Thousands of African and Middle Eastern migrants attempted to reach England by entering the Channel Tunnel in Calais, France, and jumping onto passing trucks and freight trains. French authorities sent 120 riot police, equipped with dogs and tear gas, to assist the 60 officers who were already blocking the migrants’ passage. A Sudanese man was killed while trying to hop on a truck, becoming the ninth migrant since June to have died while attempting to cross into Britain. “It’s an incredible place,” said British prime minister David Cameron, “to live.” A white University of Cincinnati police officer was indicted on a murder charge for shooting an unarmed black man named Samuel DuBose in the head after pulling him over for driving without a front license plate. “This doesn’t happen in the United States,” the prosecutor said. “People don’t get shot for a traffic stop.”  In Tennessee, police searched for the killer of a Memphis officer, who was fatally shot during a traffic stop. Zimbabwean authorities accused a gynecological oncologist from Pennsylvania of illegally killing a lion during a bow hunt last April and sought the extradition of a Minnesota dentist who lured a protected lion out of Hwange National Park, wounded it with an arrow, trailed it for two days, then shot it with a gun, and beheaded and skinned it. In Jerusalem, an Ultra-Orthodox Jewish man stabbed six people at a gay pride parade, one month after completing a ten-year prison sentence for stabbing three people at the city’s 2005 gay pride parade.
A 15-year-old boy in Santa Cruz, California, was arrested for kidnapping, sexually assaulting, and murdering an eight-year-old girl, then disposing of her body in a recycling bin. Afghan officials announced that Taliban supreme leader Mullah Omar has been dead since 2013, and a faction of the Taliban appointed Mullah Akhtar Mohammad Mansoor as his successor. A four-day mandatory holiday was declared in Iraq as temperatures reached 123 degrees Fahrenheit. At Olympic and Paralympic venues in Rio de Janeiro, levels of adenoviruses, which can cause diarrhea and vomiting, were found to be 1.7 million times higher than the level considered hazardous in the United States. Part of a Boeing 777 wing suspected to belong to the Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370, which disappeared 16 months ago, was found on an island in the Indian Ocean. More than 100,000 French citizens signed a petition demanding the reopening of a nude beach on the French Riviera after the local government closed it in advance of a visit from the king of Saudi Arabia. Elon Musk, Stephen Hawking, and artificial-intelligence experts called for a global ban on autonomous weapons, and the irreparably damaged body of a hitchhiking robot was found in a Philadelphia alley with its battery dead and its arms severed.
A dead deer was discovered on the grounds of a shuttered John Deere plant in Canada, and a Texas man accidentally shot himself in the face after he opened fire on an armadillo and a bullet ricocheted off the animal’s shell. A Saudi farmer was offered $400,000 for a sheep whose coat has a marking that resembles the word “Mohammad” in Arabic. A Pennsylvania elementary school was closed because of an infestation by brown recluse spiders, and Old River–Winfree residents complained of worms coming out of their faucets. Residents of Odessa, Texas, spotted two people performing an exorcism at Memorial Gardens Park. “Jesus can heal anybody,” said a witness. “It’s just not something you expect to see on the duck pond.” In New Hampshire, Huckleberry Finn was arrested for sexual assault. In Moscow, a Stalin impersonator and a Lenin impersonator made peace with one another over ice cream after the former struck the latter with an umbrella. A Hong Kong zoo served Jia Jia, the oldest giant panda in captivity, a cake made from ice, grenadine, mint syrup, and apple for her 37th birthday; and Yuan Yuan, a giant Taiwanese panda, was suspected of faking pregnancy in order to receive a private room, air conditioning, fruit, and buns. It was revealed that the man who had been authorized to build England’s first women’s museum is instead opening a museum dedicated to Jack the Ripper.