From a text-message exchange between a person in Charleston and the operator of the South Carolina Aquarium’s educational hotline.

inquirer: I’m currently at the corner of Market and Meeting. What would I have seen around me ten thousand years ago before the area was settled by humans?

Also when was the area first settled?

Is there something unique to the Lowcountry that those who study marine life are fascinated by?

On what subjects do marine biologists disagree?

There must be things generally agreed upon.

Also why do seahorses grab anything they can with their prehensile tail?

Why should I only eat oysters in months that contain the letter R?

aquarium: Hi! Thank you for all of your questions. Ten thousand years ago South Carolina would have seen the end of the Ice Age.

Seahorses like to use their tails to hold on because they aren’t very good swimmers.

As for oysters, this rule comes from the fact that bacteria that is harmful to humans is more likely to be present during the warmer seasons.

inquirer: Thank you so much for all of your answers! My wife should be happy I drunk-text aquariums and not other women.