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Republican senators blocked a $726 billion defense bill containing provisions to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and provide U.S. citizenship to some foreign-born children of undocumented immigrants.WSJLady Gaga lobbied senators to support the legistlation, arguing that it made more sense to ban U.S. soldiers who do not believe in equality; the new ban, she suggested, could be called “If You Don’t Like It, Go Home.” ABCStephen Colbert testified before Congress in support of migrant workers. “I like talking about people who donâ??t have any power,” he said. NYTCuba detailed plans to license private entrepreneurs in 178 professions, including music and clowning. NYTIn the Gulf of Mexico, scientists speculated that an underwater “blizzard” of gooey organic matter (commonly known as marine snow or sea snot) was an effect of the BP oil spill. “I suspect,” said sea-snot expert Alice Alldredge, “the bottom-dwelling organisms might not be so happy.” National GeographicHBO released a previously unaired 1998 television clip of Christine O’Donnell, now a Republican U.S. Senate candidate in Delaware, in which she said evolution is a myth. “Why aren’t monkeys still evolving into humans?” she demanded to know. HBO via ThinkprogressScientists announced the discovery of two new dinosaur species in Utah. One had fifteen horns on its large head and has been named Kosmoceratops; the other, with no remarkable features, has been named Utahceratops. CSM
Computer worm Stuxnet was reportedly targeting Iranian nuclear facilities. Exploiting security flaws in Microsoft Windows, it is the first known worm designed to infect industrial-control systems. Computer-security experts said the complexity of the worm suggested it was probably made by a government agency. SymantecPC MagNYTCSMCSMGuardianJames Heselden, owner of the Segway company, died in a mysterious Segway accident; his body was found in a river along with his Segway. CNNThe Justice Department “reluctantly” invoked “state secrets” in asking a federal judge to dismiss a lawsuit on behalf of U.S. citizen Anwar al-Aulaqi, a cleric now living in Yemen who was targeted for assassination by the CIA,WPWPand it was revealed that the CIA was maintaining an elite paramilitary force of 3,000 soldiers known as “Counterterrorism Pursuit Teams” for use in the war in Afghanistan and the “secret” war in Pakistan.WPThe Justice Department reported that “a significant number” of FBI employees had conspired with supervisors to cheat on a skills-assessment exam, TPMand the University of Illinois denied emeritus status to retired professor and former Weatherman William Ayers, after university trustee Christopher Kennedy complained that Ayers had once dedicated a book to Sirhan Sirhan.Chicago Tribune
Eight thousand laptops sent by the United States to the children of Babil, Iraq, were missing; at least half had been auctioned off by Iraqis for about $10 each. NYTThe United Nations was $180 million short of funds needed to feed 6 million Pakistani flood victims through the end of this year.AFP via GoogleNewly released documents itemized the more than $1 billion that Canada spent to host the G-8 for three days in June, including $60 million for lodging and food, $4 million for a steel fence, and $42,000 for a harpoon system to disable speedboat attackers. NYTIt was estimated that the costs of dementia worldwide would reach $604 billion this year, or one percent of global GDP,Reutersand scientists confirmed that four-year-olds can understand irony.TelegraphVideo-rental chain Blockbuster declared bankruptcy,Newsweekand Brooklyn beekeepers fought in vain to save a bee colony after its hive was wrecked by a tornado, but all its honey had already been stolen by “robber bees” from other colonies . NYTFrench chocolatier Georges Larnicol launched a boat made out of chocolate in the port of Concarneau. BBCA poorly designed luxury hotel in Las Vegas, covered in reflective glass, condensed the rays of the sun and beamed them down on the resort’s swimming pool, causing plastic in the vicinity to melt. One hotel guest said that his hair had been scorched, and that hotel employees laughed at him, saying “Yes, we call it the death ray.” Las Vegas Review-Journal
More from Sam Stark:
Chances that an American knows the position of his or her senators on health-care reform:
Climate experts proposed creating a fleet of cloud-seeding yachts that will pump water vapor into the atmosphere to thicken global cloud cover, thereby reflecting more sunlight, in order to counteract the effects of global warming.
In San Antonio, a 150-pound pet tortoise knocked over a lamp, igniting a mattress fire that spread to a neighborâ€™s home.
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"It is an interesting and somewhat macabre parlor game to play at a large gathering of oneâ€™s acquaintances: to speculate who in a showdown would go Nazi. By now, I think I know. I have gone through the experience many timesâ€”in Germany, in Austria, and in France. I have come to know the types: the born Nazis, the Nazis whom democracy itself has created, the certain-to-be fellow-travelers. And I also know those who never, under any conceivable circumstances, would become Nazis."