Weekly Review

It was reported that, over an eight-year period, Chief Justice John Roberts’s wife earned more than $10.3 million in legal recruiting fees from corporations and elite law firms, including firms that had cases before the Supreme Court.^{1 2} Justice Roberts sent a letter declining an offer to appear before the Senate Judiciary Committee about the matter, and attached a copy of the “Statement on Ethics Principles and Practices,” which had been signed by all nine justices.⁴ The FDA approved the first pill for fecal transplants.⁵ “No, no, all that’s BS,” said Ron DeSantis in response to a reporter’s question about his having allegedly overseen torture at Guantánamo Bay, during an appearance at the Museum of Tolerance in West Jerusalem.^{6 7} A man in Texas killed five of his neighbors, including an eight-year-old boy, allegedly because they asked him not to fire his gun in his yard while their baby was sleeping.⁸ Another man in Texas allegedly resumed a date after fatally shooting a man who had scammed him out of $40.⁹ Two teenagers were killed in a shooting at a house party in Mississippi, a 17-year-old was shot at an after-prom party in Ohio, and four teenagers were shot at a community center in Kentucky.^{10 11 12} New research found that gun murders increased 45 percent from 2019 to 2021, with gun deaths among children and teenagers rising 50 percent.¹³ Montana barred a transgender state representative, Zooey Zephyr, from speaking in floor sessions and became the latest state to pass a bill banning gender-affirming medical care for young people.¹⁴ It was found that chimps who bully other chimps are more successful in life.¹⁵

A study conducted by King’s College London found that the United Kingdom, where more than 40 percent of people of color have said they experience racism at their job, 95 percent of black British students have heard racist language at school, and the criminal justice system has been declared systemically racist by human rights experts, is one of the least racist countries of the 24 surveyed.^{16 17 18 19} Documents labeled “Official sensitive” were found in a pub toilet on what one pubgoer described as “quite a lively night” in Barrow-in-Furness, England.²⁰ A group of yarn bombers known as the “Hurst Hookers,” have covered posts in an English village with knitted likenesses of King Charles III, the Archbishop of Canterbury, and Paddington Bear.²¹ “I thought it was really spooky and really beautiful. I’m glad I didn’t put it on my sandwich!” said a woman who insisted that Princess Diana’s face was in a ham she had purchased from a Tesco.²² A court ruled that tenants of a building in Frankfurt cannot withhold or reduce rent because their landlord sunbathes naked in the courtyard.²³ A soccer match was postponed after a referee in Zwickau, Germany, had a cup of beer thrown in his face, and Little League officials in Deptford Township, New Jersey, announced that spectators who aggressively harass umpires will have to volunteer to officiate at least three games.^{24 25} A photographer from Dildo, Newfoundland, took a photo of a phallic iceberg nicknamed “Dickie Berg.”²⁶

Eyewitnesses claimed that a woman loudly orgasmed during the Los Angeles Philharmonic’s performance of the second movement of Tchaikovsky’s Fifth Symphony.²⁷ A man in Rotterdam received one and a half kilograms of crystal meth packaged in cornflake, nacho, and chip bags that were sent to the wrong address.²⁸ A man in Boston was arrested for attempting to bring a “vampire straw” through airport security.²⁹ “It looks like a mermaid with two silicone breasts and, above all, a huge arse never seen before on a mermaid,” said the star of Focaccia Blues about a newly erected statue in Puglia, Italy.³⁰ A bronze statue of Freya, a euthanized walrus, was unveiled in Oslo, Norway.³¹ A peacock called Raul bit a man in New York.³² A police dog named Billy discovered a lamb in the back seat of a car next to a bag of french fries and £10,000 worth of heroin and cocaine in Glasgow.³³ An English zoo is looking to fill a “Seagull Deterrent/Visitor Services Assistant” position, which will require a “friendly” and “outgoing” personality and a willingness to dress up in a bird costume.³⁴ Sierra Madre’s city council requested that the state of California review its bear management policies.³⁵ A moose wandered into an Alaskan movie theater and enjoyed the remains of a Happy Meal.³⁶ —Megan Evershed