Weekly Review — March 5, 2012, 7:15 pm

Weekly Review

nightmonkey002_350x279
Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney won the Arizona and Michigan Republican primaries, as well as the Washington State Republican caucus. Newt Gingrich, who placed last in Michigan and Washington, said that Romney was not a “convincing” front-runner and that the campaign for the G.O.P. nomination would “go on for a good while.”[1][2] President Barack Obama’s approval rating rose above 50 percent for the first time in nearly a year, and Senator Orrin Hatch (R., Utah) accused Obama of disregarding blue-collar workers in his energy policy. “President Obama has traded in the hard-hat and lunch-bucket category of the Democratic Party,” said Hatch, “for a hipster fedora and a double-skim latte.”[3][4] The American Mustache Institute criticized Congressman Roscoe Bartlett (R., Md.) for the “shameful reversal” of his support for a $250 tax credit for mustachioed Americans, and Colorado governor John Hickenlooper, presenting a literacy initiative to Denver elementary-school students, botched his introduction of Lieutenant Governor Joe Garcia. “Now I get to introduce that rising sex star,” Hickenlooper said of Garcia. “Symbol. I mean symbol. Not star.”[5][6] Rush Limbaugh apologized for describing Georgetown University law student Sandra Fluke as a “slut” and a “prostitute” after she spoke in favor of health-care provisions for free contraceptives at a Democratic Party steering-committee hearing.[7][8] Senator Olympia Snowe (R., Maine) announced that she would not seek re-election this fall, citing a lack of bipartisan cooperation in Congress. “Simply put,” Snowe wrote in an editorial, “the Senate is not living up to what the Founding Fathers envisioned.”[9][10]

President Obama affirmed his commitment to preventing Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon. “When the chips are down,” he said “I have Israel’s back.”[11] North Korea permitted the International Atomic Energy Agency to inspect the country’s largest nuclear reactor in exchange for a quarter million tons of U.S. food aid.[12] After the United States posted more than $5 million in bail, Egyptian officials lifted a travel ban imposed on seven Americans charged with operating unlicensed NGOs, leading the country’s parliament to open a probe. “We cannot accept any type of foreign intervention in Egypt’s affairs,” said house speaker Saad al-Katatni. The same day, the U.S. State Department publicly endorsed Egypt’s efforts to secure a $3.2 billion loan from the International Monetary Fund.[13][14] Al Qaeda gunmen killed 25 Iraqi policemen in Haditha, and 140 people died in clashes following an Al Qaeda attack on army bases in southern Yemen.[15][16] More than 200 Congolese died and at least 1,500 were wounded following a series of explosions at a munitions depot in Brazzaville.[17] Vladimir Putin was elected president of Russia for the third time, thousands of opposition protesters rallied outside the Kremlin amid reports by international observers that the election was unfair, and a Moscow museum began staging a puppet show in which Putin comes to terms with the loss of his penis.[18][19][20][21] Researchers determined that sperm cells lack a sense of smell, that American immigrants who speak English are healthier than those who do not, that the wealthy are more likely to take candy from children, and that Ötzi the Iceman was lactose intolerant.[22][23][24][25] A section of the Great Wall of China was discovered in Mongolia.[26]

Jan Berenstain, who co-wrote and co-illustrated the Berenstain Bears books, died, as did 43-year-old conservative media entrepreneur Andrew Breitbart, who helped popularize the Drudge Report and was, on his own websites, the first to break such stories as the Anthony Weiner Twitter scandal. “RIP 'O Mighty Warrior!” tweeted Texas governor Rick Perry.[27][28] A suspicious item that caused Disneyland to be locked down was found to be a scroll bearing a “spiritual message of goodwill,” and two Georgia schools were locked down after a student’s cell phone autocorrected the word “gunna” to “gunman,” resulting in the text message “Gunman be at West Hall Today.”[29][30] In Texas, a group of Girl Scouts robbed of their cookie-sale proceeds traded blows with the male thieves as they tried to get away. “I hope your face hurts from when Iravia punched you, jerk,” said scout Rachel Johnson in an interview.[31] Whitney Purvis, who was profiled on the reality-television series 16 and Pregnant, was arrested in Georgia for attempting to steal a pregnancy test from Walmart.[32] A carpenter was arrested in Zimbabwe for speculating that President Robert Mugabe may not himself have inflated all the balloons at his eighty-eighth birthday party.[33] Montana district judge Richard Cebull admitted he was wrong to send an email insinuating that President Obama was born of an affair between his mother and a dog, the Pentagon disclosed that some remains of 9/11 victims ended up in a Delaware landfill, and Groupon withdrew a discount deal for a walking tour of serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer’s stalking grounds in Milwaukee. “Guides march guests through the grisly corridors of Jeffrey Dahmer’s life and killing spree as they narrate the triggers of his psychosis and the heinous crimes he committed,” read the description of the tour, which 15 people had signed up for. “We’re providing information, much like if you would pick up a book or watch a documentary,” said organizer Amanda Morden. “It’s just in a different format than I guess people are used to.”[34][35][36][37]

Share
Single Page
undefined

More from Justin Stone:

Weekly Review December 4, 2012, 8:00 am

Weekly Review

Weekly Review October 23, 2012, 12:25 pm

Weekly Review

Weekly Review September 10, 2012, 4:26 pm

Weekly Review

Get access to 167 years of
Harper’s for only $45.99

United States Canada

CATEGORIES

THE CURRENT ISSUE

November 2017

Bad Dog

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Preaching to The Choir

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Monumental Error

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Star Search

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Pushing the Limit

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Bumpy Ride

view Table Content

FEATURED ON HARPERS.ORG

Article
Monumental Error·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

In 1899, the art critic Layton Crippen complained in the New York Times that private donors and committees had been permitted to run amok, erecting all across the city a large number of “painfully ugly monuments.” The very worst statues had been dumped in Central Park. “The sculptures go as far toward spoiling the Park as it is possible to spoil it,” he wrote. Even worse, he lamented, no organization had “power of removal” to correct the damage that was being done.

Illustration by Steve Brodner
Article
Star Search·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

On December 3, 2016, less than a month after Donald Trump was elected president, Amanda Litman sat alone on the porch of a bungalow in Costa Rica, thinking about the future of the Democratic Party. As Hillary Clinton’s director of email marketing, Litman raised $180 million and recruited 500,000 volunteers over the course of the campaign. She had arrived at the Javits Center on Election Night, arms full of cheap beer for the campaign staff, minutes before the pundits on TV announced that Clinton had lost Wisconsin. Later that night, on her cab ride home to Brooklyn, Litman asked the driver to pull over so she could throw up.

Illustration by Taylor Callery
Article
Pushing the Limit·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

In the early Eighties, Andy King, the coach of the Seawolves, a swim club in Danville, California, instructed Debra Denithorne, aged twelve, to do doubles — to practice in the morning and the afternoon. King told Denithorne’s parents that he saw in her the potential to receive a college scholarship, and even to compete in the Olympics. Tall swimmers have an advantage in the water, and by the time Denithorne turned thirteen, she was five foot eight. She dropped soccer and a religious group to spend more time at the pool.

Illustration by Shonagh Rae
Article
Bumpy Ride·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

One sunny winter afternoon in western Michigan, I took a ride with Leon Slater, a slight sixty-four-year-old man with a neatly trimmed white beard and intense eyes behind his spectacles. He wore a faded blue baseball cap, so formed to his head that it seemed he slept with it on. Brickyard Road, the street in front of Slater’s home, was a mess of soupy dirt and water-filled craters. The muffler of his mud-splattered maroon pickup was loose, and exhaust fumes choked the cab. He gripped the wheel with hands leathery not from age but from decades moving earth with big machines for a living. What followed was a tooth-jarring tour of Muskegon County’s rural roads, which looked as though they’d been carpet-bombed.

Photograph by David Emitt Adams
Article
Bad Dog·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Abby was a breech birth but in the thirty-one years since then most everything has been pretty smooth. Sweet kid, not a lot of trouble. None of them were. Jack and Stevie set a good example, and she followed. Top grades, all the way through. Got on well with others but took her share of meanness here and there, so she stayed thoughtful and kind. There were a few curfew or partying things and some boys before she was ready, and there was one time on a school trip to Chicago that she and some other kids got caught smoking crack cocaine, but that was so weird it almost proved the rule. No big hiccups, master’s in ecology, good state job that lets her do half time but keep benefits while Rose is little.

Illustration by Katherine Streeter

Estimated portion of French citizens with radical-Islamist beliefs who grew up in Muslim families:

1/5

Human hands are more primitive than chimp hands.

Trump declared flashlights obsolete as he handed them out to Puerto Ricans, 90 percent of whom had no electricity in their homes; and tweeted that he wouldn’t keep providing federal hurricane relief “forever” to Puerto Rico, a US territory that the secretary of energy referred to as a “country.”

Subscribe to the Weekly Review newsletter. Don’t worry, we won’t sell your email address!

HARPER’S FINEST

Report — From the June 2013 issue

How to Make Your Own AR-15

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

By

"Gun owners have long been the hypochondriacs of American politics. Over the past twenty years, the gun-rights movement has won just about every battle it has fought; states have passed at least a hundred laws loosening gun restrictions since President Obama took office. Yet the National Rifle Association has continued to insist that government confiscation of privately owned firearms is nigh. The NRA’s alarmism helped maintain an active membership, but the strategy was risky: sooner or later, gun guys might have realized that they’d been had. Then came the shootings at a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, and at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, followed swiftly by the nightmare the NRA had been promising for decades: a dedicated push at every level of government for new gun laws. The gun-rights movement was now that most insufferable of species: a hypochondriac taken suddenly, seriously ill."

Subscribe Today