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[Washington Babylon]

Why I (Still) Hate the U.S. Soccer Team

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A year ago I laid out the reasons why I can’t stand the American soccer team. I felt the same way after its first World Cup game, though what I really hate is the media coverage about the team.

In the aftermath of the 1-1 draw with England, the press declared the outcome “historic” and said it was an “upset draw” against a “mighty” English team.

First off, England totally outplayed the U.S., which mustered almost no attack and managed a draw only because the English goalie made one of the biggest blunders in recent World Cup history. Only the performance of American goalie Tim Howard, the sole American who played a great game, kept it from being a rout.

Second, the U.S. beat England 1-0 at the 1950 World Cup. That was historic. Tying England sixty years later on a fluke goal is not.

Third, England is currently ranked 8th by FIFA and the U.S. is ranked 14th. There are only about 100 points between the U.S. and sixth-ranked Germany (and over 500 points between Germany and top-ranked Brazil). England is a strong team but it has only won the World Cup once, back in 1966. This was no David vs. Goliath match or the “Miracle on Ice,” though you would have thought so based on the coverage.

Fourth, there is no such thing as an “upset draw.” Next thing you know the U.S. will lose a game by three goals and the media will say it’s an “upset loss” because it might have lost by six.

Fifth, it was obnoxious to watch the American team after the game wave to its fans in the stands and generally carry on like they’d won a glorious triumph. The German team had a more dignified commemoration after it beat Australia 4-0.

The U.S. is in a pathetically weak group and even this group of underachievers should manage to advance to the next stage (with triumphs, as the press would have it, over “mighty” Slovenia and Algeria). With the single-elimination format beginning in round two, the team might, god forbid, advance further.

Whatever they do, I’ll root against them every step of the way.

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