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Saying that he’s had a few movie ideas kicking around for a while now, local resident and very depressing man Scott Norgren purchased screenwriting software Tuesday. “I’m excited,” said the 36-year-old sad sack, who bought the popular program Final Draft 8 at Best Buy during his work lunch break. “I figured that if I’m going to give screenwriting a try, I should have the right software.”
“It’s supposed to make the whole process easier,” the poor sonofabitch added. “Like the outlining, for example.” Norgren, who spent several weeks making careful notes on the screenwriting programs currently on the market, finally settled on Final Draft not just because of its formatting capabilities, but also because the software came highly recommended by some of Hollywood’s top screenwriters.
More from Ken Silverstein:
Perspective — October 23, 2013, 8:00 am
How pro-oil Louisiana politicians have shaped American environmental policy
Postcard — October 16, 2013, 8:00 am
A trip to one of the properties at issue in Louisiana’s oil-pollution lawsuits
Abortions per 1,000 live births in New York City:
Researchers discovered an “Obama effect”: African Americans’ performance on a verbal test improved, to equal that of white Americans, immediately after Obama’s nomination and his election.
“All I saw,” said a 12-year-old neighbor of visits to the man’s house, “was just cats in little diapers.”
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“I hope that after reading the following pages the leaders of the Y. M. C. A. will start a campaign to induce good young men to do nothing. If so, I shall not have lived in vain.”