Readings — From the November 2017 issue

Total Eclipse of the Heart

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From a Craigslist ad posted in the San Francisco area in August, preceding a total solar eclipse that passed over Oregon and other parts of the United States.

I am forty years of age, Caucasian male from Europe. My heritage is strong and pure. My looks, instincts, knowledge, and strength are 100% lethal. I am looking for a worthy female with strong genes, beauty, and smarts to experience the totality eclipse in Oregon. Exact place not set. If we have chemistry, I would like for us to make love while the eclipse is happening. When totality occurs, we will have simultaneous orgasms and conceive a child who will be on the next level of human evolution. We will make love with my penis directed toward the sun. Our cosmic orgasmic energy will be aligned with the planets. In a brief moment of ecstasy, we will understand everything and together create a new universe full of love.

You must like cats. Drugs are okay.

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