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The far-left Velvet Revolution has put a $200,000 bounty on the head of Chamber of Commerce CEO Tom Donohoe… Mr. Donohoe’s alleged crime– his outspoken opposition to government run health care and cap and trade legislation. Those who read the Good Book might be thinking, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone…” As a victim of far-left liberal vitriol, Mr. Donohoe is in good company. Truth has also become a victim of Obama Thumpers… While chasing you with lawyers, lies, and pitchforks, Obama Thumpers will call you every name in the book. If you don’t take kindly to their way of thinking, you might be a gun-toting redneck (I still haven’t figured out what’s wrong with that), a racist, radical, or terrorist; a right-wing extremist; paranoid, dangerous, or violent. You might even be akin to one of those awful folks who opposed civil rights. (Those would be mostly Democrats, by the way.) –“Obama Thumpers Running Amok,” Gina Perry, The Daily Sound
What’s the biggest misconception about Jewish women in the bedroom?
That they are prudes. Jewish woman are very hot, love to experiment, and always please their man. But they also demand to be pleased, as well.
I’m twenty-five and really interested in this sexy older guy at my gym. He’s about fifty. I want to ask him out, but I’m afraid he won’t take me seriously. What’s the best way to approach him without seeming like a silly little girl?
Are you kidding me? Any guy over the age of fifty will jump through hoops to go out with a younger woman! They live for that. That is their biggest fantasy as they get older. Trust me, he won’t say no.
There’s this really cute guy at my synagogue and I want to ask him out, but I only see him at services. What’s the best way to approach him there without being sacrilegious?
I don’t think G-d would mind. After all, HE would be making the shidoch! Go for it. It would be very KOSHER! –“Sex Advice from Jewish Mothers,” Nerve
Who was Al? None other than pornographer and former Screw magazine publisher Al Goldstein, who, after a fairly legendary career as the anti–Hugh Hefner, lost his magazine in 2003, went broke, became homeless, and now, aged 73 and divorced five times, lives in the Rockaways. In 1999, Giordano’s son-in-law, Daniel Clarin, had started an Internet porn business, making videos in two legal houses of prostitution owned by Giordano’s Caribbean partner. They met Goldstein at a porn convention. Goldstein later flew to St. Maarten, where he had a short-lived brothel, and agreed to meet with Giordano while he was there. “I wanted to get into [Internet gambling], because I thought porn wasn’t going to last—like it was a patient with cancer,” Goldstein tells the Voice. “Goldstein was a genius, so beyond eccentric that I didn’t know what the next word would be,” Giordano says. “Play With Al” was originally conceived as another porn site. But Giordano soon soured on the porn biz: “It’s a real dirty business,” he says. “This was not for me. I told Daniel that he could get involved in the Internet gaming business with me.” And that’s how PlaywithAl.com became a gambling site, even though Al himself wasn’t really involved. “I always liked him, but we didn’t end up in business together,” Goldstein says. –“The Rise and Fall of Internet Sports Bookie and Poker Pro James Giordano: From Bluff magazine to court, James Giordano was wired for success until Queens prosecutors captured him in their web,” Graham Rayman, The Village Voice
The family that gambles together does what else together?
Wassailling (aka Xmas for NYC hipsters too cool [and/or too Jewish] to just buy a tree)?
Or do they waste time writing “inane” Amazon.com book reviews?
Fleming awoke in the dark and his room felt loose, sloshing so badly he gripped the bed. From his window there was nothing but a hallway, and if he craned his neck, a blown lightbulb swung into view. The room pitched up and down and for a moment he thought he might be sick. The word “hallway” must have a nautical name. Why didn’t they supply a glossary for this cruise? Probably they had, in the welcome packet he’d failed to read. A glossary. A history of the boat, which would be referred to as a ship. Sunny biographies of the captain and crew, who had always dreamed of this life. Lobotomized histories of the islands they’d visit. Who else had sailed this way. Famous suckwads from the past, slicing through this very water on wooden longships.
A welcome packet, the literary genre most likely to succeed in the new millennium. Why not read about a community you don’t belong to, that doesn’t actually exist, a captain and crew who are, in reality, if that isn’t too much of a downer on your vacation, as indifferent to one another as any set of co-employees at an office or bank? Read doctored personal statements from underpaid crew members — because ocean life pays better than money! — who hate their lives but have been forced to buy into the mythology of working on a boat, separated now from loved ones and friends, growing lonelier by the second, even while they wait on you and follow your every order.
Average portion of its yearly household expenditures that a South African family will spend on a funeral:
Neuroscientists were hoping to use rat brain waves to find people buried by earthquakes.
Four people were arrested for using a remote-controlled hexacopter to fly two pounds of tobacco to prisoners inside the yard at Calhoun State Prison in Georgia.
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Our congratulations to Alice Munro, winner of the 2013 Nobel Prize for Literature