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May eternal justice grant me that I tell the truth as audibly and strongly as I feel it in my soul. Once I made the most enormous sacrifice that a human being is capable of making for that which he deems just. Only I can judge it, and I would have a God at my side who is capable of the same judgment: for human beings know nothing of one another. I didn’t succeed; the fates would not have it, they would not accept it; and so it was hurled back to the position to which I was still capable of summoning the power to bring it. . . It can only please the gods once that one destroys oneself out of respect for the holy; on the second occasion it can never be the call of a god! So there will be no second time.
–Rahel Varnhagen von Ense (née Levin), letter to Karl Finck von Finckenstein, Sept. 4, 1799 in: Gesammelte Werke, vol. 8, p. 102 (S.H. transl.)
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Six Questions — October 18, 2014, 8:00 pm
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“Shelby is waiting for something. He himself does not know what it is. When it comes he will either go back into the world from which he came, or sink out of sight in the morass of alcoholism or despair that has engulfed other vagrants.”