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More than 170 people died in attacks in Iraq. They were: blown up at a Shiite shrine in Karbala; killed at a police recruiting center in Ramadi; and attacked with mortar, automatic weapons, and finally by a suicide bomber at a funeral near Baquba.BBC NewsBBC NewsTwelve U.S. soldiers were believed to have been killed when an Army helicopter crashed in northern Iraq,The New York Timesand a U.S. airstrike north of Baghdad, intended to destroy a shelter for insurgents, killed a civilian family of 12.Washington PostThe FAA took steps to lower the risk of spaceterrorism.BBC NewsA suicide bombing in Afghanistan killed ten people,Reutersa landslide in Java killed at least 14 people,BBC Newsand the 12 men trapped in a mine in West Virginia were reported alive; all but one of them, however, were actually found dead.ABC NewsLobbyist Jack Abramoff pleaded guilty to conspiracy and fraud charges. The offices of thirty-six U.S. lawmakers, including Tom DeLay, Roy Blunt, Eric Cantor, and President George W. Bush announced that they would return money linked to Abramoff. “You can’t have a corrupt lobbyist,” explained Newt Gingrich, “unless you have a corrupt member.” DeLay also insisted that he was an ethical person and announced that he would permanently step down as House Majority Leader.CNN.com11Alive.comIt was reported that Ariel Sharon’s family had been given $3 million in bribes,BBC Newsand British MP George Galloway announced that he would be appearing on the reality TV show “Big Brother.”ReutersA policeman in Florida tasered a bear.SFGate.com
In Oklahoma City an anti-gay activist Baptist pastor and member of the Southern Baptist Convention’s executive committee was arrested after he propositioned a male undercover policeman for sex.Newsday.comThree Christian ministers claimed that they had sneaked into a Senate hearing room to anoint with oil the chairs used during Samuel Alito’s Supreme Court confirmation.Salon.comLou Rawls died,The New York Timesas did Yao Wenyuan, the final surviving member of the Gang of Four,BBC Newsand Hugh Thompson Jr., who rescued Vietnamese civilians from U.S. G.I.s during the My Lai massacre.APIn San Francisco an air passenger was arrested for having the words “suicide bomber” in his journal; it turned out that the words referred to the name of a band or a song.ReutersPetobesity was on the rise in Britain,Reutersand it was reported that street vendors in Shanghai were secretly replacing mutton with cat meat.ReutersA man in Fort Sumner, New Mexico, caught a mouse and threw it into a pile of burning leaves; the mouse, on fire, ran back into the man’s house, which then burned down.BBC NewsA woman in Vancouver, British Columbia, pleaded guilty to poisoning the trees in front of her condominium to improve her view of the ocean.Reuters
A 76-year-old performance artist was in trouble for chipping Marcel Duchamp’s “Fountain,” a urinal valued at $3.6 million, with a hammer. In 1993 the same performance artist was arrested for urinating into the artwork.APThirty-eight thousand people were dying each month in Congo, mostly from treatable diseases,News 24and Nigeria decided to halve its prison population by freeing prisoners with terminal illnesses.The Jamaica ObserverA building collapsed in Mecca, killing 76 people.Forbes.comThe Hajj began,CNN.comand Ariel Sharon had another stroke. Pat Robertson blamed Sharon’s poor health on God. Sharon later began to move his right hand,YNetNews.comCNN.comABC Newsand oil rose to $64 a barrel.ReutersAn earthquake struck Greece.CNN.comAn Australian woman died after three sharks attacked her,BBC Newsand a fuel truck in Boise, Idaho, ran into a jet.SeattlePI.comIt was reported that author James Frey’s best-selling memoir was heavily fictionalized, and that author J.T. Leroy was being played in public by a woman named Savannah Knoop.The Smoking GunNY TimesAn artist in California went to an abandoned mine shaft in a desert and bound his feet together with a long chain and a lock in order to sketch a self-portrait. He lost the key, however, and was forced to hop for 12 hours to get help.Boston.comThe New Orleanspuppy population was out of control.IndyStar.comTwo teenagers in Turkey died of bird flu,BBC NewsDick Cheney was retaining fluids,BBC Newsand a 2,300-year-old Irish corpse was found to be wearing hair gel imported from France.Reuters
More from Paul Ford:
Average number of sitcom laughs an American hears during a prime-time season:
Nielsen Media Research (N.Y.C.)/Jim Drake, Night Court (Tarzana, Calif.)/Harper's research
Czech and German deer still do not cross the Iron Curtain.
British economists correlated the happiness of a country’s population with its genetic resemblance to Danes.
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“I hope that after reading the following pages the leaders of the Y. M. C. A. will start a campaign to induce good young men to do nothing. If so, I shall not have lived in vain.”