[Readings] The Mad h4x0rs, By Harper's Staff | Harper's Magazine

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The Mad h4x0rs


From a February 8 exchange on “goonies,” a channel on the Internet Relay Chat system, that was intercepted by computer security experts at Stanford University and at Securify, a consulting firm, in the midst of a series of “denial of service” attacks on major commercial Web sites. Dennis Moran, known online as Coolio, was arrested in March and charged with defacing the Web site of D.A.R.E., an antidrug organization. Moran denies any involvement with the denial-of-service attacks.

Coolio: nice and quiet around here . . . why is cnn.com not working?
Coolio: hey i didn’t do anything to cnn. i enjoy their news.
Dr_Hydin: uh huh wink wink nudge nudge.
manero: knock that shit off, for real.
dwango: is ebay still being flooded?
Coolio: they took it down.
SpEcTrE: the mad hax0rs moved on, whoever the evildoers may be.
dwango: amazon.com is down. and cnn, haha. these h4x0rs are mean.
Coolio: i don’t think the same hackers that did yahoo had anything to do with cnn.
DemonEatr: they heard what happened to yahoo yesterday, so they decided to copy it.
dwango: did they have anything to do with amazon.com?
Coolio: yes they did, since 45 minutes ago.
SpEcTrE: dude, CNN is back for me.
Coolio: good. cnn shouldn’t go down. they’re cool.
dwango: it’s slow.
*** zq has joined #goonies.
*** zq has quit #goonies.
psilord: hahaha, coolie made ABC world news tonight. jesus fucking christ. how the f . . .
Coolio: what’s ABC world news tonight? also, who the fuck is this zq motherfucker?
psilord: Coolio, ABC’s world news television show, every night.
Coolio: cool what’d they say?
dwango: haha, it’s their network news show, coolio.
qazew: coolio, what did you do that is getting so much attention?
Coolio: and did they only talk about yahoo or buy.com and ebay and amazon too?
*** aforce has joined #goonies.
Dr_Hydin: coolio, did you fuck up aol?
dwango: is amazon back up now?
Coolio: aforce, peon identification required.
aforce: sup? Coolio: who are you?
aforce: phifli used to chill with you?
Coolio: who the hell is phifli?
psilord: aforce, who the fuck are you?
Desantnik: seems aforce is going to Stanford. Jesse from Saved By the Bell wanted to go there.
psilord: aforce, go away or coolio will h4x0r you.
Coolio: hahahah
aforce: he he
dwango: hahah
psilord: HAhahahahah
psilord: “when we return, YAHOO IS VULNERABLE, hackers ambush the website.”
aforce: please :)
psilord: coolio, the story is coming up.
Coolio: tell me what they say.
shiro: they just had this big story, with this big logo saying “HACK ATTACK.”
dwango: haha. the zdtv just acknowledged that amazon was down.
Coolio: on TV? awesome!
aforce: who hit amazon? i thought only yahoo got owned.
Coolio: wait, who is aforce??
dwango: nobody knows.
Coolio: he’s a spy.
psilord: yeah, he’s FBI.
aforce: spy? naw.
Coolio: no fbi allowed. hey, two stanford.edu people joined in a short period of time . . . and we’re talking about yahoo . . .
psilord: “we have learned more about the catastrophic crash of yahoo today.”
dwango: psilord, where is this?
psilord: 52 simultaneous locations.
Dr _Hydin: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
psilord: “a concerted effort by a group of hackers”
psilord: “a large number of computers gang up on the yahoo infrastructure.”
shiro: fucking great.
psilord: “the tools are so sophisticated that you don’t even have to be very good at hacking.”
Coolio: hahahah, this guy is trying to join our hacker group.
Dr_Hydin: hahaha, we’re a hacker group now.
defile: did we suddenly become a hacker group?
psilord: actually, coolio is a hacker group. ahahah, “if it could happen to yahoo, it could happen to anyone on the web.” HAHAhah. “it could happen to you!!!”
Desantnik: This age of the internet is like the wild west, if all the cowboys were pathetic pasty white geeks and they rounded up D&D posters and hot pockets instead of cows.
psilord: oh my god, coolio is way famous.
psilord: dude, coolio, sitting at his computer, with his cock in his hand, disabled yahoo, and fooled people into thinking he was a group of fucking hackers.
psilord: how the f . . . coolio shouldn’t be allowed to have this kind of power.
psilord: hahahahah
Coolio: a group of malicious coordinated hackers did it. not coolio.
Dr_Hydin: no mexican can do this.
psilord: yeah, i was just kidding.
aforce: what did you use?
Coolio: i didn’t do anything.
aforce: a router sploit!
defile: uhm. who is aforce?
Coolio: nor am i doing anything now.
aforce: heh
Coolio: hackers did it.
aforce: ok
Coolio: defile, i have no idea, probably the FBI.
aforce: dood i’m not fbi.
defile: aforce, what brings you to these here parts anyway?
instig8r: we don’t come kindly to strangers.
aforce: blenny told me it was a 133t channel . . . i used to chill in #coded and #abusive.
instig8r: who is blenny?
Coolio: are you sure he didn’t say #gaynies?
defile: uhm, who the hell is blenny?
aforce: blenny used to be in gH . . .
Coolio: we don’t know anyone from gH.
Coolio: nor any other hacker groups.
Desantnik: aforce has cracks in his story.
defile: we usually talk about gay sex.
aforce: heh
instig8r: qazew, want to have gay sex?
qazew: sure.
defile: i bet FBI agents have massive child porn collections.
Coolio: defile, i even moved my encrypted kiddie porn .tgz to another box the other day.
instig8r: aforce, how does blenny know us?
aforce: he just said he did.
instig8r: aforce, don’t lie to me.
aforce: i’m looking for a new chan to chill in. «cc: is full of fucking feds.
Coolio: i’m FBI.
Dr_Hydin: i’m just local police. 8(
aforce: then i will make sure i don’t admit to breaking the law. :(
aforce: please. :(
dwango: please what?
aforce: don’t boot me. i’m just trying to learn.
qazew: aw sweet . . .
Coolio: you guys are too paranoid. it’s not like any of us did anything illegal other than child porn and drugs.
SpEcTrE: the word on the street is that YAHOO is getting owned again.
qazew: SpEcTrE, hehe, are you trying to say that you’re fucking with them?
SpEcTrE: no, not me dude.
qazew: SpEcTrE, who hit amazon, ebay, etc.?
Dr_Hy’din: adx owned ’em dude. at least he says he did.
SpEcTrE: i think it was a faction of communist china.
qazew: SpEcTrE, you bullshitting or really think adx did it?
SpEcTrE: in an attempt to thwart our capitalist system.
Dr_Hydin: personally i think Mahir got pissed off at the net in general and is sitting at home with a big bottle of tequila in his hand, hax0ring away, yelling I FUCK YOU!! to no one in particular.

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