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A Swiss court ordered Lidl to immediately destroy its stock of foil-wrapped chocolate rabbits.

Hurricane Ian left dozens of people dead and hundreds of thousands in the costly position of rebuilding their lives in Florida, a state where homeowners already pay three times the national average for home insurance.1 2 Volunteers were forced to pause their deliveries of supplies for hours while Governor Ron DeSantis, who is under criminal investigation after sending dozens of asylum seekers to Martha’s Vineyard, was filmed touring areas in and around DeSoto.3 4 “I’m committed to this island,” President Joe Biden told citizens in debt- and disaster-stricken Puerto Rico, where the U.S government has, since 1917, exempted lenders to the territory from local, state, and federal taxes.5 6 Britain’s prime minister, Liz Truss, abandoned her plan to eliminate the topmost income tax bracket following the precipitous depreciation of the pound, and the Royal Mint unveiled its 50 pence coin with a crownless Charles III.7 8 Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, who established the world’s first nonprofit city and approved the dismemberment of the journalist Jamal Khashoggi, was named prime minister of Saudi Arabia by his father.9 10 Jair Bolsonaro, the incumbent who has embraced the nickname “Captain Chainsaw” after rollbacks to environmental protections that have, during his tenure, increased deforestation by 52 percent, secured 43 percent of the vote and will face Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, who garnered 48 percent, in a second round of presidential elections.11 12 13 The Supreme Court denied a motion by MyPillow’s CEO, Mike Lindell, to dismiss a defamation lawsuit brought against him by Dominion Voting Systems.14 A Swiss court ordered Lidl to immediately destroy its stock of foil-wrapped chocolate rabbits.15

A 15-year-old girl, who was the subject of an Amber Alert, was fatally shot during a gun battle between authorities and her father, who is suspected of murdering her mother hours before; the San Bernardino County sheriff claimed that the teenager, who was struck while running toward police, had been firing at officers.16 17 18 In the third week of nationwide protests sparked by the death of 23-year-old Mahsa Amini while in the custody of religious police, the head of Iran’s parliament urged demonstrators to remain focused on “reform” and not “overthrowing.”19 20 The Japanese government alleged that one of its diplomats, whom the Russian government claims was spying on behalf of an unnamed Asian country, was blindfolded, restrained, and “questioned in an overbearing way.”21 The prison sentences of a Maryland couple who pleaded guilty to selling nuclear submarine secrets to an undercover FBI agent were increased by several years.22 23 On the occasion of its 75th birthday, the Central Intelligence Agency allowed news media into its museum of secrets in Langley, Virginia, which reportedly features a brick taken from Osama bin Laden’s compound, a rat coated in Tabasco sauce that was once used for confidential drops, and a small statue carved out of a coconut of Fidel Castro, whom the agency tried and failed to assassinate an estimated 634 times.24 25 26 “I should start by saying that I love spy movies,” said the CIA director Bill Burns on the first episode of The Langley Files, the agency’s new podcast.27

A study revealed that women associate neurotic tendencies with smaller, thinner penises.28 A wild gray seal believed to have traveled to a pond near Boston via drainage pipes evaded a multiple-hour manhunt with local firefighters and wildlife experts before waddling up to a nearby police station.29 A North Dakota woman charged with “unlawful possession of furbearers” complained that authorities had unfairly detained an “innocent raccoon,” named Rocky, whom she had brought into a local bar during happy hour.30 A man in Maine discovered a 700-year-old medieval manuscript estimated to be worth up to $10,000 while looking for a KitchenAid mixer at an estate sale.31 Three men were charged with fraud for inflating the market value of a New Jersey delicatessen, known locally for its cheesesteaks, to $100 million.32 New York City hired McKinsey, whose clients have fixed bread prices in Canada and implemented an aggressive medical collections service in Washington State after undertaking their consulting services, to design a new program for its sanitation department.33 34 35Maya Perry

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