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A teenager kills ten people at a school in Texas, 31 Chilean bishops offer to resign, and the CDC warns against drinking the water in hotel pools
Trump launches a missile strike in Syria, Russia declares Jehovah's Witnesses an extremest organization, and human flesh is found not to be very nutritious
National Security Adviser Michael Flynn resigns, U.S. congressman Dana Rohrabacher announces that Macedonia is not a country, and White House press briefings draw more viewers than The Bold and the Beautiful
Hurricane Matthew kills more than 1,000 people in Haiti, Donald Trump attempts to apologize for bragging that he grabs women by their genitals, and scientists conclude humans will never live past 125.
The Olympic Games end, 500 civilians are killed in Syria, and a study finds that humans are concerned about hurting robots’ feelings
The Islamic State kills more than 200 people in Baghdad, NASA’s Juno spacecraft enters Jupiter’s orbit, and an English stallion gets hair extensions