The Cloaca Maxima, 1872 Iraqis took to the streets after the national soccer team beat Saudi Arabia 1?0 in the Asian Cup championship. At least four people were killed by “happy fire” in the midst of what were reported to be the largest spontaneous celebrations in Iraq since the fall of Saddam Hussein. “Sport brings us together while the heads of everything in Baghdad can’t bring us together for five years,” said one reveler. “If the Iraqi football team ruled us, peace would spread in our home.” Each member of the Lions of the Two Rivers will receive $10,000 from …

Hillary Rodham Clinton announced that she will run for President in 2008, and Barack Hussein Obama released a video on the Internet announcing that he has formed a presidential exploratory committee. It was reported that Obama had concealed that he was raised as a Muslim and had attended a madrassah as a child.BBCWashington PostSeventy Iraqis died and 170 were injured when two bombs exploded at a university in Baghdad.CNNThe United Nations announced that 34,452 civilians were killed in Iraq last year, a number nearly three times higher than previous estimates by the Iraqi interior ministry.BBC“I think,” said President George W. …

A bovine idyll. The New York Times finally published an account of reporter Judith Miller’s involvement in the Valerie Plame Wilson case. At issue in the case is a notebook in which Miller had written the name “Valerie Flame”; Miller said she could not recall the source of the name, even though she had used the same notebook to interview I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, Dick Cheney’s chief of staff. “We have everything to be proud of,” said Miller. It was reported that both Libby and Karl Rove would probably resign if indicted,The New York TimesTimeand Lynne Cheney said that her …

Lost Souls in Hell, 1875. Pat Robertson called for the United States to assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez; Robertson then lied about calling for the assassination (“‘take him out’,” he said, “can be a number of things”), and finally apologized. Chavez said that Venezuela would take legal action against Robertson.The New York TimesBBC NewsA man was arrested in Tallahassee, Florida, after threatening to blow up Governor Jeb Bush.The Tampa TribuneA New York man was recognized as having the world’s longest eyebrow hair at 3.78 inches,MyWayand a judge in Missouri decided a new statewide ban on semi-nude lap dances was unconstitutional.APScientists …

In Iraq, the bodies of fifty Shiite hostages, some mutilated or headless, were pulled from the Tigris river, and the bodies of nineteen Iraqi soldiers were found in a soccer stadium in the city of Haditha. A suicide bomber tried to assassinate Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi,Los Angeles Timesand Iraqi militants shot down a commercial helicopter, killing ten passengers; they then shot the sole survivor, the helicopter’s Bulgarian pilot, and distributed a video of the shooting on the Internet.ABC NewsIn Tehran, around 400 Iranians signed up to become suicide bombers. “As a Muslim, it is my duty,” said a mother …

Two suicide car bombs blew up in central Baghdad, killing fifteen and injuring thirty.BBC NewsA bomb in Kirkuk killed twelve Iraqi guards,Al Jazeeraan American contractor was kidnapped north of Baghdad,BBC Newsand Marla Ruzicka, an activist from California who made it her mission to count the number of civilian casualties in Iraq, was killed in Baghdad by a suicide bomber.GuardianThe Iraqi army intervened to end a widely publicized hostage crisis in al-Madain, south of Baghdad, but found no hostages.ReutersIn the United States, Eric Rudolph, a Christianterrorist, pleaded guilty to several bombings, including those at the Atlanta Olympics in 1996, an abortion-clinic …

Lost Souls in Hell, 1875. President George W. Bush demanded that Syria pull out of Lebanon.New York PostSyria agreed to move its troops into eastern Lebanon, but the U.S. State Department warned that this is not enough.GuardianIraqi insurgents killed seventeen people.New York TimesA poll found that most Americans are against Social Security reform,Bloombergand the U.S. Mint planned to circulate $5 million in new buffalo nickels.New York TimesA 22-pound, century-old lobster was caught off Nantucket,CNNand a 13-pound, 13-ounce baby boy was born in Britain; the boy’s mother credited the boy’s size to her steady diet of cockles, herring, mussels, and crab …

A Small Family. Killing Ground. Four American mercenaries employed by Blackwater Security Consulting were pulled from their vehicles in Fallujah, Iraq, hacked to death, burned, and dragged through the streets; the remains of two were then hung from a bridge over the Euphrates River along with a sign that said “Fallujah is the cemetery for Americans.”BBC“Despite an uptick in local engagements,” said General Mark Kimmit at a press briefing a few hours later, “the overall area of operations remains relatively stable with negligible impact on the coalition’s ability to continue progress in governance, economic development, and restoration of essential services.”New …

A bovine idyll. Mad cow disease was discovered in the United States for the first time, in a Holstein cow that was too sick to walk but was nonetheless slaughtered and sold for meat. The mad Holstein’s brain and spinal column were sent to a rendering plant somewhere, possibly to be turned into dog or chicken food; there was no word on whether the cow’s blood was processed to be fed to young calves as a milk supplement. Secretary of Agriculture Ann Venemen, a former lobbyist for the beef industry, insisted that even meat from a mad cow is safe …

President Bush made his first visit to Germany, where he gave a speech at the Reichstag in Berlin, compared terrorists to Nazis, and enjoyed apple strudel and ice cream with Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder. Condoleezza Rice, the national security adviser, told German television that the German government needs to educate its people about the horrors of Saddam Hussein. “We also expect German support for the story that we are telling about this terrible man who has tried to acquire terrible weapons his entire life,” she said. The Tageszeitung, a leftist newspaper, ran a blank front page under the sarcastic headline “Bush’s …