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Gone when police got there

By Corwin Ericson

"Checked Out OK," by Corwin Ericson, was culled over the course of the last three years from the police beat of the Amherst Bulletin, in Amherst, Massachusetts, and appeared in the Spring/Summer 2001 issue of Jubilat.

12:20 p.m. A man digging up dirt and crawling on the ground near the intersection of North Pleasant and Pine streets checked out OK, police said.

2:19 a.m. Youths collecting rocks on North East Street were gone when police got there.

8:41 a.m. A squirrel that was acting oddly on North East Street was gone when police got there.

11:25 p.m. A vehicle that left Village Park at a high rate of speed was gone when police got there.

12:58 p.m. Police found a T-shirt on fire on the side of Belchertown Road.

11:31 a.m. A Village Park resident told police that a man looked at her strangely.

5:11 p.m. A man who parked his vehicle near the police station and put on a pair of gloves when he exited checked out OK.

7:29 a.m. A woman wearing only a T-shirt on her upper body and attempting to scale the chain-link fence surrounding the high school athletic fields near Triangle Street was gone when police got there.

9:15 p.m. A golden retriever by the side of Montague Road was just taking a nap and had not been hit by a vehicle.

10:53 a.m. A man licking the pavement on Main Street in front of Subway was gone when police got there.

2:36 a.m. An amateur radio operator in South Amherst told police that he was worried about interference that his radio was picking up.

9:21 p.m. A person told police that a slippery substance was placed on the sidewalk near the Unitarian church. Police determined that the substance had been placed by the Department of Public Works to provide better traction for pedestrians.

7:46 p.m. Brandywine Apartments residents told police that a man and a woman were attempting to sell pies door-to-door.

10:59 a.m. Footprints outside a Pine Street barn were just indentations made by falling snow, police said.

11:07 a.m. People meditating inside a car parked behind a West Street home were sent on their way by police.

9:55 a.m. A Rolling Green Drive resident told police that his girlfriend had been receiving poems at her Hadley workplace from a sixty-year-old man. Amherst police advised the man to contact Hadley police about the problem.

5:00 p.m. A Lake Wyola area resident told police that threatening graffiti was placed on his lawn. Police determined that the graffiti was just markings made by phone-company employees.

5:01 p.m. A man crawling on his belly at the intersection of Meadow and North Pleasant streets was gone when police got there.

7:48 a.m. Police received a report that a woman was sitting near the Amtrak station smoking cigarettes and laughing.

3:29 a.m. A man pulled his car up to a gas pump at Cumberland Farms on Russell Street and stayed in the car for fifteen minutes without getting out. Police said that when they arrived on the scene, the man was still in the car listening to a motivational tape.

4:47 a.m. A Village Park man and woman arguing over the type of wedding band they would purchase had settled their dispute by the time police got there. Police said the couple were eating nachos when they arrived.

9:03 p.m. A man wearing an all-black outfit who was walking near Village Park checked out OK.

11:48 a.m. Police received a report that a South Prospect man did not report for work. The man was found at his home taking a vacation day.

11:34 p.m. Police checked on a Belchertown Road man on behalf of his mother and found him asleep. The man was told to call his mother.

1:21 a.m. People walking back and forth on North Pleasant Street checked out OK.

9:41 a.m. Police determined that a child reported home alone at The Brook was actually an adult who was OK.

11:19 p.m. A resident at The Brook told police that her dog was acting strangely. Police said the dog appeared to be fine.

11:42 p.m. A moaning sound coming from a Belchertown Road home was quiet when police got there.

1:15 a.m. Police determined that an erratic operator on Main Street was just a bad driver.

5:57 a.m. A beastly looking dog walking on Triangle Street was gone when police got there.

9:57 p.m. A woman receiving phone calls from people she described as "giggling teens" was given advice by police.

11:23 p.m. Children riding Big Wheels on the sidewalks at South Point Apartments were gone when police got there.

3:40 p.m. A woman seen placing a large amount of plastic utensils into a car parked near the CVS pharmacy on University Drive checked out OK.

3:00 p.m. Police received a report that a person, possibly dead or just in need of medical assistance, was lying in the back yard of a vacant Schoolhouse Road home. The man, who said he was just practicing his singing, agreed to leave the area.

1:08 a.m. Police checked the security of a downtown building and found it secure.

4:38 a.m. A Hulst Pond resident reported hearing a spinning sound coming from the wall of her bathroom. Police determined that the noise was coming from her electric toothbrush, which was spinning inside a cup.

11:30 p.m. Police found a vehicle parked near fields on Hubbard Hill Road. The man and woman inside the car told police they were just chatting and looking at the stars.

8:45 p.m. No trace could be found of youths reported to be playing in trees at Brandywine Apartments.

9:55 a.m. A man waving at passing traffic in front of the Spirit Haus was gone when police got there.

9:48 p.m. A man seen picking weeds from Cowles Lane told police that he had finished his work for the evening.

4:42 p.m. Police received a report that the "Entering Pelham" sign was removed from Belchertown Road. Police said it was still there when they got there.

1:08 a.m. A group of ten to twenty people wearing no clothing running around outside the Boulders was gone when police got there.

8:16 p.m. A Carriage Street woman who had not arrived home was just running late, police said.

8:01 p.m. A man who was seen cleaning the centerline of North Pleasant Street in front of Bart's Homemade was gone when police got there.

1:44 p.m. Six adults whom an observer said were on the ground and making moaning sounds at Townhouse Apartments checked out OK.

2:47 p.m. A Village Park woman told police that she found a brownie underneath her license plate.

5:03 p.m. A South Amherst resident receiving annoying phone calls from her mother was referred to the phone company for assistance.

4:57 p.m. Police said an East Pleasant Street resident mistook a rotting piece of wood in the back yard for a human leg.

3:30 a.m. Police found a vehicle parked at Atkins Farms Country Market. The two women inside the vehicle told police that they were pretending to be Charlie's Angels and were going to steal a pumpkin from in front of the store.

7:15 a.m. Police received a report that a rott-weiler was carrying a small child in its mouth on Buffam Road. Police determined that the object was actually a stuffed scarecrow.

8:11 a.m. Police received a report that a vehicle traveling toward Belchertown had a child inside it who was not dressed appropriately for the cool weather.

1:34 a.m. A woman found sleeping in a car parked at the Big Y Supermarket told police that she was preparing for a long ride.

10:10 a.m. A North Hadley Road resident reported receiving strange emails and cassette tapes filled with spiritual music.

2:52 p.m. Police were called to the scene of a six-foot snow sculpture in the shape of a male sexual organ but were unable to dismantle it. They tried to knock the sculpture down, but it had iced over. The next morning a ten-ton loader from the Public Works Department broke up the sculpture.

10:34 a.m. A Montague Road woman told police that she encountered a suspicious man skiing who asked her strange questions about her dog.

3:40 p.m. A man with an artificial leg dressed in all-black clothing walking near an Olympia Drive residence was gone when police got there.

7:11 p.m. Police assisted a Hillcrest Place resident in removing a sleeping opossum from his porch.

11:05 p.m. A frozen turkey was found in the middle of North Pleasant Street in the area of several fraternity houses. Fraternity members denied any knowledge of how the turkey got there. An officer moved the turkey to the side of the road.

5:05 p.m. Police checked on a pedestrian walking in the middle of Pelham Road. The person said he was just crossing the street and was not causing problems.

8:17 a.m. and 8:18 a.m. Police checked on Valley View Drive and Chestnut Court residents participating in the "Are You OK" program. Both residents were fine.

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SEE ALSO: Amherst; Offenses against property

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