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From message-board comments posted on the website of Seattle’s Mars Hill megachurch under the name William Wallace II, recently revealed to be the church’s pastor and cofounder Mark Driscoll. Driscoll proposed adopting the following terms so as to be able to “say things without people getting their undies in a bind.”

manly man : any regenerate man who loves God and his neighbor and demonstrates it with grace-guided practical living and rigorous theology

rocks : the courage a man must have to be a manly man

pussified : any man who has lost his rocks and completed the process of remaining biologically male but become female in all other ways

male lesbian : any man who thinks and acts like a woman because he thinks that makes him a better person

feman : a woman who thinks and acts like a man because she believes it makes her equal to men

half a man : any man who takes a wife and does not serve as the financial and spiritual head of his home but believes the relationship is 50/50 and she should make half the money and do half of his job at home

mixed nuts : any man who claims Christ but is actively involved in homosexual activity

Minni Me : a man’s penis

Larry Limp : any man who refuses to serve his wife sexually in such a way as to make the Song of Songs sing again

Wandering Willy : any man who commits adultery on his wife

home : the most sacred part of a wife’s anatomy

artistesticularless : men who expect women to take care of them because they play guitar or paint

feminism : the enemy of every man, every woman, every child, and God Almighty

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November 2014

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