Guerrillas in the Mix, Translated by Jesse Barron

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From comments posted on YouTube about a rap video released in September by the Colombian guerrilla group FARC. The song describes their upcoming peace talks in Cuba and Norway with the Colombian government. Translated from the Spanish by Jesse Barron.

Yeah, go to Havana—where they can give you some music lessons. Commies!

Listen up, guerrillas. You have talent for extortion, for seizing defenseless villages, and for kidnapping children and forcing them into war. But when it comes to music, you’re worse than my farting ass.

This is an offense against music and the government, but most of all against Colombians.

I doubt that this is from FARC. I don’t believe guerrillas know how to mix and record tracks.

This is the talent you’d expect from monkey-eating jungle dwellers who work with coca.

It’s a terrorist attack against music.

Who could have written the lyrics? It must have been Mr. Hugo Chávez himself.

If their goal was to capture the attention of the youth, they achieved exactly the opposite. They became a caricature, imitating music the way a firefly imitates lightning.

They don’t have the money to record higher-quality shit?

What is this absurdity? To rap while terrorizing the population? To sing while killing children with bombs? While retarding the economic, social, and cultural development of the country? How cynical! Absurd! Nauseating! Dishonorable sons of a thousand bitches!

The rhythm is regrettable, but I wholeheartedly defend their work.

I’m using it as a ringtone.

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