Marines in Mexico captured Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán, the fugitive leader of the drug cartel responsible for supplying the United States with the majority of its cocaine and heroin.
Forty alumni of a preparatory school in Rhode Island alleged they had been sexually abused and in some cases raped by staff and fellow students between 1974 and 2004. Baltimore’s housing authority agreed to settle a class-action lawsuit filed by 19 female public-housing residents who claimed that repairmen had demanded sex as compensation for work. Gambia became the 27th sub-Saharan African country to ban female genital mutilation and then ordered women who work for the government to cover their hair.  A Christian college in Illinois initiated termination proceedings against a tenured professor who wore hijab out of solidarity with Muslim women, and Dolce & Gabbana released a line of hijabs and abayas. An Islamic State fighter killed his mother in front of several hundred people outside a post office in Syria, Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush said he loved his mother more than his father, and a man in Utah loaded his father’s ashes into 50 shotgun shells and fired them at a shooting range. Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio was photographed wearing a pair of high-heeled boots, fellow candidate Rand Paul tweeted a video of himself holding a gold-colored boot with the caption “eat your heart out @marcorubio,” and New Jersey governor Chris Christie said that Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton would “pat [Rubio] on the head and cut his heart out.” The governor of Maine said he was not being racist when he told reporters that drug dealers with names like “D-money,” “Smoothie,” and “Shifty” were coming to his state to sell heroin and “impregnate a young, white girl.” Scientists at Brown University found that the tongues of certain lizards pull with a force of 264 gs when fired at prey.
Canadian officials denied the asylum request of an American man who said he feared that police in the United States would kill him because he was black. In South Carolina, an arsonist set fire to the home of a former police officer charged with murder for shooting an unarmed black man in the back eight times during a traffic stop last year. In Oregon, a group of armed militants who took over a federal building to protest the imprisonment of two ranchers convicted of setting fire to a protected wildlife reserve requested that supporters mail them slippers, tampons, eggs, and French-vanilla creamer. Marines in Mexico captured Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán, the fugitive leader of the drug cartel responsible for supplying the United States with the majority of its cocaine and heroin; and police in Texas arrested a man wearing a shirt that read “Don’t Meth With Me” for possession of methamphetamines. A man and a woman in San Bernardino, California, were arrested for using their toddler’s sippy cup as a meth pipe while the child was in a nearby room, and researchers in Canada found that having children decreases the rate at which a woman ages.
An international group of scientists determined that the spread of aluminum, concrete, plastic, and nuclear-test fallout created a new geological epoch; and North Korean leader Kim Jong-un claimed his country constructed and detonated its first hydrogen bomb. Researches in Scotland found that the color patches of two-tone cats are the result of a defect in their KIT gene, and a hunter in Idaho discovered a mountain lion with fully formed teeth and whiskers on the back of its head. A man in Monticello, Kentucky, was arrested for stealing 25 roosters from another man and ransoming the animals for sex. In South Korea, a man built a robotic drinking buddy. A 32-year-old man in Essex, England, was arrested for standing naked in the road and punching oncoming vehicles. A South African diplomat was arrested for drunk driving in Norway, and the United Nations reported that the book most frequently checked out from its New York library in 2015 was Immunity of Heads of State and State Officials for International Crimes. In Niceville, Florida, a man who was pulled over for reckless driving repeatedly handed the arresting officer coupons for Ruby Tuesday, asking, “Is that my license?” “This went on,” wrote the officer in his report, “for several minutes.”
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