The following New Year’s resolutions were written by then fifteen-year-old Daniel Robbins in January 2002 as an assignment for his high school typing class. Robbins, a resident of Great Falls, Montana, confessed in May 2003 to having run over forty-year-old Patty Emanuel, days earlier, with his Ram Charger SUV, intending to kill her and then have sex with her corpse.
1. Get a driver’s license, so I can do those horrible things people like to read about in the paper.
2. Kill the tooth fairy.
3. Stop screaming at my answering machine.
4. Get a job…