Weekly Review — July 6, 2017, 11:31 am

Weekly Review

Men in Florida, Ohio, and D.C. get into trouble…

An Arizona man wearing a bullet-proof vest shot a police officer with a bow and arrow; an Oklahoma man who in 2004 told the Secret Service that Satan made him drive his car into a monument to the Ten Commandments drove to Arkansas and crashed his car into another monument to the Ten Commandments; a Florida man impersonating a police officer was arrested for pulling over a police officer; the residents of a town in Kentucky reportedly elected a pit bull as their mayor; a Maryland man arrested for robbing a convenience store was released from jail and then arrested again for attempting to rob the same store; a Michigan man set his garage on fire while attempting to blow up a nest of bees with fireworks; a Minnesota man attempted to avoid being arrested on a drug charge by giving the officer a Get Out of Jail Free Monopoly card; a man in Missouri kidnapped his sister to prevent her from marrying; an unemployed Michigan salesman, who in 2003 became the first person to survive an unprotected jump off of Niagara Falls during a suicide attempt and then became a daredevil, jumped off of Niagara Falls with a seven-foot snake, and died; a man in New York ate 72 hotdogs in ten minutes; a North Carolina man forced a family at gunpoint to shop at Target; an Ohio man removed his prosthetic leg and hit his wife in the head with it; a shirtless Washington man walking down a highway dragging a dead raccoon tied to a rope was shot twice in the leg by a passing motorist who mistook the animal for a dead dog; a West Virginia man broke into a house, ransacked it, fell asleep in the owner’s bed, and was awoken by police; and a Washington, D.C. man who formerly sold vodka and ran a teen beauty pageant before being elected president of the United States did not respond publicly to reports that he hung a fake Time magazine cover featuring a portrait of himself in at least four of his golf courses, tweeted that a talk-show host who called his hands small was “bleeding badly from a face-lift” and that another host was a “psycho,” banned the press from attending a fundraiser he threw for himself at his own hotel, threatened during the fundraiser to sue CNN, promised during another speech not to call CNN “fake news” provided they continue to film him, tweeted incorrectly that CNN’s ratings were down, and then tweeted a video of himself at WrestleMania XXIII body slamming, mounting, and punching another man, whose face in the footage had been overlaid with the logo for CNN by a Reddit user named HanAssholeSolo, who has previously written about putting a cat in a blender, bringing punch blades to Paris in case he needed to hit “Islamic fucks,” and calculating the number of “shitloads” in a “fuck ton,” which he claimed was 4,000,000,000,000.[1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12][13][14][15][16][17][18][19][20][21][22][23][24]

Sign up to have the Weekly Review delivered to your inbox.

Share
Single Page

More from Joe Kloc:

Weekly Review February 13, 2018, 5:32 pm

Weekly Review

Men of true integrity

Weekly Review January 24, 2018, 5:36 pm

Weekly Review

The Pence rule

Weekly Review January 9, 2018, 8:30 am

Weekly Review

Executive time

Get access to 167 years of
Harper’s for only $45.99

United States Canada

CATEGORIES

THE CURRENT ISSUE

March 2018

Nobody Knows

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

The Other Whisper Network

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

The Infinity of the Small

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Empty Suits

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

The Great Divide

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

view Table Content

FEATURED ON HARPERS.ORG

Article
The Other Whisper Network·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

No one would talk to me for this piece. Or rather, more than twenty women talked to me, sometimes for hours at a time, but only after I promised to leave out their names, and give them what I began to call deep anonymity. This was strange, because what they were saying did not always seem that extreme. Yet here in my living room, at coffee shops, in my inbox and on my voicemail, were otherwise outspoken female novelists, editors, writers, real estate agents, professors, and journalists of various ages so afraid of appearing politically insensitive that they wouldn’t put their names to their thoughts, and I couldn’t blame them. 

Of course, the prepublication frenzy of Twitter fantasy and fury about this essay, which exploded in early January, is Exhibit A for why nobody wants to speak openly. Before the piece was even finished, let alone published, people were calling me “pro-rape,” “human scum,” a “harridan,” a “monster out of Stephen King’s ‘IT,’?” a “ghoul,” a “bitch,” and a “garbage person”—all because of a rumor that I was planning to name the creator of the so-called Shitty Media Men list. The Twitter feminist Jessica Valenti called this prospect “profoundly shitty” and “incredibly dangerous” without having read a single word of my piece. Other tweets were more direct: “man if katie roiphe actually publishes that article she can consider her career over.” “Katie Roiphe can suck my dick.” With this level of thought policing, who in their right mind would try to say anything even mildly provocative or original? 

Illustration by Shonagh Rae
Article
Pushing the Limit·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

In the early Eighties, Andy King, the coach of the Seawolves, a swim club in Danville, California, instructed Debra Denithorne, aged twelve, to do doubles — to practice in the morning and the afternoon. King told Denithorne’s parents that he saw in her the potential to receive a college scholarship, and even to compete in the Olympics. Tall swimmers have an advantage in the water, and by the time Denithorne turned thirteen, she was five foot eight. She dropped soccer and a religious group to spend more time at the pool.

Illustration by Shonagh Rae
Post
CamperForce·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

After losing their savings in the stock market crash of 2008, seniors Barb and Chuck find seasonal employment at Amazon fulfillment centers.

Days after the Columbine shootings in 1999 that Eric Holder called for “regulations in how people interact on the Internet‚”:

5

The 63 percent drop in Brazil’s birth rate between 1960 and 2000 was due in part to soap operas.

US president Donald Trump, who once said it “doesn’t matter” what journalists write about him if he has a “piece of ass” that is “young,” blamed the press coverage of the abuse allegations on the White House communications director, whom Trump has reportedly called a “piece of tail” and asked to steam a pair of pants he was wearing.

Subscribe to the Weekly Review newsletter. Don’t worry, we won’t sell your email address!

HARPER’S FINEST

Report — From the June 2013 issue

How to Make Your Own AR-15

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

By

"Gun owners have long been the hypochondriacs of American politics. Over the past twenty years, the gun-rights movement has won just about every battle it has fought; states have passed at least a hundred laws loosening gun restrictions since President Obama took office. Yet the National Rifle Association has continued to insist that government confiscation of privately owned firearms is nigh. The NRA’s alarmism helped maintain an active membership, but the strategy was risky: sooner or later, gun guys might have realized that they’d been had. Then came the shootings at a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, and at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, followed swiftly by the nightmare the NRA had been promising for decades: a dedicated push at every level of government for new gun laws. The gun-rights movement was now that most insufferable of species: a hypochondriac taken suddenly, seriously ill."

Subscribe Today