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President George W. Bush predicted a “nuclear holocaust” if Iran develops weapons of mass destruction and accused the country of undertaking “murderous activities in Iraq”; Iran’s foreign minister described Bush’s comments as a sign of “political despair” caused by “a serious problem in creating propaganda for the next election.” BBCBBCBreitbart.com via Drudgereport.comBush announced his intention to found a “fantastic Freedom Institute” after he leaves office,NY Timesand two brothers survived in a collapsed Beijing coal mine for five days by eating coal and drinking their own urine. “You can only take small sips,” said Meng Xianchen, “and when you’ve finished, you just want to cry.”BBCSouth Korea was scandalized by resume cheats. “Before, we struggled more with fake luxury goods,” said Moon Moo-il, a prosecutor who combats credentials fraud. “Now that we have entered the knowledge-based society, we have to deal with an overflow of fake knowledge.” NY TimesThe Ugandan Interfaith Rainbow Coalition Against Homosexuality called on the government to uphold its laws against gays and lesbians,BBCand Kenya’s Anglican archbishop consecrated two homophobic American priests as bishops at a ceremony in Nairobi.NY TimesIndia’s Khasi tribespeople announced that they would honor Al Gore’s cinematic excellence at a “People’s Parliament” held in a sacred forest,BBCNubian militants in Sudan were organizing efforts “to get rid of the Arabs,” Los Angeles Timesand guitar player Bo Diddley suffered a heart attack.BBC
Republican presidential candidate Tom Tancredo marked the second anniversary of the Hurricane Katrina disaster by suggesting that the “gravy train” of “so-called ‘recovery'” should leave “the New Orleans station,”The Hill via Drudgereport.comand U.S. Representative Jon Porter (R., Nev.) warned that premature evacuation from Iraq would cause American gas prices to rise.ReviewJournal.com via Drudgereport.comGay marriage was legal in Iowa for four hours,NY TimesU.S. Senator Larry Craig (R., Idaho) insisted that he was “not gay” and had not ever “been gay,”NY Timesand the Alton, Texas, chief of police was arrested for making “unwelcomed” sexual advances toward two male employees.KGBTV.com via Nerve.comPrincess Diana had been dead for ten years.NY TimesTony Snow resigned as White House press secretary because the pay was too low,BloombergHomeland Security chief Michael Chertoff vowed to make employers who hire illegal immigrants “unhappy,”Washington Postand polling revealed that Democrats despise President Bush more than any other executive in history. “No one,” said Gary C. Jacobson, a political scientist at the University of California, San Diego, “comes close.”NY TimesCity officials in Houston, Texas, were investigating a “Ghetto Handbook” distributed by the local police to its officers. The booklet, subtitled “Wucha dun did now?” contained, among other items, a glossary that would enable the police to communicate “as if you just came out of the hood.” Terms defined in the glossary included “foty” for a 40-ounce bottle of beer; “aks” for “to ask a question”; and “hoodrat” for “a scummy girl.”Houston ChronicleAtlanta’s city council debated whether or not to outlaw baggy pants,Atlanta Journal ConstitutionNASA announced that none of its astronauts were guilty of flying a spacecraft while drunk, CNNand officials in Tarrytown, New York, installed suicide-prevention telephones on the Tappan Zee bridge.WCBSTVScientists in Louisiana determined that some obese people may be infected with a fat virus.MSNBC.com
A vegetable grower in Fresno, California, recalled 8,000 cartons of salmonella-tainted spinach,Washington PostWest Nile virus was discovered in Vermont,Rutland Heraldand a federal judge upheld New York City’s prohibition on metal baseball bats.NY TimesAnother elementary schoolâ??this one in Colorado Springs, Coloradoâ??banned tag.My Way NewsChina declared its one-child policy an environmental weapon in the fight against global warming,Alertnet.organd a wild male elephant burgled a circus in eastern India, making off with an attractive female elephant.Yahoo News via Nerve.comU.S. transportation horticulturalists were seeding the nation’s roadsides with asters, amsonia, and flowering white thoroughwort, among other wildflowers. NY TimesDeceased real estate mogul Leona Helmsley left a $12 million bequest to her dog, a small white Maltese named Trouble;New York Daily Newsreality-show personality Nicole Richie was released from jail in Los Angeles after serving 82 minutes for drunk driving.My Way NewsJohn Ashbery was named the poet laureate of MTV.NY Times
More from Theodore Ross:
It was a frigid winter, and the Manhattan loft was cold â€” very cold. Something was wrong with the gas line and there was no heat. In a corner, surrounding the bed, sheets had been hung from cords to form a de facto tent with a small electric heater running inside. But the oddities didnâ€™t end there: when I talked to the woman who lived in the loft about her work, she made me take the battery out of my cell phone and stash the device in her refrigerator. People who have dated in New York City for any length of time believe that theyâ€™ve seen everything â€” this was something new.
Our ongoing coverage of Donald Trump's presidency
Samuel Donkoh had just turned ten when he began to slip away. His brother Martin, two years his senior, first realized something was wrong during a game of soccer with a group of kids from the neighborhood. One minute Samuel was fine, dribbling the ball, and the next he was doubled over in spasms of laughter, as if reacting to a joke nobody else had heard. His teammates, baffled by the bizarre display, chuckled along with him, a response Samuel took for mockery. He grew threatening and belligerent, and Martin was forced to drag him home.
The final two contestants of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, held just outside Washington last May, had gone head-to-head for ten rounds. Nihar Janga, a toothy eleven-year-old with a bowl cut and the vocal pitch of a cartoon character, delighted the audience by breaking with custom: instead of asking the official pronouncer for definitions, he provided them himself. Taoiseach: â€śIs this an Irish prime minister?â€ť (Yes.) Biniou: â€śIs this a Breton bagpipe?â€ť (Right again.) His opponent, Jairam Hathwar, a stoic thirteen-year-old, had been favored to win, in large part because his older brother, Sriram, had won in 2014.
Mrs. Bâ€™s Baby Village Day Care was on a frontage road between a mattress wholesaler and a knife outlet. There were six or so babies as regulars and another one or two on weekends when their parents were passing through looking for work. They wouldnâ€™t find work, of course, all the security positions were full, the timber and ore had all been taken under the active-stewardship program, and the closest new start-up industry was the geothermal field hundreds of miles away. Mrs. B didnâ€™t even bother to write those babiesâ€™ names down in her book. It was fifteen dollars a day and they had to be in reasonable health. Even so the occasional mischievous illness would arise and empty the place out.
Amount Greeceâ€™s ruling Syriza party believes that Germany owes Greece in war reparations:
Americans of both sexes prefer the body odors of people with similar political beliefs.
Tens of thousands of people marched to promote science in cities across the world, and Trump issued an Earth Day statement in which he did not mention climate change.
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"It is an interesting and somewhat macabre parlor game to play at a large gathering of oneâ€™s acquaintances: to speculate who in a showdown would go Nazi. By now, I think I know. I have gone through the experience many timesâ€”in Germany, in Austria, and in France. I have come to know the types: the born Nazis, the Nazis whom democracy itself has created, the certain-to-be fellow-travelers. And I also know those who never, under any conceivable circumstances, would become Nazis."