Weekly Review — March 29, 2011, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

[Image: A Humbug, December 1853]

Libyan antigovernment forces, whose swift advance under coalition air strikes was slowed fifty miles outside Muammar Qaddafiâ??s home city of Sirte, signed an oil deal with Qatar, which officially recognized them as Libyaâ??s new leadership. Four New York Times journalists were released after spending six days in Libyan custody, during which time they were beaten by pro-Qaddafi forces and shot at by rebels before being moved to a quiet detention center furnished with the plays of Shakespeare. Al JazeeraGuardianNYTA referendum in Egypt showed that three quarters of voters supported changes to the countryâ??s constitution, while civil unrest continued in Bahrain, Morocco, Saudi Arabia, Syria, and Yemen.GuardianGOP presidential hopeful Donald Trump, touting his foreign-policy credentials, bragged of swindling Muammar Qaddafi on a multimillion-dollar real-estate deal. “I donâ??t want to use the word â??screwed,â??” said Trump, “but I screwed him.”The HillMasataka Shimizu, the president of Tokyo Electric Power Co., remained in self-imposed seclusion, citing overwork, while two of his employees at the Fukushima-Daiichi nuclear power plant were hospitalized for beta-ray burns to their feet.KyodoBloombergKyodo News

In South Dakota, where the waiting period to purchase a handgun is two days, Governor Dennis Daugaard signed a law compelling women to wait three days before getting an abortion. “Women need to just be reminded of the fact there is a natural, legal relationship between them and their child,” said state representative Roger Hunt.HuffPostNYTElizabeth Taylor and Geraldine Ferraro died, as did the inventors of cinĂ©ma vĂ©ritĂ© and Super Glue. NYTChicago TribuneLATHuffPostAfter eight minutes of deliberation, a “jury” supervised by Florida preacher Terry Jones found the Koran guilty of “crimes” and sentenced it to death by burning. “I hate these people,” said observer Jadwiga Schatz, referring to Muslims.AFPJurors in the perjury trial of former baseball star Barry Bonds listened to a taped conversation about his steroid injections. “Is that why Barry didnâ??t just shoot it into his butt all the time?” asks Bondsâ??s manager in the recording. “Oh no, I neverâ??I never just go there,” replies his trainer, “I move it all over the place.”AFPThe University of Bristol acquired two Breedâ??n Betsy bovine rectal simulators, allowing veterinary students greater freedom to learn cow anatomy and practice insemination techniques. “The first rectalling class with a new group of students is much more successful,” said teaching fellow Mike Steele. “No student is in a cow for more than five minutes now.”Bristol University

The royal wedding fruitcake began its month-long maturation, Buckingham Palace declined to divulge the dimensions of its dinner napkins, MPs debated the allowability of tweeting in Commons, and the editors of the OED traced OMG back to 1917.PeopleWSJGuardianOEDPaleontologists uncovered the bones of a giant short-eared rabbit incapable of hopping, and Newt Gingrichâ??s Twitter posts on chocolate Easter bunnies inexplicably disappeared.DiscoveryVanity FairA San Antonio man was embroiled in a three-hour armed standoff with police after he discovered that the price of a Taco Bell Beefy Crunch Burrito had risen from 99 cents to $1.49. “They did used to be 99 cents, but that was just a promotion,” said restaurant manager Brian Tillerson.mySAA whistling President Obama found the French doors to the Oval Office locked on his return from Latin America.ABCA SWAT team in Maricopa County, Arizona, served a search warrant on a suspected cockfighter by first flattening his farmhouse gate with a tank. Action-movie star and martial artist Steven Seagal, a passenger in the tank, later told reporters, “Animal cruelty is one of my pet peeves.” A hundred roosters were euthanized at the scene.GuardianKPHO

Share
Single Page

More from Anthony Lydgate:

From the July 2014 issue

Vulgar Materialism

Weekly Review April 8, 2014, 8:00 am

Weekly Review

Afghanistan votes, the U.S. Supreme Court rules in favor of wealthy political donors, and China standardizes its pets 

Weekly Review February 25, 2014, 8:00 am

Weekly Review

Upheaval in Ukraine, yobbery in the United Kingdom, and a historic douche in the United States

Get access to 165 years of
Harper’s for only $45.99

United States Canada

CATEGORIES

THE CURRENT ISSUE

July 2016

American Idle

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

My Holy Land Vacation

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

The City That Bleeds

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

El Bloqueo

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Vladivostok Station

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

The Ideology of Isolation

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

view Table Content

FEATURED ON HARPERS.ORG

Post
"We all know in France that as soon as a politician starts saying that some problem will be solved at the European level, that means no one is going to do anything."
Photograph (detail) by Stefan Boness
Post
Tom Bissell on touring Israel with Christian Zionists, Joy Gordon on the Cuban embargo, Lawrence Jackson on Freddie Gray and the makings of an American uprising, a story by Paul Yoon, and more

Freddie Gray’s relatives arrived for the trial in the afternoon, after the prep-school kids had left. By their dress, they seemed to have just gotten off work in the medical and clerical fields. The family did not appear at ease in the courtroom. They winced and dropped their heads as William Porter and his fellow officer Zachary Novak testified to opening the doors of their police van last April and finding Freddie paralyzed, unresponsive, with mucus pooling at his mouth and nose. Four women and one man mournfully listened as the officers described needing to get gloves before they could touch him.

The first of six Baltimore police officers to be brought before the court for their treatment of Freddie Gray, a black twenty-five-year-old whose death in their custody was the immediate cause of the city’s uprising last spring, William Porter is young, black, and on trial. Here in this courtroom, in this city, in this nation, race and the future seem so intertwined as to be the same thing.

Artwork: Camels, Jerusalem (detail) copyright Martin Parr/Magnum Photos
[Report]
How to Make Your Own AR-15·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Even if federal gun-control advocates got everything they wanted, they couldn’t prevent America’s most popular rifle from being made, sold, and used. Understanding why this is true requires an examination of how the firearm is made.
Illustration by Jeremy Traum
Article
My Holy Land Vacation·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

"I wanted to more fully understand why conservative politics had become synonymous with no-questions-asked support of Israel."
Illustration (detail) by Matthew Richardson
Article
The City That Bleeds·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

"Here in this courtroom, in this city, in this nation, race and the future seem so intertwined as to be the same thing."
Photograph (detail) © Wil Sands/Fractures Collective

Average speed of Heinz ketchup, from the mouth of an upended bottle, in miles per year:

25

After studying the fall of 64,000 individual raindrops, scientists found that some small raindrops fall faster than they ought to.

The Playboy mansion in California was bought by the heir to the Twinkie fortune, and a New Mexico man set fire to his apartment to protest his neighbors’ loud lovemaking.

Subscribe to the Weekly Review newsletter. Don’t worry, we won’t sell your email address!

HARPER’S FINEST

Mississippi Drift

By

“Matt was happy enough to sustain himself on the detritus of a world he saw as careening toward self-destruction, and equally happy to scam a government he despised. 'I’m glad everyone’s so wasteful,' he told me. 'It supports my lifestyle.'”

Subscribe Today