Readings — From the October 2014 issue

Marching Orders

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From a report by the Ohio State University’s Office of Compliance and Integrity on sexual hazing within the university’s marching band. Junior band members performed various “tricks,” “either on command or at their own volition,” and were assigned nicknames based on their tricks.

A female student sitting on laps and pretending to orgasm. This included her sitting on her younger brother’s lap and pretending to orgasm on “make the Band night.” Her nickname was “Squirt.”

A female student thumping the ground with her foot and pretending to orgasm. Her nickname was “Thumper.”

Two females rubbing their chests together. Their nicknames were “Jewoobs” and “Tiggles.”

A male student conducting a full-body demonstration of a flaccid penis becoming erect and spitting candy. This trick was also occasionally performed with another female student who pretended to stimulate the male student. His nickname was “Jizzy.”

A male student scooting across the floor on his hindquarters. His nickname was “Taint Brush.”

A male student stamping other students’ foreheads with a penis stamp. His nickname was “Mushroom Stamp.”

A female student pretending to be a vibrating sex toy. Her nickname was “ERV,” which stood for “E Row Vibrator.”

A male student chanting, “Haaaay, we want some pusssaay.” His nickname was “Captain Dildo.”

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