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Senator Edward M. Kennedy (D., Mass.) died of brain cancer at age 77 and was buried near his brothers John and Robert at Arlington National Cemetery. He served 46 years in the Senate, where he was an advocate for voting rights for minorities (and 18-year-olds), the rights of the disabled, the abolition of the draft, and–less successfully–health care reform. “The place won’t be the same without him,” said Senator John McCain (R., Ariz.). Rush Limbaugh said that Kennedy was “the lion of the Senate” and that “we were his prey.” “He left a woman to drown,” tweeted Fox News analyst Tammy Bruce, “and now he’s left us to drown.” “Hopefully,” said Eric Sanger, a director at the Sean Hannity Show, “this event will mark the end of this repugnant family.” Shortly before he died, Kennedy (who received his first communion from Pope Pius XII) sent a letter to Pope Benedict XVI. “I know that I have been an imperfect human being,” he wrote, “but with the help of my faith, I have tried to right my path.” eNews Park ForestMedia MattersThe New York TimesCBS NewsPoliticoAPYahoo! NewsThe White House announced that the economy would shrink by 2.8 percent this year, and President Obama reappointed Ben Bernanke as chairman of the Federal Reserve.The Washington PostOMB WatchFT.comA new, less-redacted version of a 2004 CIA report on interrogation methods was released. “I’m very proud of what we did,” said Dick Cheney of the torture program, which involved guns, shackles, mock executions, and drills. Attorney General Eric Holder Jr., against the supposed wishes of the White House, appointed a prosecutor to investigate the CIA’s practices,The Washington Postand Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad called for those who protested his sham victory, including opposition leaders, to be vigorously prosecuted.Al Jazeera
Forty people died in a bombing in Afghanistan.Al JazeeraJets from Israel bombed an alleged tunnel in Gaza,BBC Newsand Scientologists were digging tunnels in southern California, which was still burning.The Valley ChronicleThe GuardianRomanians booed Madonna after she asked them to stop discriminating against Gypsies.CBS NewsWall Street JournalBBC NewsDominick Dunne died, as did 36-year-old DJ AM, whose passing was much tweeted. “Don’t know how i am gonna play 2night but i am for AM,” wrote Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker. “My brother is gone. i love u and miss u.”New York TimesEdward Rondthaler, a proponent of spelling reform, died at age 104. “Foenetic speling,” he once wrote, “wil maek reeding and rieting neerly automatic for evrybody.”New York TimesA man who was sniffing gas from an aerosol can was tasered by Ohio police, at which he burst into flames,Mail Onlineand Oklahoma methamphetamine addicts discovered a new method–”shake-and-bake”–for making meth quickly in a soda bottle. “If there is any oxygen at all in the bottle, it has a propensity to make a giant fireball,” said a Missouri police sergeant. “You’re not dealing with rocket scientists here anyway.”St. Louis TodayIndia lost contact with the Chandrayaan-1 moon probe, and South Korea’s first satellite failed to reach orbit.Express IndiaCNN
British apocalypse scientists found that mixotrophs–organisms that derive energy from dead organic matter–can live for six months in total darkness.New ScientistThousands of people signed a petition asking the British government to issue an apology for how it treated gay mathematician Alan Turing, BBCand a Welsh man named Roland Mery, facing a two-year wait before he could have gender-reassignment surgery, chopped off his own penis. “Ring 999, Julie,” he yelled to his wife, “I’ve done it!”Wales OnlineSean Lynde, a graphic designer and a former roadie for the band Guster, was arrested in New York City for poisoning and beating to death his girlfriend’s four kittens, six months after someone posted a notice on Craigslist that read “KEEP CATS AWAY FROM THIS MAN.”The New York Daily NewsA deaf, blind, 16-year-old dog named Louie died after being left alone for hours in the hot car of Robin Starr, CEO of the Richmond, Virginia, SPCA.AP via Yahoo! NewsParts of a baby were found in the sewage works of the English town of Hull,Mail Onlineand wealthy Ugandans were sacrificing children. “They say if you don’t take blood, the wealth will go,” explained an investigator.The ObserverThe U.S. Forest Service warned campers to look out for marijuana growers, who can be identified by “tortilla packaging, beer cans, Spam, tuna, Tecate beer cans,” and the sound of Spanish music. “When I go camping,” said an immigrant-rights activist, “I’ll be sure to play nothing but Bruce Springsteen.”APTwin monkeys in Oregon were born to two mothers by means of a new technique that will one day allow for a child to have three parents.Live ScienceIBM took a picture of a solitary molecule,BBC Newsand scientists at Caltech found that the amygdala regulates our sense of personal space.Science Daily
More from Paul Ford:
Chance that an American would give up at least one week of life to avoid taking a pill every day:
Iowa urologists reported that only a minor portion of locker-room teasing arises from “the presence of excess foreskin”; most teasing targets small penises.
A pair of Russian film directors asked President Vladimir Putin to invest $18 million in a new restaurant chain intended to drive McDonald’s out of the Russian market. “Every project these days,” a Russian television personality said of the proposal, “must be smothered in patriotic sauce.”
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“Shelby is waiting for something. He himself does not know what it is. When it comes he will either go back into the world from which he came, or sink out of sight in the morass of alcoholism or despair that has engulfed other vagrants.”