Weekly Review — May 12, 2009, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

[Image: All In My Eye, December 1853]
An American cattleman.

After much bargaining with the largest banks in the United States,Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner announced the results of the Treasury’s “stress tests,” studies that estimate how the banks will fare if the economic crisis deepens. Ten banks, said Geithner, including Bank of America, Citibank, and Wells Fargo, must collectively raise $75 billion in extra capital by November; the rest, however, are fine. Analysts questioned Geithner’s conclusions, which assume a worst-case unemployment rate of 10.3 percent when the current rate is 8.9 percent, and which, after banks complained, ended up measuring bank-capital levels with standards more forgiving than expected; Bank of America’s potential capital deficit, for example, was finally pegged at merely $33.9 billion instead of the $50 billion initially projected.The Wall Street JournalNew York TimesNew York TimesPresident Barack Obama said that his staff went “line by line” through the $3.4 trillion federal budget and found 121 programs that could be cut to save taxpayers $17 billion, or half a percent of the budget’s total. Democratic lawmakers immediately protested the cuts, and Representative Maurice Hinchey (D., N.Y.) vowed to force the White House to accept delivery of a new presidential helicopter even though Obama says he doesn’t need or want it.Washington PostWashington PostThe U.S. Navy reported that 12 crewmembers aboard the amphibious transport ship USS Dubuque had been diagnosed with influenza A (H1N1), bringing the total number of U.S. cases of the flu to 1,600, with 2,500 cases reported worldwide in 25 countries. Afghanistan, despite having no cases of swine flu, took its only known pig, a gift from China named Khanzir (which means “pig”), away from the friendly goats and deer with which it grazed at Kabul Zoo and placed it in solitary confinement.CNNBBC

Maine recognized same-sex marriage, as did Washington, D.C., where the city council approved a bill by a 12 to 1 vote, with only former mayor Marion Barry dissenting. “All hell is going to break loose,” said Barry, who was once arrested for using crack cocaine. “We may have a civil war. The black community is just adamant against this.”Fox NewsWashington PostThe Simon Wiesenthal Center presented its 2009 Humanitarian Award to actor Will Smith,Haaretzand President Obama appeared at the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner. “I must confess,” he told the crowd, which included Robert De Niro, Natalie Portman, Sting, and Ludacris, “I really didn’t want to be here tonight. But I had to come. That’s one more problem I inherited from George Bush.” Obama also pointed out that Michelle Obama, by wearing a sleeveless dress, supported the “right to bare arms.”Washington PostSenator John Kerry attended a Senate subcommittee hearing on the future of journalism. “I see cacophony without standards,” he said. “I see more and more people operating in public life with snippets.”Washington PostPete Seeger turned 90.Open LeftPope Benedict XVI visited Israel, where he spoke of his support for a Palestinian state and Israeli president Shimon Peres presented him with an Old Testament that fits on the head of a pin.New York TimesNanowerkThe wife of Kenyan Prime Minister Ralia Odinga agreed to forgo sex with her husband as part of a national sex boycott intended to force government leaders to stop feuding, and Kenyan James Kimondo, denied conjugal rights by his boycotting wife, sued women’s rights groups for “stress, mental anguish, backaches, and lack of sleep.”Foreign PolicyCNN

Congolese government soldiers sodomized pygmies to gain supernatural powers,The Herald Sunand Marilyn French, author of the novel The Women’s Room, died. “All men are rapists,” she wrote, “and that’s all they are. They rape us with their eyes, their laws, and their codes.”The New York TimesThe price of oral sex from a prostitute in Russia had fallen to that of a sandwich and soda, and many Russian men were hiring hookers just for conversation.Washington PostMoscow schoolgirl Katya Kazakova, struck by stage fright, was unable to sing a patriotic song, “The Dug Out,” for Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, until Putin joined in. “The fire is pulsing in a cramped stove,” they sang together, Putin’s voice soft and melodious. “The resin on the firewood is like a tear.”BreitbartScientists in North Carolina announced a tiny medieval “rack,” or robotic bioreactor, that can stretch slivers of foreskin to twice their original size and may some day be used for skin grafts.The New ScientistJeff Kepner, a 57-year-old Georgian man who lost both his hands to a bacterial infection ten years ago, received the nation’s first double hand transplant,New York Timesand five months after her operation, Connie Culp, who was the first American to receive a full facial transplant, unveiled her new face, which–while squarish and floppy–is a drastic improvement over the old one after her husband blew it off with a shotgun in 2004.Washington PostA two-nosed Wisconsin cow named Lucy gave birth to a normal calf,WSAW.comand a New York Citycow named Molly broke free of her handlers on the way to the slaughterhouse and ran free through the streets of Queens. Molly’s owners, responding to public outcry, agreed to spare her and move her to Long Island, where she will live with a steer named Wexley. “He’s been neutered,” said Wexley’s owner, “so they are just going to have to be good friends.”New York Post

Share
Single Page

More from Claire Gutierrez:

Weekly Review May 31, 2011, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Weekly Review May 30, 2011, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Weekly Review March 22, 2011, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Get access to 164 years of
Harper’s for only $45.99

United States Canada

CATEGORIES

THE CURRENT ISSUE

May 2015

Black Hat, White Hat

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Beyond the Broken Window

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

In Search of a Stolen Fiddle

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Displaced in the D.R.

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

The Quietest Place in the Universe

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

view Table Content

FEATURED ON HARPERS.ORG

Article
Last month, the PEN America Center announced its intention to honor Charlie Hebdo with its Freedom of Expression Courage Award at a gala on May 5. Six members of the organization have withdrawn from the gala in protest. In "The Joke," Justin E. H. Smith addressed the Anglo-American left's response to the killings.
Photo of a Charlie Hebdo editorial meeting in 2006 by Jean-Francois/DEROUBAIX
Article
In Search of a Stolen Fiddle·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“To lose an instrument is to lose an essential piece of one’s identity. It brings its own solitary form of grief.”
Violin © Serge Picard/Agence VU
Post
Driving the San Joaquin Valley·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“Don sucked the last of his drink through his straw and licked his lips. 'The coast, to me, is more interesting than the valley.'”
Photograph by the author
Article
Othello’s Son·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Fred Morton, who died this week in Vienna, at the age of 90, was a longtime contributor to Harper's Magazine and a good friend. "Othello's Son," which was listed as a Notable Essay in Best American Essays 2013, appeared in our September 2013 issue.
Photograph © Alex Gotfryd/CORBIS
Article
Beyond the Broken Window·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“By the time Bratton left the department, in 2009, Los Angeles had quietly become the most spied-on city in America.”
Illustration by Taylor Callery

Weeks after the peso collapsed that former Mexican President Carlos Salinas de Gortari joined the board of Dow Jones:

4

A Disney behavioral ecologist announced that elephants’ long-range low-frequency vocal rumblings draw elephant friends together and drive elephant enemies apart.

A robot known as Random Darknet Shopper that was confiscated by Swiss police for purchasing ten ecstasy pills online was cleared of charges.

Subscribe to the Weekly Review newsletter. Don’t worry, we won’t sell your email address!

HARPER’S FINEST

Subways Are for Sleeping

By

“Shelby is waiting for something. He himself does not know what it is. When it comes he will either go back into the world from which he came, or sink out of sight in the morass of alcoholism or despair that has engulfed other vagrants.”

Subscribe Today