(with apologies to H.G. Wells)
The New York Times, June 9, 2007:
In the prosecution of United States v. Padilla, the following are code words, and their meanings, as described by an F.B.I. agent testifying at the federal trial of Jose Padilla and two other terrorism suspects. Defense lawyers have challenged the government’s interpretations.
“go to the picnic” = travel to an area of jihad
“the first area” = Afghanistan
“the trade” and “commerce” = jihad
“married” = killed or martyred
“the dogs” = the United States government
“playing football” and “to eat cheese” = engaging in jihad
“the students” = the Taliban
The New York Times, June 9, 2037:
Following the death of former President George W. Bush due to sclerosis of the liver in 2012, former Vice President Dick Cheney and former Defense Secretary activated their cryogenics contracts with Microsoft-Halliburton Corporation with the end of extending their lives until fully sustaining bionic systems could assure them indefinite life. In 2036, under the administration of President Haleh Al-Masri, Attorney General Jesus Castañeda Llosa directed the revival of Cheney and Rumsfeld to stand charges for war crimes and crimes against humanity. In the course of the trial, the following are code words, and their meanings, as described by an F.B.I. agent testifying in support of the prosecution. Defense lawyers have challenged the government’s interpretations:
“using the dark arts” = authorization for the use of torture, assault and kidnapping, as granted by the defendants in violation of applicable law
“doing what it takes” = in addition to the use of torture, and sensory deprivation, authorization to kidnap the minor children of suspects, hold them in brutal confinement and threaten their lives and well-being
“the program” = a program of torture, physical and psychological abuse of detainees who have neither been charged nor convicted of any misconduct
“enhanced interrogation techniques” = a translation from the German, verschärfte Vernehmung, a series of brutal interrogation techniques first developed by the Gestapo for use in 1937 and subsequently refined, especially with the incorporation of techniques originally used by the Russian NKVD, KGB and GRU which were studied in the Navy SERE and CIA Kubark programs.
“extraordinary renditions” – as an FBI attorney concluded in 2002, a conspiracy to torture under federal law, by transferring targeted persons in the custody of the United States who were neither charged nor convicted of crimes nor any other wrongdoing to nations or other authorities who would torture and abuse them in coordination with U.S. Government agents.
“unitary executive” – a pseudo-legal doctrine designed to justify the assumption of dictatorial powers by the president, which would actually be exercised by the defendants, acting jointly.
“worst of the worst” – reference to detainees at Guantánamo, 90% of whom have nothing to do with Al Qaeda or any other Islamic terrorist organization, but who were detained and abused in order to manipulate a sense of fear among the American population
“war on terror” – a political scheme designed to insure the political dominance of the Republican Party by fearmongering, failing to identify an enemy or any combat with clearly defined and achievable goals, and therefore justifying perpetual war and the perpetual invocation of dictatorial powers by the president
