content

FEATURED ON HARPERS.ORG

[Browsings]
Photograph by the author
Article
Rotten Ice·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“When I asked if we were going to die, he smiled and said, ‘Imaqa.’ Maybe.”
Photograph © Kari Medig
Article
Life After Guantánamo·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“I’ve seen the hell and I’m still in the beginning of my life.”
Illustration by Caroline Gamon
Article
Going It Alone·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“The call to solitude is universal. It requires no cloister walls and no administrative bureaucracy, only the commitment to sit down and still ourselves to our particular aloneness.”
Photograph by Richard Misrach
Article
No Slant to the Sun·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“She didn’t speak the language, beyond “¿cuánto?” and “demasiado,” but that didn’t stop her. She wanted things. She wanted life, new experiences, a change in the routine.”
Photograph © Stuart Franklin/Magnum Photos

Acreage of a Christian nudist colony under development in Florida:

240

Florida’s wildlife officials decided to remove the manatee, which has a mild taste that readily adapts to recipes for beef, from the state’s endangered-species list.

A 64-year-old mother and her 44-year-old son were arrested for running a gang that stole more than $100,000 worth of toothbrushes from Publix, Walmart, Walgreens, and CVS stores in Florida.

Subscribe to the Weekly Review newsletter. Don’t worry, we won’t sell your email address!

HARPER’S FINEST

Driving Mr. Albert

By

He could be one of a million beach-bound, black-socked Florida retirees, not the man who, by some odd happenstance of life, possesses the brain of Albert Einstein — literally cut it out of the dead scientist's head.

Subscribe Today