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The U.S. Office of Thrift Supervision seized the IndyMac Bank of California, worth an estimated 32 billion dollars, after the bank’s closure in the wake of mortgage industry collapse,AFPand the Bush Administration proposed a rescue package for ailing mortgage companies Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac that would allow the Treasury to buy billions of dollars of their stock and lend them billions more to meet their short-term funding needs. The two companies’ total debt is estimated at $1.54 trillion.NYTimesAbu Dhabi bought New York City’sChrysler building for $800 million,GuardianUKand the Belgian brewer InBev planned to buy Anheuser-Busch for nearly $50 billion.AP via GoogleThe Environmental Protection Agency announced that the value of an American’s “statistical life” was $6.9 million, $1 million less than 5 years ago.APRepublican strategist Karl Rove ignored a subpoena to testify before the House Judiciary Committee, citing “executive privilege,”CNNand the Green Party selected Cynthia McKinney, the first African-American woman elected to Congress from Georgia, as its 2008 presidential nominee.ABCPresident George W. Bush met with other world leaders at the G8 summit to discuss climate change. “Goodbye,” he said as he left, grinning and punching the air, “from the world’s biggest polluter.”Telegraph UK
Former White House Press Secretary Tony Snow died of cancer,Foxand Iran released photos of a missile test that had been doctored to make it look as if four missiles were being launched instead of three.NYTimesMak Erot, an Indonesian woman who used herbs, Islamic prayer, and supernatural powers to enlarge penises, died at 130.BreitbartA new report revealed that the global population of zooplankton has drastically shrunk in the last forty years,BBCand world space officials announced the launch of a 2018 mission to procure samples of Martian rock and soil.BBCThe British retailer Marks & Spencer defended a policy of charging extra for bras that are bigger than size DD, saying the charge represented “a small premium for [necessary] specialist work,” while the protest group Busts 4 Justice derided the price increase as an unfair tax.BBCA British teenager who assumed that tremors in her bosom were caused by her vibrating mobile phone found a baby bat nestling in the padding of her 34FF bra.BBCThe World Health Organization warned people not to go into Ugandan bat caves after a Dutch tourist died from the Marburg virus, a hemorrhagic fever similar to Ebola.BBCScientists discovered a new form of mad cow disease in the United States.BBC
The European Parliament censured Italy for preemptively fingerprinting gypsies in a measure designed to reduce crime.BBCTexas police were searching for a burglar who kicked a two-month-old puppy,WOAI.comand police in Germany were searching for the Rabbit Ripper, who kidnaps rabbits from their hutches, decapitates them, siphons their blood into bottles, and leaves their headless bodies on playgrounds.BBCOsama Bin Ladenâ??s teenage son Hamza wrote and posted online a poem asking God for help against Western “gangs of infidels,”Telegraph UKand Senator Barack Obama alienated many supporters by voting to authorize the new Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, which expands the government’s power to spy on Americans without a search warrant and provides retroactive immunity for telecommunications firms that had cooperated with the government’s previously illegal wiretaps. Earlier in the campaign, Obama had promised to filibuster any bill that provided such immunity.NYTimesThe Reverend Jesse Jackson apologized for saying of Obama that that he wanted to “cut his nuts out.”DrudgeObama admitted that he disliked ice cream,YouTubelightning struck a New Hampshire woman and exited through her nose ring, leaving her unscathed,Breitbartand Danish scientists found that infants born from once-frozen embryos had a higher birth weight and fewer twin siblings, and were less likely to suffer from abnormalities. “Only the very top quality embryos,” explained Dr. Anja Pinborg, “survive the freezing and thawing process.”Telegraph UK
More from Gemma Sieff:
Number of British women killed last fall by lightning conducted through their underwire bras:
British women wear heels for fifty-one years on average, from the ages of twelve to sixty-three.
Thousands of employees of McDonaldâ€™s protested outside the companyâ€™s headquarters near Chicago, demanding their wages be increased to $15 per hour. â€śI canâ€™t afford any shoes,â€ť said one employee in attendance, â€śand I want Versace heels.â€ť
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â€śShelby is waiting for something. He himself does not know what it is. When it comes he will either go back into the world from which he came, or sink out of sight in the morass of alcoholism or despair that has engulfed other vagrants.â€ť