“Thank you for the honor. I am very—honored.”

You have been instructed to remove the clumsy black mortarboard at this point in the commencement ceremony. Now you incline your head so that a red ribbon bearing a brass medallion inscribed with the Latin phrase vincit omnia veritas can be looped around your neck. Then a royal-blue velvet doctoral hood with white satin trim is also lowered over your head and secured in place around your shoulders with a snap.

A rotund little man identified as the president of the college congratulates you, shakes your hand vigorously. You are left…