Weekly Review — December 8, 2009, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

[Image: A Tempest, December 1878]

President Barack Obama, after a meal of Chesapeake striped bass and mango sorbet, visited West Point and announced his plan to send 30,000 additional U.S. troops to Afghanistan in order to “deny Al Qaeda a safe haven,” “reverse the Taliban’s momentum,” and “strengthen the capacity of Afghanistan’s security forces and government”; and then, after eighteen months (more than a year before the 2012 election), to start withdrawing troops. Republicans in Congress worried that the announcement of a withdrawal date would allow the Taliban and Al Qaeda to plan for the American military’s departure, while Democrats questioned whether a significant drawdown in U.S. forces would actually occur. “Can any of you tell me, after July 2011, that we won’t have tens of thousands of troops years beyond that date?” asked Senator Robert Menendez, a Democrat from New Jersey. “We will have 100,000 forces, troops there,” Defense Secretary Robert Gates explained later in the week. “And they are not leaving in July of 2011. Some handful, or some small number, or whatever the conditions permit, will begin to withdraw at that time.” Representative Jeff Flake, a Republican from Arizona, suggested that the combined escalation and exit strategy was engineered to please critics. “There’s an old adage that a camel is a horse designed by committee,” Flake said. “This looks to be a policy designed by committee, a little something for everyone.” Hillary Clinton pointed out that camels are sturdy, ancient, and, though plodding, will get you where you need to go.The AtlanticNYTNYTNYTPolitico

The New York State Senate voted 38-24 to reject a bill that would have legalized same-sex marriage. “Certainly this is an emotional issue and an important issue for many New Yorkers,” Republican Tom Libous said. “I just don’t think the majority care too much about it.”NYTUganda prepared to pass a bill that would make life imprisonment the minimum sentence for gay sex. Under the proposed law, which gained support after prominent U.S. Christian evangelists held an anti-gay seminar in Kampala, repeat offenders can be sentenced to death and civilians who witness homosexual acts and fail to report them can be jailed for three years. “We believe there are limits to human rights,” said James Nsaba Buturo, state minister for ethics and integrity. “We are talking about anal sex. Not even animals do that.”GuardianThe AtlanticConservative commentators criticized a videogame that contains gay human/elf sex,YouTubeand “Anderson Cooper 360″‘s ratings had dropped more than 60 percent from a year ago.Business InsiderThe Israel Defense Forces created a unit to promote Israeli military objectives through Twitter,Haaretzand New York gangs were planning attacks on one another via tweets. “I knoe bitches from oyg [the Original Young Gangsters] that would dead mob ya shit in Harlem,” read one tweeted threat.NY Daily NewsGlobal Language Monitor pronounced “Twitter” the top word of 2009,Guardianand psychologists determined that social networking profiles capture people’s true personalities. “Social networking profiles convey rather accurate images of the profile owners,” a researcher said, “either because people aren’t trying to look good or because they are trying and failing to pull it off.”Science Daily.com

President Obama invited labor leaders, corporate executives, and high-profile economists to the White House for a jobs summit to address the high unemployment rate. He warned that the government wouldn’t pursue another large stimulus plan. “Frankly,” he explained, “we just don’t have the money.” Instead, he touted a $23 billion “cash for caulkers” program that would provide cash rebates for weatherization projects that reduce energy consumption.NYTUSA TodayNYTNYTUnemployment dropped from 10.2 to 10 percent, with only 11,000 Americans losing their jobs last month. “This is good news just in time for the season of hope,” said Obama.NYTAustrian anti-Santa Claus activists revived their nine-year campaign to replace Santa with a blond-haired, blue-eyed Christ-child;Fox NewsTelegraphJesus Christ was dismissed from jury duty in Alabama for being disruptive;APand Maryland police tasered, shot, and killed Jesus, a rottweiler/pit-bull mix who attacked his owner.MSNBCA Georgia man dressed as an elf was arrested for threatening a mall Santa with dynamite,APand an Ohio man was arrested for snatching a kettle full of cash from a Salvation Army volunteer. “I can’t stand you and your bell-ringing,” he told her. “I hate Christmas.”Toledo Blade

Share
Single Page

More from Rafe Bartholomew:

Weekly Review April 26, 2011, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Weekly Review March 1, 2011, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Weekly Review January 4, 2011, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Get access to 165 years of
Harper’s for only $45.99

United States Canada

CATEGORIES

THE CURRENT ISSUE

September 2015

Weed Whackers

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Tremendous Machine

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

A Goose in a Dress

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

The Genealogy of Orals

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

view Table Content

FEATURED ON HARPERS.ORG

Article
Romancing Kano·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

I recently spent a semester teaching writing at an elite liberal-arts college. At strategic points around the campus, in shades of yellow and green, banners displayed the following pair of texts. The first was attributed to the college’s founder, which dates it to the 1920s. The second was extracted from the latest version of the institution’s mission statement:

The paramount obligation of a college is to develop in its students the ability to think clearly and independently, and the ability to live confidently, courageously, and hopefully.

leadership
service
integrity
creativity

Let us take a moment to compare these texts. The first thing to observe about the older one is that it is a sentence. It expresses an idea by placing concepts in relation to one another within the kind of structure that we call a syntax. It is, moreover, highly wrought: a parallel structure underscored by repetition, five adverbs balanced two against three.

Article
The Prisoner of Sex·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“It is disappointing that parts of Purity read as though Franzen urgently wanted to telegraph a message to anyone who would defend his fiction from charges of chauvinism: ‘No, you’ve got me wrong. I really am sexist.’”
Illustration by Shonagh Rae
Article
Gangs of Karachi·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“In Karachi, sometimes only the thinnest of polite fictions separates the politicians from the men who kill and extort on their behalf.”
Photograph © Asim Rafiqui/NOOR Images
Article
Weed Whackers·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“Defining 'native' and 'invasive' in an ever-shifting natural world poses some problems. The camel, after all, is native to North America, though it went extinct here 8,000 years ago, while the sacrosanct redwood tree is invasive, having snuck in at some point in the past 65 million years.”
Photograph by Chad Ress
Article
The Neoliberal Arts·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“College is seldom about thinking or learning anymore. Everyone is running around trying to figure out what it is about. So far, they have come up with buzzwords, mainly those three.”
Artwork by Julie Cockburn

Percentage of Britons who cannot name the city that provides the setting for the musical Chicago:

65

An Australian entrepreneur was selling oysters raised in tanks laced with Viagra.

A naked man believed to be under the influence of LSD rammed his pickup truck into two police cars.

Subscribe to the Weekly Review newsletter. Don’t worry, we won’t sell your email address!

HARPER’S FINEST

Subways Are for Sleeping

By

“Shelby is waiting for something. He himself does not know what it is. When it comes he will either go back into the world from which he came, or sink out of sight in the morass of alcoholism or despair that has engulfed other vagrants.”

Subscribe Today