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Psychologists found that high blood pressure reduces the ability to perceive anger, fearfulness, happiness, and sadness in facial expressions. “It’s like living in a world of email,” explained the lead researcher, “without smiley faces.”

Amount that President Obama has added to America’s “brand value” according to the Nation Brands Index:

$2,100,000,000,000

A Utah woman named Cameo Crispi pleaded guilty to having drunkenly attempted to burn down her ex-boyfriend’s house by igniting bacon on his kitchen stove.

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