Readings — From the November 2017 issue

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Download Pdf
Read Online

From a Craigslist ad posted in the San Francisco area in August, preceding a total solar eclipse that passed over Oregon and other parts of the United States.

I am forty years of age, Caucasian male from Europe. My heritage is strong and pure. My looks, instincts, knowledge, and strength are 100% lethal. I am looking for a worthy female with strong genes, beauty, and smarts to experience the totality eclipse in Oregon. Exact place not set. If we have chemistry, I would like for us to make love while the eclipse is happening. When totality occurs, we will have simultaneous orgasms and conceive a child who will be on the next level of human evolution. We will make love with my penis directed toward the sun. Our cosmic orgasmic energy will be aligned with the planets. In a brief moment of ecstasy, we will understand everything and together create a new universe full of love.

You must like cats. Drugs are okay.

You are currently viewing this article as a guest. If you are a subscriber, please sign in. If you aren't, please subscribe below and get access to the entire Harper's archive for only $45.99/year. Or purchase this issue on your iOS or Android devices for $6.99.

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Download Pdf
Single Page
Share

Get access to 167 years of
Harper’s for only $45.99

United States Canada

THE CURRENT ISSUE

February 2018

Within Reach

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

The Bodies in The Forest

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

The Minds of Others

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Modern Despots

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Before the Deluge

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Notes to Self

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

view Table Content
Close

Sign up to receive The Weekly Review, Harper’s Magazine’s singular take on the past seven days of madness. It’s free!*

*Click “Unsubscribe” in the Weekly Review to stop receiving emails from Harper’s Magazine.