[Washington Babylon ]The Road to Hell Is Paved with Stupid Celebrity Pledges | Harper's Magazine

Sign in to access Harper’s Magazine

Need to create a login? Want to change your email address or password? Forgot your password?

  1. Sign in to Customer Care using your account number or postal address.
  2. Select Email/Password Information.
  3. Enter your new information and click on Save My Changes.

Locked out of your account? Get help here.

Subscribers can find additional help here.

Not a subscriber? Subscribe today!

Get Access to Print and Digital for $23.99.
Subscribe for Full Access
Get Access to Print and Digital for $23.99.

Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher and other stars make their pledges to Barack Obama. Low point, among many: Jason Bateman promises to flush “only after a deuce, never a single.” Is that really what Obama was talking about when he “summoned a new spirit”? As the video comes to an excruciating close, celebrities ask, What’s your pledge? My answer: To never again watch another video like this one, with its self-congratulatory, puffed-up, dead-eyed gaggle of Hollywood tools calling us to “service” while chanting like zombies.

More from