Autistic children sit for an extra seventy minutes per day; have extra, unpruned synapses in the brain, which may be prunable with drugs that restore brain cells’ autophagy; and exhibit reduced sensitivity to ingested autism drugs because of the gastrointestinal deficits inherent to the disorder. Adults with autism have a hard time telling when others are mimicking their movements, are more likely to acquire sexual knowledge from the Internet, are less likely to acquire it from social sources, and are likelier to be sexually victimized. The darkest-skinned African-American boys are two-and-a-half times as likely as their light-skinned peers to be suspended from school; the darkest girls are three times as likely. Children with ADHD have impaired angry-face recognition. Facial paralysis causes people to appear unhappy. Female guppies prefer males with novel faces, female bluefin killifish prefer yellow-finned males, and Americans of both sexes prefer the body odors of people with similar political beliefs. Strangers observing couples in which one partner is drawing blindfolded with the other partner’s assistance can pick out the sexually unfaithful. Americans perceive prostitutes to have the least warm profession and, after dishwashers, the second-least competent. A plurality of occupational-asthma cases in France are due to flour. Dry-roasting peanuts makes eaters likelier to acquire an allergy. Hookworm infestation allows sufferers of celiac disease to consume sixty to seventy-five straws of spaghetti daily.
Global Female Condom Day, National Latino AIDS Awareness Day, and Global Handwashing Day were celebrated. University of Chicago researchers confirmed that works of art are imbued by their creators with personal qualities through magical contagion. A stowaway discovered in a rice truck that came from Fish Town to Maryland County later died of Ebola, and a Madrid dog was euthanized and a Dallas dog was quarantined after their owners were infected. Scientists traced the origin of HIV to 1920s Kinshasa, where the pandemic was catalyzed by the sex trade, rapid urban growth, STD clinics, and Belgian railways. Forensic scientists concluded that Richard III was killed by three or four assailants and that the fatal blow was a deep thrust to the lower left skull with a halberd, whereas a deep thrusting blow to the pelvis was delivered posthumously as an “insult wound.” Apparent gibberish on Athenian vases was discovered to be the Greek and Scythian names of Amazons, such as Swift-footed, Worthy of Armor, Loves Arrows, Trustworthy, Thief, Princess, and Enthusiastic Sex, along with a caption reading “Set the dogs loose.” Ape researchers reviewing five decades of data concluded that human interference is not the cause of chimp-on-chimp violence, which is innate.
Tumors grow faster at night, doctors are likelier to prescribe antibiotics later in the day, and eyeless Mexican cavefish lack circadian rhythms. The giant South American river turtle was found to employ six vocalizations; the larva of the gray snapper, two. The primitive colon of the little skate prepared the fish to move onto land. Biologists who removed a species of coral guard crab, T. flavopunctata, from corals in the path of a sea-star army observed that the corals were soon eaten. Kuzya, a Siberian tiger released into the wild in May by Vladimir Putin, swam the Amur River and disappeared into China, where the Miao Room was determined to be the world’s largest cavern. Scientists proposed that anthroturbation, from mines and nuclear tests, may be humanity’s most enduring physical legacy. A male flamingo in Mississippi died of injuries sustained while defending its mate from members of the Phi Kappa Alpha fraternity. Concerned American consumers will pay an additional 16¢ for eco-friendly ornamental plants. Fish will continue to move poleward at a rate of between nine and sixteen miles per decade. Momentary human happiness is determined not by actual outcomes but by whether outcomes exceed expectations.
Para, by Neo Rauch, whose work is currently on view at David Zwirner in New York City. Courtesy the artist and David Zwirner, New York City/London
