A Swedish summer camp slated to be turned into an asylum center for migrants burned down, and it was reported that asylum seekers were entering Norway via its border with Russia by riding children's bicycles. A 27-year-old survivor of a 2011 terrorist attack in Norway was elected the deputy mayor of Oslo, and the attacker, Anders Breivik, who killed 77 people, was granted the right to sue the government for human rights violations. A hunter in Norway killed two moose with one shot before realizing they were in a zoo. "I had my mouth open," said the zoo's owner. Read more...
National elections were held in Argentina, Canada, Guatemala, Haiti, the Ivory Coast, Poland, and Tanzania. Justin Trudeau, a 43-year-old former bungee-jumping coach, became prime minister-designate of Canada; and a former TV comic was elected Guatemala’s president. “Guatemala,” said a losing candidate, “has serious problems.” The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration announced that this past September was the hottest on record. After nearly 100,000 illegally-set fires released 600 million tons of greenhouse gases in Southeast Asia, Malaysia closed schools, Thailand’s health ministry distributed 55,700 facemasks, Indonesian pharmacies began selling bottled oxygen, and scientists predicted that the smoke would persist into 2016. In an eleven-hour session including more than eight hours of questioning, leading Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton testified in front of Republican lawmakers about the 2012 terrorist attack in Benghazi, Libya, in which four Americans died. “Yoga,” said Clinton after the session, “helps.” In Sweden, a 21-year-old man entered a school near Gothenburg wearing a black trench coat, mask, and helmet and posed with students for Halloween photos before killing an Iraqi-born teacher’s aide and a 17-year-old Somali-born student in the country’s first school attack since 1961. He “attacked the dark-skinned ones,” said the lead investigator, “and left the light-skinned ones alone.”
A Swedish summer camp slated to be turned into an asylum center for migrants burned down, and it was reported that asylum seekers were entering Norway via its border with Russia by riding children’s bicycles. A 27-year-old survivor of a 2011 terrorist attack in Norway was elected the deputy mayor of Oslo, and the attacker, Anders Breivik, who killed 77 people, was granted the right to sue the government for human rights violations. A hunter in Norway killed two moose with one shot before realizing they were in a zoo. “I had my mouth open,” said the zoo’s owner. It was announced that a 16-year-old boy in South Carolina who had his tongue bitten off by the owner of a home he had broken into would be charged as an adult, a 14-year-old girl in Virginia faced charges of assault after throwing a baby carrot at a teacher, and teenage twins in Georgia were each denied a driver’s permit because their photos were identical. A three-year-old boy in Oklahoma steered a vehicle for three blocks after his mother, who had apparently been drinking, fell out of their pickup truck, and a warning was issued about sugar-addicted ponies attacking people in England.
A video in Papua New Guinea purported to show four tied-up women being tortured after allegations that they had engaged in witchcraft by invisibly stealing a man’s heart, and a French man was arrested for allegedly hiring out his wife to have sex with 2,742 men in the past four years. Fort Collins, Colorado, rejected a measure to allow women to publicly expose any part of their breasts below the top of the nipple, and it was reported that an upcoming Love and Sex with Robots conference had been banned in Malaysia. “It is an offense to have anal sex,” said Malaysia’s Inspector General of Police, “what more intercourse with robots.” The Idaho Department of Fish and Game discovered video of beavers equipped with parachutes being dropped from a plane into wilderness areas, a totem pole from the Tlingit Tribe in Alaska was returned 84 years after being loaded onto the yacht of Drew Barrymore’s grandfather, and a statue of Vladimir Lenin in Ukraine was altered to portray Darth Vader.  Scientists in Australia discovered that crocodiles sleep with one eye open, researchers found that 2 percent of hot dogs contain human DNA, and a replica of Edvard Munch’s The Scream appeared in a freshly sawed plank outside of Oslo. “I don’t think there’s anything strange about it,” said the plank’s owner. “But I expect that some people will think that.”
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