Weekly Review — March 18, 2014, 8:00 am

Weekly Review

Crimeans vote to join the Russian Federation, the mystery of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 deepens, and Joseph Jambon tackles the fornicating slipper snail

Saluting the Town (Weekly)In a public referendum, a reported 87 percent of voters in Crimea, an autonomous Ukrainian republic with a population of 2.3 million mostly Russian-speaking residents that was part of Russia until being transferred to Ukraine in 1954, chose to join the Russian Federation. Crimea’s minority Muslim Tatar population, which was deported in 1944 then returned en masse in the 1980s, boycotted the vote, whose turnout was reportedly 83 percent. The United States imposed asset freezes and travel bans on 11 Russian and Ukrainian officials, and Ukraine’s interim prime minister, Arseniy Yatsenyuk, said his government, which recently dissolved Crimea’s parliament, would not recognize the results. “Under the stage direction of the Russian Federation, a circus performance is underway,” said Yatsenyuk. “It’s like they’re crazy Texans in western Ukraine,” said a pro-secession voter. “Imagine if the Texans suddenly took over power [in Washington] and told everyone they should speak Texan.” In the week prior to the referendum, Russia massed troops near the Ukrainian border, occupied Ukraine’s Chornomorskoye naval base, seized a Ukrainian gas plant, shut down all flights from the Crimean capital of Simferopol except those to Moscow, and vetoed a U.N. Security Council resolution declaring the referendum illegal. “President Putin has started a game,” said Senator Robert Menendez (D., N.J.), chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, “of Russian roulette.”[1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12] Former leftist guerrilla commander Salvador Sánchez Cerén was elected president of El Salvador, former Colombian president Álvaro Uribe was elected to the country’s senate, and North Korea held parliamentary elections under the slogan “Let’s all vote in agreement!”[13][14][15] President Barack Obama appeared on Zach Galifianakis’s Internet talk-show satire, Between Two Ferns, and Ryan Seacrest’s radio program, On Air, to promote the Affordable Care Act and rebut Republican critics of his foreign policy. “I’ve been unfairly maligned,” Obama said of a criticism that he wears mom jeans, whereas Vladimir Putin wrestles bears. “I look very sharp in jeans.”[16]

An international search by the governments of 26 countries continued for Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, which disappeared en route from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing. Malaysian authorities said the plane had stopped emitting radio signals at 1:07 A.M. on March 8, 12 minutes before the co-pilot radioed “good night” and 14 minutes before its transponder shut down, then said they didn’t know when it stopped signaling; said that five checked-in passengers had failed to board the plane, then said none had, then said four had failed to check in at all; described two passengers with stolen passports as having “Asian faces,” then suggested they looked like African-Italian soccer player Mario Balotelli; and said the plane had either been diverted to the northwest, over Asia, or to the southwest, over the Indian Ocean. “Clearly,” said CIA director John Brennan, “this is still a mystery.”[17][18][19][20][21][22][23][24] U.S. Navy SEALs commandeered the oil tanker Morning Glory, a North Korean–flagged vessel of unknown origins that had been loaded with 200,000 barrels of oil at a militia-occupied Libyan port, and North Korea was found to have hidden a weapons shipment beneath 10,000 pounds of sugar.[25][26][27] In Nigeria, gangs of semi-nomadic Fulani cattle herders killed at least 169 people in attacks on seven farming communities with which they have been engaged in land disputes, and seven people died in stampedes at a stadium in Abuja where 65,000 Nigerians had been invited to pay $6 to take an aptitude test for 4,556 job openings at the country’s immigration service.[28][29][30][31] In Mexico, a self-defense organizer was accused of complicity in the deaths of two rival self-defense organizers, and a drug lord known as The Craziest One, who had been presumed dead in 2010, was declared newly dead.[32][33] A Mississippi man who awoke last month in a body bag at a funeral home died.[34]

Subscribe to the Weekly Review newsletter. Don’t worry, we won’t sell your email address!

The U.S. Senate unanimously passed a military sexual-assault bill that included a provision eliminating the “good soldier” defense, which allowed defendants to cite their exemplary military records to counter charges of sexual misconduct.[35][36] Radio astronomers declared that they had detected the beginning of the Big Bang, and a former Tampa police officer charged with shooting a man in a cinema because he was annoyed by the man’s texting was found also to have been texting.[37][38] During a dispute with an angry cyclist, a Liverpudlian driver opened his jacket to reveal an ailing red-crowned Amazon parrot. “Sorry,” said the driver, “I’ve got a parrot dying on me here.”[39] Biologists in Buffalo gathered the carcasses of nearly a thousand ducks who had starved or eaten selenium-harboring invasive zebra mussels when they couldn’t access minnows beneath Great Lakes ice, and Breton fisherman Joseph Jambon loaned his boat Le Papy to a campaign designed to turn the invasive fornicating slipper snail (Crepidula fornicata) into a delicacy.[40][41] A Wisconsin speech pathologist diagnosed Scooby Doo with rhotic replacement disorder, and Washington veterinarians reported that more dogs were being admitted for cannabis poisoning since the state legalized marijuana consumption.[42][43] A U.S. government report about the economics of prostitution suggested that pimps prefer to work alone. “Pimps are like eagles,” said one survey respondent. “They soar by themselves.”[44]


Sign up and get the Weekly Review delivered to your inbox every Tuesday morning.

Share
Single Page

More from Ryann Liebenthal:

Weekly Review June 10, 2014, 8:00 am

Weekly Review

Unity and disunity in Palestine, NYRB vs. CIA, and John Roberts marries art criticism with jurisprudence

Weekly Review April 22, 2014, 8:00 am

Weekly Review

Boko Haram steps up its attacks in Nigeria, South Korea mourns a ferry disaster, and Gabriel García Márquez dies at 87

Conversation March 5, 2014, 2:37 pm

Living with a Wild God: A Conversation with Barbara Ehrenreich

Barbara Ehrenreich on writing, social activism, and the possible existence of a mystical Other

Get access to 164 years of
Harper’s for only $39.99

United States Canada

  • http://?ustom-papers.us/ сustom-papers

    Thanks for this article. Very useful

  • Erica Martins

    This is so great am alive to testify the good work of hemp oil and its miracle healing.

    In April 10th 2012 i was diagnosed of breast cancer and bone cancer when the doctor told me it was already too late for me, that i have only ten months on earth to live. I shared tears and all hope was gone thinking that i will just sleep and go just like that.

    My mom came to visit me in Serbia two months later and bought me some hemp oil product saying that it works well on cancer, ever since she told me about the benefits and encourage me to use the medication. I have been on treatment for the past 4 months now which was the required treatment plan for me.
    Last week, I went to hospital to do my test and to God be the glory my cancer was not found there anymore. I have been cured with Rick Simpson hemp oil which my mother had bought for me.

    My family in forever grateful to Rick Simpson Cannabis Oil.

    Last week my mom gave me his email and phone number which i contacted him in person and thank him for the life saving. Below information.

    ricksimpsoncannabisoil_phoenix@outlook.com

    ricksimpsoncannabisoil_phoenixtears@outlook.com
    +447024078253

  • Keyshia lewis

    My story has to do with the healing power of Rick Simpson cannabis oil.”My sister Khloe, age 65, was diagnosed with Bone Cancer on the inside of her backbone 2 years ago, which had metastasized from breast cancer she didn’t know she had. I prayed for a total healing with NO operation, no chemo and no radiation. not everyone has had the experience of knowing Rick Simpson as their Healer… but they can! Rick Simpson, father of all natural hemp.

    May the grace of God be upon Rick for his good work and courage; and with his Hemp we are healed”.
    Early this year i traveled to Europe( Slovak) to visit a good friend of mine when i heard Rick was around so i traveled to him and meet him one on one and purchase the healing oil from him, now am so happy and filled with joy that my sister is no longer a cancer patient and she’s completely healed with his miracle healing oil. The doctor himself confirmed to us on Tuesday last week that my sister Khloe is fully OK. No sign of cancer in her bone or breast again….Wow…Am so so happy that my family and I have been thanking Rick for his good work of saving this world with his cannabis oil. Please people i don’t know how to thank him enough so am dropping his contact here*** ricksimpsoncannabisoil_phoenixtears@outlook.com *** +447024078253 ***, am begging if you can spear 5 minutes of your time and please help me to thank him, he is truly a hero of this world and i pray for God’s strength and wisdom upon him.

CATEGORIES

THE CURRENT ISSUE

August 2014

The End of Retirement

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

The Octopus and Its Grandchildren

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Francis and the Nuns

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Return of the Strongman

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

view Table Content

FEATURED ON HARPERS.ORG

Post
“Evidence of a chill was plain. People in Hailey spoke to me about Bergdahl in low voices, as if about a death.”
Fox & Friends, July 6, 2014
Article
The Seductive Catastrophe·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“The world’s leaders were moved by a populace fused into a forward phalanx, were shaken by a tidal wave of militancy jubilantly united.”
Photograph courtesy Mary Evans Picture Library
Post
The Glitch in the Video-Game Graveyard·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“From the nerd squabbles of Internet discussion threads rose an urban legend that culminated in a film that hinges on digging through my town’s trash.”
Illustration (detail) by Timothy Taranto
Article
What the Camera Saw·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“They shot him behind the left ear, and he fell.”
Article
Bounty·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

“If I’d been one of the unprepared, I’d be desperate, too.”
Illustration (detail) by Simon Pemberton

Rolls of toilet paper Chicago’s city government has produced this year from recycled City Hall wastepaper:

19,000

Two thirds of U.S. teenagers experience uncontrollable rage.

Russia lost, then regained, contact with a satellite carrying five geckos sent to copulate in zero gravity.

Subscribe to the Weekly Review newsletter. Don’t worry, we won’t sell your email address!

HARPER’S FINEST

In Praise of Idleness

By

I hope that after reading the following pages the leaders of the Y. M. C. A. will start a campaign to induce good young men to do nothing. If so, I shall not have lived in vain.

Subscribe Today