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Ratio of the density of the average fruitcake to the density of mahogany: 1:1

Ratio of the density of the average fruitcake to the density of mahogany: 1:1

Age, in years, of a piece of wedding fruitcake on display at the Grover Cleveland Birthplace, in Caldwell, New Jersey: 106

Age, in years, of a piece of wedding fruitcake on display at the Grover Cleveland Birthplace, in Caldwell, New Jersey: 106

Number of worldwide incidents last Christmas of “Santarchy,‚” which involves roving mobs of unruly Santas: 29

Number of worldwide incidents last Christmas of “Santarchy,‚” which involves roving mobs of unruly Santas: 29

Number of fruitcakes that drunken Santas catapulted into the air at the event in Portland, Oregon: 6

Number of fruitcakes that drunken Santas catapulted into the air at the event in Portland, Oregon: 6

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French researchers reported that 52 percent of young women exposed to Francis Cabrel’s ballad “Je l’aime à mourir” gave their phone numbers to an average-looking young man who hit on them, whereas only 28 percent of those exposed to Vincent Delerm’s “L’heure du thé” did so.

Migrant children were teargassed; carbon dioxide levels have reached three to five million year high; missionary killed by remote tribe

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