“Into the palace parlor they stepped; her hand in his paw the old bruin kept,” 1875

The U.S. military announced that July was the least deadly of the past eight months for American troops in Iraq, with only 75 soldiers killed. AP via BreitbartSeventy-six U.S. senators had visited Iraq, and 3 percent of Americans approved of how Congress was handling the war, which was costing the United States and Great Britain more than $4,000 each second.The HillZogbyDaily MailIt was estimated that 90 percent of Iraq’s artists had fled the country or been killed,Washington Postand Iraq’sgays were being targeted for murder, though one observer noted that the scale of sectarian violence made it difficult to say whether gays had been killed for any specific reason. “I’m just looking for salvation,” said a gay pharmacist. “Maybe next month you will call and my family will say, ‘Oh, he is killed.’”Los Angeles TimesSouth of Baghdad, a handsome Sunni insurgent nicknamed George Clooney was shot by members of his own tribe and turned over to U.S. forces.Los Angeles TimesPresidential hopefuls Barack Obama and Rudy Giuliani pledged to invade Pakistan,.New York PostAPand Colorado RepublicanCongressman Tom Tancredo said that, if elected president, he would respond to terrorism on U.S. soil by bombing the Muslim holy cities of Mecca and Medina. SlateThe price of oil reached a new high,AP via Yahoo!FINANCEStarbucks said that it would raise its prices by 3 percent,AP via local6.comand Walt Disney World increased ticket prices for the third time in two years, to $71.local6.comA bridge collapsed in Minnesota.CNNAttorney General Alberto Gonzales declined to discuss whether he had perjured himself before Congress,AP via Mercury Newsand an online video game that allows players to torture and kill corrupt officials and their children proved so popular in China that the game’s website crashed.Daily Telegraph

In India, where dung-smoke clouds were warming the upper atmosphere, more than 1,000 people had been killed in recent floods, and Bollywood star Sanjay Dutt was sentenced to six years of “rigorous imprisonment” for possession of illegal firearms. “Don’t get perturbed,” the judge told Dutt, “for you have many years to go and work like the ‘Mackenna’s Gold’ actor Gregory Peck.”BBCMumbai MirrorMumbai MirrorBBCABC News (Australia)The HinduFive hundred inmates contracted food poisoning at Hiroshima Prison, Mainichi Daily Newsand a New Zealand study found that vegans are disgusted by sex with carnivores because meat-eaters are “composed of the lives of others.”ABC NewsResearchers at the University of Texas identified 237 reasons that people have sex, including “he smelled nice,”ABC Newsand Bob Allen, a Florida State Representative who sponsored a bill to curtail sex in public parks, said that he recently offered oral sex to a man in a park because he was afraid of black people.AP via myfoxtampabay.comFrench hip-hop star Doc Gyneco was pelted with projectiles and booed offstage in Geneva because of his support for French President Nicolas Sarkozy,AFP via BreitbartEddie Murphy confirmed that he fathered a child with Scary Spice,BBCand the sex trees of Uganda faced extinction from overharvesting.National Geographic NewsAn envoy for the UN Human Rights Council announced that acts of sexual violence by armed groups in Congo “are of an unimaginable brutality that goes far beyond rape” and that victims who survive being shot or stabbed in the genitals are often forced to eat excrement or the flesh of their murdered relatives with whom they have also been forced to have sex.Al JazeeraA gene that preserves intense emotional memories was discovered in 12 percent of African Americans and a third of Caucasians,ABC Newsseveral boys playing in a forest in Florida discovered a dead man sitting in a chair,local6.comand at Deception Bay, in Australia, a five-year-old girl found the severed heads of five kangaroos.news.com.au

Developers were planning to open a Hooters in Dubai,Arabisto.comspotted owls were being killed off by barred owls in the Pacific Northwest,OregonianIsraelis convinced Jordanians to overcome their prejudice against barn owls,Townhall.comand it was proven that crows remember their enemies.KING 5 NEWSA lost and distraught lovebird flew amok on a flight from Bangkok to Manila,Inquirer via Global Nationand ornithologists remained unsure as to why some duck species have such long, swirly penises or convoluted vaginas that spiral in the opposite direction and feature pockets and culs-de-sac. Philadelphia Inquirer via Sun JournalA study showed that penduline tits often abandon their offspring in order to pursue sexual conquests,Science Dailyand scientists found that a female mouse with a disabled nasal organ will begin to exhibit masculine behavior: mounting other mice, engaging in pelvic thrusting, and abandoning her young.Sydney Morning HeraldAnother team of scientists had bred schizophrenic mice,The Sunday Times via Times Onlineand Australianscientists said that rats can learn the risks of consuming marijuana.The AgeMarine biologists discovered an octopus with elephant ears,CBC News via SympaticoMSNand Vice President Dick Cheney described himself as a “unique creature.”Think ProgressCongressman Don Young of Alaska apologized for threatening to bite Congressman Scott Garrett of New Jersey,TPMmuckrakerand U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts was found ashen and foaming at the mouth. Courier-GazetteRussia annexed the North Pole,Israelis fired apples, chilis, corn, cucumbers, mangoes, and tomatoes into the Gaza Strip,Daily Mailand China declared that Tibet’s living Buddhas must seek permission from the government before being reincarnated.Times Online